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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 3/23/2010 1:18 AM (GMT -6)   
hi room thought i wod had my 2 cents worth my real name is scott  my partner of 20 years is margret i am 46 years old or young  this room has ben of so much use to me and more i feel to my otha half i think she understands it beta than i do which is a little weird but its good b dont feel i could deal with this on my own but at same time feel that  i mite not be that man she once had early days yet i guess  unlike  a lot of u guys i havnt had to have surgery yet apart from the biopsy  but understand a lot more than i did b4 i dont know wat going to hapen but  i know i have the suport and love of  a loving  woman and that gives me a great deal of strenghtturn

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1804
   Posted 3/23/2010 6:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Scott, having an understanding partner is key during this process. The fact that she understands your situation better than you do is not surprising. When my husband had his consultation with the urologist following his biopsy, the doctor strongly encouraged my husband to bring his wife to the meeting - first because you should also have another set of "ears" with you and second because women "hear" different than men. I would add a third reason: treatment decisions affect both parties.

As to the effect that surgery might - or might not - have on you, there's no way of knowing whether you will come out of it the same as you went in. Each treatment has its side effects, and these have to be taken into account when making your treatment choice.

I wish you luck in the days and weeks ahead. Stay with us and we will get you through this. Your post hasn't said when you meet with the doctor to discuss your pathology report - this is critical and should be done sooner rather than later.
Husband diagnosed in 2/2008 at age 57 with stage T1c. Robotic surgery performed 3/2008. Stage upgraded to T3a (solitary focus of extraprostatic extension). Perineural tumor infiltration present. Apex margin, bladder neck and SVs negative. Final Gleason 3+4. PSA: 0.0 til July 2009. August 2009 - 0.1, September 0.3, October back to 0.0, December 0.0, March 2010 0.0. Next PSA in 6 months. Thank you God!

Worried Guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3742
   Posted 3/23/2010 6:40 AM (GMT -6)   
I too am lucky to have the support of a wonderful wife that I have been married to for 34 years. I don't know if it takes the pressure off, or makes things more difficult but I do know it helps. Left to my own devices, I'd never leave the house and would be sitting home alone, wearing a filthy ripped T shirt with my beard down to my navel. Not a pretty sight. :-)

I'm not sure if anyone else mentioned this but if you add a signature to your profile it would help others better understand your situation and give you even better info.
Just click on "Control Panel" on the blue bar next to "Log Off".
Then click "Edit Profile". You can fill in the info there. It's easy and really helps.
My signature is attached as an example but that is more than most guys do.
Married 34 years, DX Age 56. First routine PSA test on April 8, 09: 17.8. Start 2 weeks of Cipro to rule out protatitis. May '09 PSA: 22.6, 3 weeks later: PSA: 23.2.
Biopsy 6/10/09: 7/12 scores positive, 20%-70%, Gleason 6=3+3. Bone and C/T scans neg.
RP DaVinci -7/21/2009 @ Univ of Roch Medical Center
Left nerve gone, right partial spared.
Catheter removed - 7/31/2009 Pathology report received:
Gleason 3+4=7, Tumor size: 2.5 x 1.8 cm, location: both lobes and apex.
Extraprostatic extension present; Perineural invasion: present, extensive.
No Malignancy in Seminal Vesicle, vasa deferentia, lymph nodes 0/13
Prostate mass 56 grams. Pathologic Stage: pT3aN0MX
Post Surgery Status:
Potency - 12/11 5 months, Still no activity, zip. Using pump daily since 11/11. No effect with 20 mg of Cialis or 100 mg of Viagra. Shots next See Uro 1/22/10 Trimix #1. Try 0.08- 25%, 0.12-25%, 2/26/10 try 0.16 First Success! 90%.
Incontinence - 8/20 4 full pads per day
.. 9/7 3-4 full pads per day (Try cutting down on fluids. Bad idea. I know.)
12/11 5 months: Still 3 pads per day. 400-450ml/day
2/26/10 7 months: Still 3 pads but leak is now 320 ml (5 day avg.)
Post Surgery PSA - 9/3 6 weeks - 0.05; 10/13 3 months - 0.04, 1/14 6 months - 0.05.

James C.
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4463
   Posted 3/23/2010 7:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Scot, thanks for sharing with us. Sometimes us guys forget that we have a partner in this whole thing. Thanks for reminding us.
James C. Age 62
Co-Moderator- Prostate Cancer Forum
Gonna Make Myself A Better Man:
4/07 PSA 7.6, referred to Urologist, recheck 6.7
7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS 3/3=6
9/07 Nerve sparing open RRP 110gms.- Path Report: GS 3+3=6 Stg. pT2c, 110gms, margins clear
32 mts: PSA's: .04 each test since surgery, ED Continues-Bimix .3ml PRN or Trimix .15ml PRN

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2692
   Posted 3/23/2010 8:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, we are thankful for our partners.

I am also thankful for Jeff's partner. That vision he flashed in front us was not pretty.

We are also thankful for the men and women on this site who are here to help us through the tough times.

Stay with us and we will ride along with you on your journey.
Age 58, PSA 4.47 Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic  4/14/09   Nerves spared, but carved up a little.
0/23 lymph nodes involved  pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks .
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Living the Good Life, cancer free  6 week PSA  <.03
3 month PSA <.01 (different lab)
5 month PSA <.03 (undetectable)
6 Month PSA <.01
1 pad a day, no progress on ED.  Trimix injection
No pads, 1/1/10,  9 month PSA < .01

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 3/25/2010 4:04 AM (GMT -6)   
thank u al for ur replys today it seems like the walls are closing in on me and d day or p day is just around the corner its strange as some days its like no worrys and now its like y even bother  guess its just one of those days  ned to work more lol  i wod post more details bout me but dont have  al the info to post ned to be sure going 4 a scan or to soon oh joy joy no more then i hope 
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