Emotional rant.

 

 I spoke to my dad on the phone tonight (he is on the opposite side of the country) and since he was diagnosed a bit over  month ago we had our first really long, emotional chat where dad talked openly about his cancer. I am still teary thinking about what he said and his courage that has - I have never admired him more.

He spoke about not being scared and that he didn't want anyone to worry or feel sorry for him - hence he has not told many people. He lives in a small country town where he is much loved and a fixture and I know that he would hate for anyone to view him as a victim. He amazes me so much how he keeps saying that there are people far worse off than he, and how happy and lucky he is in life.

I had to stifle tears when he spoke of his love for my mum and his kids and the only thing he is scared of is not being around for his grandchildren. His insurance money was also approved today and he was so happy because my mum will now be ok financially if anything happens.

I know the odds are in his favour - but god it hurts thinking that this amazing man has to fight this awful disease and that he may not be around to be an old man with grey hair and family making fun of his jokes.

Sorry that this is so soppy....darn pregnancy hormones :)

 

Kylie

Good to be able to phone.

It's fine to get emotional here. (That was hardly a rant, you should scour the posts for some real rants when you have time - no don't bother you've got so many positive things to do at present. Is your "bump" big enough for your dad to admire?)

If you're flying East I hope you don't encounter any volcanoes - Northern Europe is still a mess with this Icelandic Ash.

I can understand why your dad is holding back, but guys in small towns get cancer too and he might find support in unexpected quarters. Something like one in six men get prostate cancer, so it'd have to be a really small town for him to be the only one in town.

My daughter's coming home for a couple of nights today so I can enjoy being a dad.

Alf

Kmac, all I got is just a big hug for you and the hope that your Dad's journey is an easy one. The others have said all I could say...

There are 2 battles with PC. The obvious physical battle, and the emotional battle.

Your dad sound like he has already come out a winner on the emotional side. I too felt I sdidn't want to tell anyone. When I meet people on the street, or at the store, or in church, I don't want that Oh, how are you ? in that lilting voice that says how long do you have ?

We all must come to a point where it can't scare us. We must be at peace with whatever comes. Then, we are in control again, which most men need.

The physical side is kind of up to time, doctors, chance, etc. You certainly know that he won't doie next week or next month of PC, even if he has a very bad case. He has many years ahead. So keep on making those grandbabies, and he will be around for quite a while to see them.

Good luck, and thanks for joinig us. We do care about you and your dad.

kmac,

that was not a rant, not by any streatch of the word. it was a heart felt emotional release. we have several loving daughters looking out for the dads here at HW, and all of us men get real fond of seeing that. glad that you and your dad have that kind of openess to talk about something this tough in such an emotionally felt way. that's a good thing.

when i get down on myself with my own battle, and the setbacks that keep plaging me, i just start thinking about all the people in my life that really do love and care about me, and how much i have a vested interest in their lives.

like i tell people as i have aged, and have fought cancer(s), not afraid to die, when its my time, its will be my time, i am just not in any hurry to go to the check out line.

with support like yours, your dear dad will do just fine. i hope only good things for the two of you, and the rest of your family.

david in SC

  Kmac, I have had the privilege of sponsoring an Australian Exchange student in my home for 6 months and have spent a grand total of one month in Australia doing business in Queensland.   I consider the Australians I have met to be very special friends and since you are in distress I have to offer what hope I can.    Until we see what you fathers stats are we cannot be specific in answering your multiple questions but be assured that there is light at the end of the tunnel.   Every person who gets prostate cancer reacts differently, but there are guidelines and you need to research all the information you can find.   I have Gleason 7 and it is pretty average.   After surgery, I have been cancer free for 22 months and I strongly believe I will be able to say that 10 years from now.   Your dad will live to see your unborn child grow into a loving grandchild.   You will be with your father in trials that you would rather not be included in but there will be a positive outcome.   Right now you need to arm yourself with information and talk to your specialists.   Care for your father, but most important right now is your unborn child.   Take a deep breath and monitor this web site.   The information you get will be priceless.     I never have spent much time in NSW but I absolutely love Sidney.   Best wishes to you and your father. age 61 at diagnosis PSA Jan 2006 2.8, PSA Jan 2007 3.7, PSA Jan 2008 4.4 DRE Normal, Biopsy positive 1 core in 10, Clinical T1C, Pre surgery Gleason 3+4=7 Bone scan Normal, Cat Scan Normal da Vinci robotic Surgery April 30, 2008, Fremont Nebraska Post surgery Gleason 3+4=7, Pathological P2C Lymph nodes clear, Margins clear Hospital stay 2-days, Catheter out 10 days 1-pad a day for 3 weeks Back at work 7-days after surgery, desk job Both Nerves spared Post 3 month PSA-undetectable, Post 9 month PSA-undetectable, Post 15 month PSA-undetectable, 22 month PSA-Undetectable

Kmac,
That is hardly what I would call a rant. Although it is difficult I would put your worries aside. You have far more important things to concentrate one. When each of us receives the diagnosis...... cancer...... we all think "that's it......I'm done for shortly. Although this does happen it is not the usual course of events and even more so with prostate cancer. It is estimated that up to half of all men have prostate cancer to some degree or another and the vast majority do not and will never know that have it. It just seems to be a somewhat natural degenerative progression in the male. I have heard it said that all men will get prostate cancer.......it is just a matter of time. In some it may pop up at 40 in others they would have to live to 150 before it raised its head. If he has been watching his PSA for the past 7 years it would be safe to assume that the latest increase triggered a biopsy. I would also assume that his PSA would not have been particularly high given that it was being monitored. All this stands him in good stead of of a very early diagnosis. It may come to pass that he may even elect not to have any treatment but watch his PSA closely...... there are many that take that path, even with a Gleason (3+4=7). If he chooses to have treatment there is a number of methods that would be available to him. So chin up, concentrate on the impending new arrival for he/she shall have their grandfather around for a long time. Read a few of the Gleason 7 stories in the link to on YANANOW below and I am sure you will be more at rest. I am located about 100 klms south of Sydney so welcome to NSW when you get here.

www.yananow.net/Chart-Gleason7.htm#7

Bill