"It is what it is" Daughters

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 5/1/2010 10:29 PM (GMT -6)   
My daughter (almost 21) came to visit me today, she has a new boyfriend and wanted me and her stepmom to meet him. My birthday is on the 5th and she had an early present for me. I have mixed feelings about the present. There is a long story about our relationship, I divorced her mother 7 years ago, was the bad guy, although really the good guy all the way. In the last few years she has figured it all out and dad is really an ok guy. I told her about my tests the day before the results of the biopsy, (only one day to worry and I would not technically be keeping anything from her). She was upset and very concerned as I expected, I told her, honey, "It Is What It Is" I will deal with it and life will go on, I promissed to be around for a long time. The next day I was happy to give her the results of a negative biopsy. She said but dad, the numbers are the numbers, I said yes they are. I will undergo regular testing and deal with things if and when they progress but for now I do not have a cancer diagnosis. 
So, the birthday present....I am a little (ok alot) against tatoo's, especially for young people. Today she showed me a tatoo that she got on Monday. On the side of her foot it says "it is what it is" with a four leaf clover. She says she remembered what I said and wants to think of me every day when she puts her socks on. I was so shocked about the tatoo that I don't think I fully appreciated the effort. We are meeting on Wednesday for lunch, I need to express my feelings better. 
p.s.  The new boyfriend seems ok too, jury is still out, Its a dad thing.
47 Year old male, smoker, healthy
Routine physical May 12, 2009, PSA 4.12
Follow up PSA October 27, 2009, PSA 4.61 / Free PSA 4% (Not good)
Referral to Urologist Feb 18, 2010
Follow up PSA January 7, 2010, PSA 3.95, Free PSA 4% (still not good)
Biopsy March 16th, 2010, 8 core samples taken, Results April 5, 2010
Results - very small prostate, DRE normal, all core samples negative, follow up PSA July, results Aug 2nd 2010

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1732
   Posted 5/1/2010 11:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Sounds like she thinks of you as a source of strength and knows that no matter what, thanks to your love and your wisdom, she can deal with whatever life brings.  
 Hilarem datorum diligit Deus

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2845
   Posted 5/2/2010 5:45 AM (GMT -6)   
I echo swimom's comments
- you've got a good daughter there.... and she has a good dad -
-here's to taking care of your health and having many many years of happiness... and erasing those missing 7 years...
Age: 54 - gay - with common-law spouse of 13 years, Steve - 60
PSA: 04/2007- 1.68 - 08/2009 - 3.46 - 10/2009 - 3.86
Confirmation of Prostate Cancer: October 16, 2009 - 6 of 12 cancerous samples , Gleason 7 (4+3)
Doctor: Dr. Mohamed Elharram -Urologist / Surgeon - Peterborough Regional Health Centre
Radical Prostatectomy Operation: November 18, 2009 , home - November 21, 2009
Post Surgery Biopsy: pT3a- gleason 7 - extraprostatic extension - perineural invasion - prostate weight - 34.1gm -
ED Prescription: Jan 8/2010 - started daily 5mg cialis - girth back to normal -but not much length - will go for trimix in April when I see doc
Incontinence: Feb 2010- 3-5 pads/1-2 clothes changes/day- March 3, 2010 - week 14 after surgery -finally seeing improvement - March 29- incontinence better - 1-2 pads a day - one pad at night
location: Peteborough, Ontario, Canada
Post Surgery-PSA: - April 8, 2010 - 0.05 - I am in the ZERO CLUB - hooorah!
Next PSA - October 8, 2010 - TBA -

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 83
   Posted 5/2/2010 5:46 AM (GMT -6)   
I would take it as a compliment and leave it there. The younger folks do Tattoos. It's just a thing they do. They do not attach the baggage that we do to it. Feel honored!
Dx age 62 - March 2009 - Gleason 7
Surgery - da-vinci RP on April 29, 2009 Gleason upgraded to 9
Started VEGAN diet June 2009
3 month PSA - <.04
6 month PSA <.04
9 month PSA .05
12 Month PSA  .16

Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4835
   Posted 5/2/2010 6:10 AM (GMT -6)   
And it's on her foot and she covers it with socks.
On her forehead would require you to beat it off of her shocked
Age 55   - 5'11"   215lbs
Overall Heath Condition - Good
PSA - July 2007 & Jan 2008 -> 1.3
Biopsy - 03/04/08 -> Gleason 6 
06/25/08 - Da Vinci robotic laparoscopy
05/14/09  - 4th Quarter PSA -> less then .01
11/20/09 - 18 Month PSA -> less then .01
Surgeon - Keith A. Waguespack, M.D.

Cajun Jeff
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4110
   Posted 5/2/2010 6:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Greg: What a story. Sounds like she has it figured out and I think dad does also. Nice story. I do understand your thought on the tatoo it is the sign of the times.

Cajun Jeff
9/08 PSA 5.4 referred to Urologist
9/08 Biopsy: GS 3+4=7 1 positive core in 12 1 pre cancer core
10/08 Nerve-Sparing open radical
Surgery Path Report Downgrade 3+3=6 GS Stage pT2c margins clear

3 month: PSA <0.1
6 month: PSA <0.1
10 month:PSA <0.1
1 year: PSA <0.1
16 month:PSA <0.1

ED - Started Cialis at 3 months, tried all 3, 6 months added pump, 9 months Tried MUSE (YUCK) Bad experience.
1 year mark Found new Urologist visit was at 14th month post surgery
Started Injections, Caverject! (Success)
17 month: ED making improvements : Oral Meds gets me 85%

Worried Guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3734
   Posted 5/2/2010 6:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Greg.
You may not agree with it but, "It is what it is."
She sounds like she get's it and so do you.
Good luck to both of you.
Married 34 years, DX Age 56. First routine PSA test on April 8, 09: 17.8. Start 2 weeks of Cipro to rule out protatitis. May '09 PSA: 22.6, 3 weeks later: PSA: 23.2.
Biopsy 6/10/09: 7/12 scores positive, 20%-70%, Gleason 6=3+3. Bone and C/T scans neg.
RP DaVinci -7/21/2009 @ Univ of Roch Medical Center
Left nerve gone, right partial spared.
Catheter removed - 7/31/2009 Pathology report received:
Gleason 3+4=7, Tumor size: 2.5 x 1.8 cm, location: both lobes and apex.
Extraprostatic extension present; Perineural invasion: present, extensive.
No Malignancy in Seminal Vesicle, vasa deferentia, lymph nodes 0/13
Prostate mass 56 grams. Pathologic Stage: pT3aN0MX
Post Surgery Status:
Potency - 12/11 5 months, Still no activity, zip. Using pump daily since 11/11. No effect with 20 mg of Cialis or 100 mg of Viagra. Shots next See Uro 1/22/10 Trimix #1. Try 0.08- 25%, 0.12-25%, 2/26/10 try 0.16 First Success! 90%.
Incontinence - 8/20 4 full pads per day
.. 9/7 3-4 full pads per day. Try controlling fluids.
12/11/09 5 months: 3 pads per day, 400-450ml/day
02/26/10 7 months: 3 pads but leak is now 320 ml (5 day avg.)
03/22/10 8 months: 3 pads per day, 280 ml/day (5 day avg.) PT says all muscles are tight and working properly. There must be another issue. Uro mtg 4/23. Did I waste 9 months? Mtg 5/22.
Post Surgery PSA - 9/3 6 weeks - 0.05; 10/13 3 months - 0.04, 1/14 6 months - 0.05, 4/14 9 months - 0.04 and <0.01 with ECLIA.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2229
   Posted 5/2/2010 8:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Nothing like a relationship that is so important finding healing, even if it means a tattoo. She could have put it on her cleavage, so fell blessed as the message is really about you and your importance to her.
Dx with PCA 12/08 2 out of 12 cores positive 4.5 psa
59 yo when diagnosed, 61 yo 2010
Robotic surgery 5/09 Atlanta, Ga
Catheter out after 10 days
Gleason upgraded to 3+5, volume less than 10%
2 pads per day, 1 depends but getting better,
 started ED tx 7/17, slow go
Post op dx of neuropathy
T2C left lateral and left posterior margins involved
3 months psa.01, 6 month psa.4, 6 1/2 month psa.5
Starting IMRT on 1/18/10, Completed 39 tx at 72 gys on 3/12/10
Great family and friends

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 58
   Posted 5/2/2010 9:27 AM (GMT -6)   
As a daughter I know that your daughter is probably just trying to get head around it all and has found a new level of love and appreciation for her dad. Sometimes we just don't know what to say and want to show you strength and not upset you by having you see us cry.
I am a 'young one' not a fan of tattoos but I can say that I'm sure she put a lot a thought in using your words to gain strength and be with you in your journey.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 5/2/2010 7:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all for all your comments and opinions, I have thought alot about it  today, I agree, she is one special daughter, she will get an extra hug on Wednesday! Greg

47 Year old male, smoker, healthy
Routine physical May 12, 2009, PSA 4.12
Follow up PSA October 27, 2009, PSA 4.61 / Free PSA 4% (Not good)
Referral to Urologist Feb 18, 2010
Follow up PSA January 7, 2010, PSA 3.95, Free PSA 4% (still not good)
Biopsy March 16th, 2010, 8 core samples taken, Results April 5, 2010
Results - very small prostate, DRE normal, all core samples negative, follow up PSA July, results Aug 2nd 2010

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 281
   Posted 5/2/2010 7:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Greg, your daughter sounds like a great person. You are lucky to have an understanding kid like that. As far as the tattoo goes, I got one on my forearm three years ago at age 70. It is just a simple one showing that I am a 25 year cancer survivor (clear cell sarcoma). For years I kept telling myself that if I can make it to the 25 year survivor mark, I'd get myself a little tattoo to commemorate the occasion. I have received many great complements and congratulations from a lot of folks and most were older folks at that.
Bob, down in Southern Colorado

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2691
   Posted 5/2/2010 9:12 PM (GMT -6)   
And somehow, life goes on. Negeative biopsy, tatoo on the anke. It really Is what it is.

Glad to hear you say that you are keeping an eye on this thing. If PSA continues to rise, further testing may be in order to find the source, such as Color Doppler.

Welcome to HW.
Age 58, PSA 4.47 Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic  4/14/09   Nerves spared, but carved up a little.
0/23 lymph nodes involved  pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks .
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Living the Good Life, cancer free  6 week PSA  <.03
3 month PSA <.01 (different lab)
5 month PSA <.03 (undetectable)
6 Month PSA <.01
1 pad a day, no progress on ED.  Trimix injection
No pads, 1/1/10,  9 month PSA < .01
1 year psa (364 days) .01

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