Surgery in two weeks..

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Kmac
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 58
   Posted 5/3/2010 8:36 AM (GMT -6)   
My dad is booked in for the robotic prostatectomy in two weeks today.
I spoke to him on the phone tonight and he was not his usual upbeat self - not that he spoke about his situation, but I could tell that there was a sadness in his voice. I know that he must be getting nervous thinking about the upcoming surgery. He also has to have the pre surgery blood tests this week so I guess that is making it all seem very real. In the meantime he is still working hard trying to sow crops on the farm and keep the latest grasshopper plague at bay....
 
I will be flying over to Melbourne for the surgery, but in the meantime was wondering how you all were feeling in the weeks/days before surgery and if there is anything I can do for him. I haven't seen him since xmas, have spent the last 10 yrs living on the other side of the country or other side of the world and now I want to be there for him and the rest of my family as much as I can.
 
 

Sephie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1804
   Posted 5/3/2010 8:40 AM (GMT -6)   
K, I think that the weeks waiting for surgery - any surgery - is a scary time. Likely your dad is worrying about how long he'll be "out of commission" - this is no doubt especially important to him as a farmer.

It's good that you want to be there for him - that is probably just what he needs right now.

Personally, the time leading up to my husband's surgery was harder on me than on him. Even the day of the surgery, I was a nervous wreck - he was just hungry and cranky from not eating. Once the doc gave him a sedative, everything calmed down - I continued to be a wreck but at least I knew that John wasn't scared.

Let us know how things are going for you and your family.
Husband diagnosed in 2/2008 at age 57 with stage T1c. Robotic surgery performed 3/2008. Stage upgraded to T3a (solitary focus of extraprostatic extension). Perineural tumor infiltration present. Apex margin, bladder neck and SVs negative. Final Gleason 3+4. PSA: 0.0 til July 2009. August 2009 - 0.1, September 0.3, October back to 0.0, December 0.0, March 2010 0.0. Next PSA in 6 months. Thank you God!


Doting Daughter
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1064
   Posted 5/3/2010 8:54 AM (GMT -6)   
I think the anticipation can be far worse than the actual surgery itself. Similar to Sephie, my mom was a nervous wreck the day of surgery. She just couldn't wait for my dad to be out of there. I was actually anxious for the surgery, because I just wanted the cancer to be gone. My dad was a little uptight and overwhelmed-rightfully so. There is so much information to take in and digest, but following surgery my dad was out trimming my roses a couple of days after he was released. (Not that I recommend :) I guess what I am trying to say, is that everyone feels so different, and it is nice once the healing can begin. I think every emotion is "normal" and I think your parents will be so touched to have you there! Good luck and keep us posted!!
Father's Age DX 62 (now 64)
Original Gleason 3+4=7, Post-Op Gleason- 4+3=7,
DaVinci Surgery Aug 31, 2007
Focally Positive Right Margin, One positive node. T3a N1 M0.
Bone Scan/CT Negative (Sept. 10, 2007)
Oct. 17 PSA 0.07
Nov. 13 PSA 0.05
Casodex adm. Nov 07, Lupron beg. Dec 03, 2007 2 yrs
Radiation March 03-April 22, 2008- 8 weeks 5x a week
July 2, 08 PSA <.02
Oct. 10, 08 PSA <.02
Oct. 9, 09 PSA <.01 Last Lupron Shot
Praying for a cured dad.

Co-Moderator Prostate Cancer Forum


Sleepless09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 1267
   Posted 5/3/2010 8:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kmac, yes, in the days before surgery it starts to become more real. While it is easy enough to believe the doctors are right, you do have prostate cancer, it's not as if your life after the diagnosis is any different than it was before. It's like someone telling you you have a green spot in the middle of your back where you can't see it. However, when it comes time to get the green spot cut out --- now, that's getting real at a whole new level of real.

I was lucky to have both my wife, and my sister, herself a cancer survivor, with me as I headed to the hospital. They radiated confidence that all would be well ("in a couple of years this will just be a blip in your life," my sister said) and a sense of joy and excitement that I was getting treated. Wheeeee! I picked up on their positive vibes and after living through some of the worst weeks of my life worrying about cancer I rode in the taxi to the hospital confident, happy, and relaxed.

My surgeon was also very good in a pre-op conversation. He didn't gloss over the possibilities of bad pathology, or losing nerves, etc., but he gave me total confidence the surgery would go well and I'd be fine. "The real danger is driving to the hospital --- once you're in my OR you've never been safer!"

You can tell your dad he's got a cheering section in Canada.

Please, do write and keep us posted.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless
Age 67 in Apil '09 at news of 4 of 12 cores positive T2B and Gleason 3 + 3 and 5% to 25% PSA 1.5
Re-read of slides in June said Gleason 3 + 4 same four cores 5% to 15%
June 29 daVinci prostatectomy, Dr. Eric Estey, at Royal Alexandra Hospital Edmonton one night stay
From "knock out" to wake up in recovery less than two hours.  Actual surgery 70 minutes
Flew home to Winnipeg on July 3 after 5 nights in Ramada Inn  ---  perfect recovery spot!
Catheter out July 9
Final pathology is 3 + 4 Gleason 7, clear margins, clear nodes, T2C, sugeron says report is "excellent"
 
Oct 1st 09 -- dry at night, during day some stress issues.
Oct 31st padless 24/7 
 
First post op PSA Sept 09  less than 0.02
PSA on Oct 23 test again less than 0.02
PSA on Jan 8 less than 0.02
PSA on April 9 less than 0.02 
 
  


daveshan
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 5/3/2010 9:29 AM (GMT -6)   
For me it was fear of the unknown.

There are so many directions the after surgery path can take, my mind kept going down the dark ones. My wife was supportive and tried to keep me upbeat by reminding me that whatever came we would get through it. Our motto was "prepare for the worst, hope for the best"

Best of luck to your dad.
Dave
Diagnosed 12-09 age 55
07-06 PSA 2.5
01-08 PSA 5.5 (PCP did not tell me of increase or schedule follow-up!!!!)
09-09 PSA 6.5 Sent for consult with Urologist
11-09 Consult, scheduled for biopsy, found out about PSA from '08 (yes I was pissed)
12-09 Biopsy, initial Gleason 9 (4+5) later reduced to 8 with tertiary 5, ain't much but I'll take it.
01-10 Bone Scan, "appears negative"
03-01-10 RRP in Durango CO by Dr Sejal Quale and Shandra Wilson, no naked eye evidence of spread, Vesicles and lymph nodes taken for microscopic exam.

03-16-10 Removal of cath' and pathology results of samples.
Multifocal carcinoma with areas of Gleason pattern 3, 4 and 5, Overall Gleason grade 4+4 with tertiary 5, Bilateral involving 21% of left lobe, 3% of right lobe, Invasion of left Seminal vesicle, 9 lymph nodes removed all negative, Tumor staging pT3b NO MX

04-23-10 PSA <0.04


Kmac
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 58
   Posted 5/3/2010 11:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone :) Just having a bit of a moment tonight, getting ready to fly back and a million other things.

Kmac
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 58
   Posted 5/3/2010 11:17 AM (GMT -6)   
and the cat just jumped on the keyboard and cut me off!! :)

I am confident that dad has chosen the right path treatment wise, and his surgeon has a great reputation and has been honest and personable with dad which is important for him.

Definitely the fear of the unknown after the surgery is the hardest - more test results, restaging, possible further treatment and lifestyle changes. I will post all of the stats on here and get your help in interpreting them. Taking one step in the challenge of this disease seems to be the way to go and not looking ahead too much.

Mum and dad don't want to worry me and told me tonight that I don't need to be there (worried about my pregnancy) but I need to be there just as much for them as for me which probably sounds a bit selfish, but they will be travelling 7 hrs to get to Melbourne and the least I can do is be there so they are not alone.

Sleepless09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 1267
   Posted 5/3/2010 12:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Kmac, love and family is defined, in part, by the fact you need to be there as much for yourself as for them. Not selfish at all. Selfish is when your needs override other's needs. That's totally NOT the case here. Your needs, and their's, are in sync.

One of the great gifts you will give your dad is that he can be supportive of you. That's what dad's do.

Keep us posted.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless
Age 67 in Apil '09 at news of 4 of 12 cores positive T2B and Gleason 3 + 3 and 5% to 25% PSA 1.5
Re-read of slides in June said Gleason 3 + 4 same four cores 5% to 15%
June 29 daVinci prostatectomy, Dr. Eric Estey, at Royal Alexandra Hospital Edmonton one night stay
From "knock out" to wake up in recovery less than two hours.  Actual surgery 70 minutes
Flew home to Winnipeg on July 3 after 5 nights in Ramada Inn  ---  perfect recovery spot!
Catheter out July 9
Final pathology is 3 + 4 Gleason 7, clear margins, clear nodes, T2C, sugeron says report is "excellent"
 
Oct 1st 09 -- dry at night, during day some stress issues.
Oct 31st padless 24/7 
 
First post op PSA Sept 09  less than 0.02
PSA on Oct 23 test again less than 0.02
PSA on Jan 8 less than 0.02
PSA on April 9 less than 0.02 
 
  


142
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 7084
   Posted 5/3/2010 6:37 PM (GMT -6)   
K,
I would say that from the time I got the biopsy results until the day of surgery, I got no more than two hours of sleep a night. I just had to be so tired I fell over to stop. As well, I was trying to manage a fairly stressful time at work that didn't need the extra crisis.

My mom and sister came, my sister more to help my mom, I guess. She (my mom) was the most concerned of all.

Being by myself the weeks before left me with little to do except get ready, so I was probably over-prepared, which didn't make it any easier mentally.

I really needed the help, as the first two weeks I wasn't allowed (or able) to drive.

But then we don't like to admit we need help.

DaVinci 10/2009
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