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Worried Guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3743
   Posted 4/13/2010 5:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Yesterday, I was doing the taxes and was forced to see all the income, expenses and receipts from last year. All the reminders were thrown in my face - the Dr visits, the Uro, pee pads, cushions, PT, hospital, mileage, labs. It was all there in a brown envelope labeled "Medical". I went through the credit card bills, and check books and picked up a couple more. It was quite a shock mentally, but manageable. The worst part was yet to come.
Since I have my own business I also must keep track of activities relating to projects. I keep a pocket notebook/planner that I carry everywhere and can record notes from the day. It is like a small diary and really helps with appointment and expenses.
I was going through it looking for trips, dinners and other expenses and noticed the little symbol I used to make whenever my wife and I made love. I got as far as April, when my PCa situation started, and lost it. I just started crying while sitting at the keyboard. The marks will never be the same and neither will I. I could see myself making the marks and what they meant. A year ago I had no idea of what was to happen. I began sobbing uncontrollably - filling both my head and my pee pad.
Tax time is trying enough but the memories it brings up are cruel indeed.

On the bright side, and you know me - there is always a bright if not irreverent side, when I got to the part about the GFMPH weekend in September my mood changed. I claimed all the expenses and mileage relating to it. We did discuss our businesses, and prostate health. We took minutes and have ample records of follow up discussions and emails relating to business. It didn't amount to much financially, but it reminded of the weekend. That broke the sobbing cycle and made me laugh. That was worth a lot. Thanks guys.


I'm OK now. The taxes are done but I always let them "cure" for 48 hours in case a rouge receipt shows up.
Married 34 years, DX Age 56. First routine PSA test on April 8, 09: 17.8. Start 2 weeks of Cipro to rule out protatitis. May '09 PSA: 22.6, 3 weeks later: PSA: 23.2.
Biopsy 6/10/09: 7/12 scores positive, 20%-70%, Gleason 6=3+3. Bone and C/T scans neg.
RP DaVinci -7/21/2009 @ Univ of Roch Medical Center
Left nerve gone, right partial spared.
Catheter removed - 7/31/2009 Pathology report received:
Gleason 3+4=7, Tumor size: 2.5 x 1.8 cm, location: both lobes and apex.
Extraprostatic extension present; Perineural invasion: present, extensive.
No Malignancy in Seminal Vesicle, vasa deferentia, lymph nodes 0/13
Prostate mass 56 grams. Pathologic Stage: pT3aN0MX
Post Surgery Status:
Potency - 12/11 5 months, Still no activity, zip. Using pump daily since 11/11. No effect with 20 mg of Cialis or 100 mg of Viagra. Shots next See Uro 1/22/10 Trimix #1. Try 0.08- 25%, 0.12-25%, 2/26/10 try 0.16 First Success! 90%.
Incontinence - 8/20 4 full pads per day
.. 9/7 3-4 full pads per day (Try cutting down on fluids. Bad idea. I know.)
12/11/09 5 months: 3 pads per day, 400-450ml/day
02/26/10 7 months: 3 pads but leak is now 320 ml (5 day avg.)
03/22/10 8 months: 3 pads per day, 280 ml/day (5 day avg.) PT says all muscles are tight and working properly. There must be another issue. Uro mtg 4/23. Did I waste 6 months?
Post Surgery PSA - 9/3 6 weeks - 0.05; 10/13 3 months - 0.04, 1/14 6 months - 0.05.

Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4849
   Posted 4/13/2010 7:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Another bright side for ya....Some of us single guys don't have a book let alone any marks in itsmhair  
I remember doing my taxes last year with all the medical. I had over $5,000.00 out of pocket from my weak insurance coverage. I think I got back maybe 200 to 300 extra when I claimed the medical...Was hoping for more assiatance.
Age 55   - 5'11"   215lbs
Overall Heath Condition - Good
PSA - July 2007 & Jan 2008 -> 1.3
Biopsy - 03/04/08 -> Gleason 6 
06/25/08 - Da Vinci robotic laparoscopy
05/14/09  - 4th Quarter PSA -> less then .01
11/20/09 - 18 Month PSA -> less then .01
Surgeon - Keith A. Waguespack, M.D.

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 4/13/2010 7:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Doing my taxes this year made me happy, got the biggest and only refund in the past 15 years or so. I do a lot of tax work for others, have for many years, I always sit on a return for at least a full day after completing it, to let it all sink in, and see if anything comes to the surface. Musst work because I have never ever had an audit, either personally or for a client.

David in SC
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incontinence:  1 Month     ED:  Non issue at any point post surgery, no problem post SRT
Post Surgery  PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out 38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped  9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - 11/27 IMRT SRT 39 sess/72 gys ,cath #8 33 days, Cath #9 35 days, 12/7 - Cath #10 43 days, 1/19 - Corr Surgery #4,  Caths #11 and #12  same time, 2/8-Cath #11 out - 21 days, 3/2- Cath #12 out - 41 days, 3/2- Corr Surgery #5, 3/6 Cath #13 out - 4 days, Cath #14 out - 27 days, Cath #15 - 3/29

Worried Guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3743
   Posted 4/13/2010 10:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Steve,
And I thought it was single guys who got all the action. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the prostate.

Hi David,
I found it was always better to let the tax forms "gel" rather than send them in immediately. As you clean up the papers and sleep on it, you think of other things to try. Like for example last night it hit me. What about the Incontinence clamp I bought from Goodlife! $56 medical.

Can I call the oxy-acetylene gas I used to blow up my overnight cath bag a bio-hazard material disposal charge? After all, it was a bio-hazard and I did dispose of it. I think it's on Jupiter now 'cause I didn't find a trace of it after the blast.

(Yep. I'm in a much better mood today.)

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 171
   Posted 4/13/2010 1:25 PM (GMT -6)   

You got the solid rocket propellant and you can start putting the little marks down again. That's good isn't it? And you have the desire. That's good, right? Tell you the truth, my trimix was ready yesterday and I haven't even bothered to go to Sarasota to get it, and it's not because I'm afraid of giving myself an injection. I think when they got my walnut they also got my libido....not only is it not the same, it isn't even close to the same.

BTW, what does a "green" construction project and a post-prostatectomy dude have in common?

Neither uses any wood.


Worried Guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3743
   Posted 4/13/2010 2:57 PM (GMT -6)   
I've got the propellant, rocket, and gantry all polished up and ready to go. The destination site is selected and surveyed and all mission funding is approved. I just have to pick the right time for mission lift off to achieve optimal orbital insertion. Post- taxes no doubt.

Those little marks in my notebook have been there since the beginning of our marriage. Yesterday, what struck me hardest was how innocent/naive/ignorant I was just one year ago. I didn't have a clue of what was coming, how I'd change, and what would be lost. How many other things in life are like that? I have been very fortunate to go through life this far and not have any serious life altering experiences. I'd been healthy forever.
So many others on this board face challenges that are much greater than the ones I have. I don't know why I broke down for those few minutes. Maybe it was the stress of having to do taxes for my business, my mother in law, my son, my nephew, my friend and his wife. Or, maybe it was the frustration of the third wet crotch of the day. Who knows? I just know I'm back. I don't have time for that stuff. (I do have time for HW though.) OK, Back to the taxes!
-- Just like the green project manager I'm using Turbotax so I'm also not using any wood either.--

April 16 is looking like a pretty darn good launch window.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 171
   Posted 4/13/2010 5:36 PM (GMT -6)   

I hear you about being blindsided. In my ignorance I guess I thought it would be like having a hernia repaired or something. Boy did I get that wrong. I really wish I had found HW BEFORE I had the robot treatment. At least I would have been more prepared psychologically. I thought I'd just waltz in there, waltz back out, maybe leak for a little while, and then everything would be dandy. They told me there was a 95% chance they would spare the nerves and I would be back in the game like before. Say what? Like you I had never been sick and the worst things were injuries from stupid stuff I did in my impetuous youth, mainly fighting, football, motorcycles, and skiing.

Tomorrow I'm going to Sarasota to get my propellant and will start a countdown. Thanks to the guys at HW I have a sane first dose in mind (0.3 ml), a web-site that explains how-to, and pseudoephedrine as a back-uo. Launch Director, over to you.

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