Joke I just thought of

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compiler
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Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7269
   Posted 4/9/2010 8:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Why did the patient have the RP?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
To get to the other side.
 
LOL
 
Mel

63 years old . PSA-- 3/08--2.90; 8/09--4.01; 11/09--4.19 (Free PSA 24%),  after 45 days on cipro! DREs have always been normal. PCA-3 was about 75 (way above the 35 threshold). That led to:

Biopsy on 11/30/09. 5 out of 12 cores positive. Gleason 4+3. 2 cores were 3+3 (one 5% and the other 30%) on one side. On  other side:2 cores are 4+3 (5%)--1 core 3+4 (30%) no peri-neural invasion. prostate is 45 grams. Stage: T1C.  

Surgery with Dr. Menon at Ford Hospital, 1/26/10. He says all looked good. Spared nerves. Unfortunately: Pathology Report: G 4+3 (65%-35%). Cancer in 15% of gland. Lymph Nodes: Clear.  Perineural Invasion: yes. Seminal Vessical Involvement: No.  Extraprostatic Extension: yes.  Positive Margin: Yes-- focal-- 1 spot .5mm. Final Weight is 52.7 gms.  (Second opinion from Jon Epstein at Hopkins confirmed these results)

 Incontinence: joined that club-- definite leaks—1 pad/day. Night is dry, was  using 1 pad at night for security, but pretty much dispensed with that most nights. Update: no pads at night. No pads while at home, but still very uncomfortable. Use 1 pad for out-of-house activities. Suddenly got MUCH better on 3/10/10, almost overnight. Still some urgency but no pads about 90% of the time.  As of 3/12/10--completely continent! Uh...OH. As of about 3/16/10 problems with constant urgency although no pads needed--feels like an infection but none showing in urine.

First post-op PSA on 3/10/10--DRUM ROLL: 0.01 Next PSA in mid-June.


zufus
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Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 3149
   Posted 4/9/2010 9:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Mel you should have seen some of my jokes back in 2003 while on ADT3 drugs, I think I got extra creative and did one that was like a gangsta scene parody, almost like an movie script and posted it on Yananow I think it was. Looking back it was wacko-jacko, perhaps we get various side effects from this like new found types of humor. Must be a chemical thing with lack of testostorone or such. (LOL)

Hope your psa's stay where they are.
Youth is wasted on the Young-(W.C. Fields)


Worried Guy
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Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/10/2010 6:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Umm,

Why did the PCa patient refuse to accept the overseas job assignment?

He wanted to stay in continent.



Why did the blond, gold digger only date PCa patients?

She wanted men who were im-potent.



Oh boy, I'd better stop now before this gets worse.

Jeff

Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/10/2010 6:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Too late!

Why did the incontinent dyslexic sign up for therapy?

He thought the sign said: Free Leak Free Pad.

OK, Now I really will stop.

Jeff

soulmate 101
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 57
   Posted 4/10/2010 6:58 AM (GMT -6)   
here's a real life scenario:

every time we walk into the urologist's office, the secretary invariably greets us with

"So, What's up?"
Husband, age 57, diagnosed in December 09, after PSA velocity increase from 2.71 to 4.34 over one year prompted a prostate biopsy.
Gleason 4+3 = 7 stage T2c, laparoscopic nerve sparing Da Vinci robotic radical prostatectomy 1/13/10, clear surgical margins no lymph node or seminal vesicle involvement.
six weeks post op: leaking has stopped, no more pads, soreness in wounds has dissipated. ED: confusing


Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/10/2010 7:25 AM (GMT -6)   
There are wiseacres everywhere!

Hey,
Why did the post RRP guy keep searching for a good advice web site?

Because it wasn't healing well.

Aww...
Jeff


Hey Leno, Are you writing these down?

Ed C. (Old67)
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2460
   Posted 4/10/2010 9:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Mel,
I'm glad you are getting your sense of humor back. You are now on the other side.
Age: 67 at Dx on 12/30/08
PSA 9/05 1.15; 8/06 1.45; 12/07 2.41; 8/08 3.9; 11/08 3.5 free PSA 11%
2 cores out of 12 were positive Gleason (4+4) and (4+5)
Negative CT scan and bone scan done on 1/16
Robotic surgery performed 2/9/09 Dr Fagin, Austin TX
Pathology report:
Prostate weighed 57 grams size:5.2 x 5.0 x 4.9 cm
Posterior lateral lesions measuring 1.5 x 1.4 x 1.0 cm showing focal capsular penetration over a distance of 3mm in circumference.
Prostatic adenocarciroma accounts for approx. 10-20% of the hemisphere.
Gleason 4+4
both nerve bundles removed,
pT3a Nx Mx, Negative margins
seminal vesicles clean, lymph nodes: not dissected
continent after 4 months
8 weeks PSA test 4/7/09 result <0.1
5 months PSA test 7/9/09 result <0.1
8 months PSA test 10/9/09 result <0.1
11.5 months test 1/21/10 result 0.004


IdahoSurvivor
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 4/10/2010 12:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey you should all be on the "Tonight Show!"

Why was the computer geek shocked during his prostate exam?

He was expecting a "digital" exam! tongue

Barry
Surgery: Da Vinci; July 31, 2007; 54 on surgery day;
Pathology: PSA: 4.3; Gleason: 3+3=6; T2a; Confined to Prostate;
Post RP PSAs: 09/'07 <0.04; 12/'07 <0.04; 03/'08 <0.04;
06/'08 <0.04; 12/'08 <0.04; 06/'09 =0.06; 09/'09 <0.04; 12/'09 =0.05;
Latest PSA 3/'10 <0.04


zufus
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 3149
   Posted 4/10/2010 1:55 PM (GMT -6)   
You know there are alot of jokes about the DRE exam since you mentioned it...I won't go into details but(the punch line red flags things were, like) be very worried if the lights go out when in the exam room; be very concerned during the DRE and two hands are then felt upon your shoulders, worry if disco music starts playing,...there is an internet DRE exam link that is extremely funny...the doc comes into the room, patient is waithing upon table, doc is gloved and music starts by Lou Rawls....'you'll never find'...da-da-da-da...(Song is 'You're Gonna Miss My Lovin'). Maybe I can find the link. Hope this passes the mod squad's posting rules..tried to keep it civil.
 
FOUND the link go to YouTube.com and search for prostate exam music Lou Rawls and see video clip.   Lou Rawls is the dressed up doc and Damon Wayans is the patient...it is a good laugh...enjoy! Also on Youtube.com find other prostate parodies like "Brokeback Prostate Clinic" another good laugh and others including 'Family Guy' cartoon version, too.


Youth is wasted on the Young-(W.C. Fields)

Post Edited (zufus) : 4/10/2010 1:13:54 PM (GMT-6)


pattersson
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 4/10/2010 2:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi all

I am new here, but have posted on some of the other forums. Tried at least three hours to think about a cancer related joke, and here it is

What is the cancer capital of the world?

Washington PC

I hope no-one's used it before
Radical prostactemy 10/2006 @42, PSA 3.9, Gleason 3+4
PSA <0.2 2006-2009
PSA 0.14 01/2010
 
 


compiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7269
   Posted 4/10/2010 3:29 PM (GMT -6)   
This thread reminds me of the old BeeGees song:
 
"I started a joke..."
 
Mel

63 years old . PSA-- 3/08--2.90; 8/09--4.01; 11/09--4.19 (Free PSA 24%),  after 45 days on cipro! DREs have always been normal. PCA-3 was about 75 (way above the 35 threshold). That led to:

Biopsy on 11/30/09. 5 out of 12 cores positive. Gleason 4+3. 2 cores were 3+3 (one 5% and the other 30%) on one side. On  other side:2 cores are 4+3 (5%)--1 core 3+4 (30%) no peri-neural invasion. prostate is 45 grams. Stage: T1C.  

Surgery with Dr. Menon at Ford Hospital, 1/26/10. He says all looked good. Spared nerves. Unfortunately: Pathology Report: G 4+3 (65%-35%). Cancer in 15% of gland. Lymph Nodes: Clear.  Perineural Invasion: yes. Seminal Vessical Involvement: No.  Extraprostatic Extension: yes.  Positive Margin: Yes-- focal-- 1 spot .5mm. Final Weight is 52.7 gms.  (Second opinion from Jon Epstein at Hopkins confirmed these results)

 Incontinence: joined that club-- definite leaks—1 pad/day. Night is dry, was  using 1 pad at night for security, but pretty much dispensed with that most nights. Update: no pads at night. No pads while at home, but still very uncomfortable. Use 1 pad for out-of-house activities. Suddenly got MUCH better on 3/10/10, almost overnight. Still some urgency but no pads about 90% of the time.  As of 3/12/10--completely continent! Uh...OH. As of about 3/16/10 problems with constant urgency although no pads needed--feels like an infection but none showing in urine.

First post-op PSA on 3/10/10--DRUM ROLL: 0.01 Next PSA in mid-June.


Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/10/2010 3:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Pattersson

Welcome to Healing Well. Looks like you've already hit the ground running. :-)

Jeff

Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/10/2010 4:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey

Why did the incontinent guy make his wife get a hearing aid.
Because she came home from the store with bag of pea pods.

J

Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/10/2010 4:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Quick! Somebody call the mods and have them ban me!
And for my fellow ED brothers:

Why did the guy take his girlfriend to Taco Bell?

He thought she said "Let's Try Mex".

Jeff

James C.
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4463
   Posted 4/10/2010 4:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Sadly, we can't ban anyone for just posting really bad jokes... smilewinkgrin
James C. Age 63
Gonna Make Myself A Better Man www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6cX61oNsRQ&feature=channel
4/07: PSA 7.6, Recheck after 4 weeks Cipro-6.7
7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% invloved, left lobe, GS3+3=6
9/07: Nerve Sparing open RRP, 110gms, Path Report- Stg. pT2c, 10 gms., margins clear
32 Months: PSA's .04 each test since surgery, ED continues: Bimix- .3ml PRN, Trimix- .15ml PRN


Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/10/2010 4:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Whew! I'm relieved. Like completely filling a Tena on a cold winter day.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/11/2010 1:03 PM (GMT -6)   
lol i dont hv this dd as um well im a gal but you guys are cracking me up
ty for the laughs

lyn
..Co Moderator for Crohns...Anxiety/Panic......Alzheimers

DX..Crohns,,,A/P...Fibro...Seizures..Neuropathy...Pyoderma Gangrenosum..Deaf

I Refuse To Give Up....Others Are Worse Off Than I Am

Donate to WWW.HealingWell.com
MEDS..Lyrica..Dilatin...Pentasa...Folic acid....Ativan..,Diazapam prn..Trazadone at HS..T 4s PRN

NEVER GIVEN UP NOR IN


Timm
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 83
   Posted 4/11/2010 3:41 PM (GMT -6)   
True Story
 
  Had a friend of mind, wheeled out on the stage at Standford University Med. Center, on a gurney, in front of 300 first year students.
 
Looking at the doctor with a straight face and in a loud voice he says,   You guess it, is everyone going to give me the DRE.
 
  
                                                                         Tim
 
58 yrs
PSA. 6.58
gleason 7
8 of 12 pos. cores
robot 4/14

Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/11/2010 5:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Uh oh! As I sit here in diapers, I feel another one coming.....


Why was the patient happy with his HT?


Because he was a boob man.

Jeff

(I'm supposed to be doing income tax but I just can't resist. Mel, Thanks for the diversion.)

compiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7269
   Posted 4/11/2010 6:07 PM (GMT -6)   

I'VE CREATED A MONSTER.

 

MEL


63 years old . PSA-- 3/08--2.90; 8/09--4.01; 11/09--4.19 (Free PSA 24%),  after 45 days on cipro! DREs have always been normal. PCA-3 was about 75 (way above the 35 threshold). That led to:

Biopsy on 11/30/09. 5 out of 12 cores positive. Gleason 4+3. 2 cores were 3+3 (one 5% and the other 30%) on one side. On  other side:2 cores are 4+3 (5%)--1 core 3+4 (30%) no peri-neural invasion. prostate is 45 grams. Stage: T1C.  

Surgery with Dr. Menon at Ford Hospital, 1/26/10. He says all looked good. Spared nerves. Unfortunately: Pathology Report: G 4+3 (65%-35%). Cancer in 15% of gland. Lymph Nodes: Clear.  Perineural Invasion: yes. Seminal Vessical Involvement: No.  Extraprostatic Extension: yes.  Positive Margin: Yes-- focal-- 1 spot .5mm. Final Weight is 52.7 gms.  (Second opinion from Jon Epstein at Hopkins confirmed these results)

 Incontinence: joined that club-- definite leaks—1 pad/day. Night is dry, was  using 1 pad at night for security, but pretty much dispensed with that most nights. Update: no pads at night. No pads while at home, but still very uncomfortable. Use 1 pad for out-of-house activities. Suddenly got MUCH better on 3/10/10, almost overnight. Still some urgency but no pads about 90% of the time.  As of 3/12/10--completely continent! Uh...OH. As of about 3/16/10 problems with constant urgency although no pads needed--feels like an infection but none showing in urine.

First post-op PSA on 3/10/10--DRUM ROLL: 0.01 Next PSA in mid-June.


Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/11/2010 6:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Tallguy, Heavy Leaker, KW, and Rapids

I'm leaking at 300 ml per day. Should I go with a sling or AUS?

The answer of course: "It Depends."

J

My wife will make me sleep on the couch if I don't get back to the taxes.
She still won't let me sit on it after watching this Seinfeld episode: The Couch

compiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7269
   Posted 4/12/2010 7:19 AM (GMT -6)   

Why did the RP patient badly flunk his math test?

 

 

He wanted to join the ZERO Club

 

Mel (just can't leave things well enough alone!)


63 years old . PSA-- 3/08--2.90; 8/09--4.01; 11/09--4.19 (Free PSA 24%),  after 45 days on cipro! DREs have always been normal. PCA-3 was about 75 (way above the 35 threshold). That led to:

Biopsy on 11/30/09. 5 out of 12 cores positive. Gleason 4+3. 2 cores were 3+3 (one 5% and the other 30%) on one side. On  other side:2 cores are 4+3 (5%)--1 core 3+4 (30%) no peri-neural invasion. prostate is 45 grams. Stage: T1C.  

Surgery with Dr. Menon at Ford Hospital, 1/26/10. He says all looked good. Spared nerves. Unfortunately: Pathology Report: G 4+3 (65%-35%). Cancer in 15% of gland. Lymph Nodes: Clear.  Perineural Invasion: yes. Seminal Vessical Involvement: No.  Extraprostatic Extension: yes.  Positive Margin: Yes-- focal-- 1 spot .5mm. Final Weight is 52.7 gms.  (Second opinion from Jon Epstein at Hopkins confirmed these results)

 Incontinence: joined that club-- definite leaks—1 pad/day. Night is dry, was  using 1 pad at night for security, but pretty much dispensed with that most nights. Update: no pads at night. No pads while at home, but still very uncomfortable. Use 1 pad for out-of-house activities. Suddenly got MUCH better on 3/10/10, almost overnight. Still some urgency but no pads about 90% of the time.  As of 3/12/10--completely continent! Uh...OH. As of about 3/16/10 problems with constant urgency although no pads needed--feels like an infection but none showing in urine.

First post-op PSA on 3/10/10--DRUM ROLL: 0.01 Next PSA in mid-June.


Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/12/2010 7:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Mel,
That's the spirit! Surely there are others who can find humor in PCa, incontinence, and related treatments.

Hey!
What did the chief Shriner leave on the floor at the hospital?

The potentate's prostrated prostate.

Jeff

I'm still doing taxes. So far, I'm up to $11,500 in out of pocket medical expenses for 2009. A very expensive walnut, indeed.

Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/14/2010 2:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey,

I just heard that Kimberly Clarke bought out Maxwell House.


Their new ad campaign is: "Good to the last drip."

Taxes are done! Watch out!
J

Post Edited (Worried Guy) : 4/14/2010 6:07:05 PM (GMT-6)


Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 4/14/2010 2:27 PM (GMT -6)   
And this is from Steve in another post. I figured they could all be put together.
cocrgolfer said...

What does a "green" construction project and a post-prostatectomy dude have in common?

Neither uses any wood.
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