I hope Serobigirl comes back, or sneaks back or just lurks reading but not posting.
This whole mess was all very confusing for me as I only saw the thread after all the controversial bits had been deleted etc.
It cannot be pleasant dealing with such a situation (meaning having a grumpy partner) and I believe that prevention is much simpler than cure, so I guess the thing for those at the beginning of the journey to be made aware of is that some parts of the journey, in fact many parts of the journey will not be great, and that perhaps the wiser course is to come to an understanding at the beginning about
how you will tackle any problems when they do occur. So that it's not just a case of the person with the PCa thinking:
"What will I do if I end up impotent/incontinent/angry/miserable?" But that we also consider the other angles:
"What will my partner/loved ones think and do if I end up impotent/incontinent/angry/miserable?"
And thus it is actually about
doing it together so the best question for both parties to ask is:
"How will WE deal with things like impotence/incontinece/anger/depression etc?"
It's all part of the "For Better for Worse" business, and luckily for me, thus far, my wife and I have been able to tackle all aspects of what I/she/we have been through without any great difficulty. But we both got ourselves ready beforehand, we both asked for and got information and read about
Be prepared. Which really means be prepared for things that you weren't prepared for too.
Hoping the "grumpy partner" feels better soon
All the best
Age at Dx 48 No Family history of Prostate Cancer
Married 25 years, and I cannot thank my wife enough for her support.
April 2009: PSA 8.6 DRE: negative. Tumour in 2 out of 12 cores. Gleason 3+3.
RALP (nerve-sparing) at AVL-NKI Hospital Amsterdam on 29th July 2009. Stay 1 night.
Partial erections on while catheter still in. Catheter out on 6th Aug 2009.
Dry at night after catheter came out
Post-op Gleason 3+4. Tumour mainly in left near neck of bladder.
Left Seminal Vesicle invaded, (=T3b!)
no perineraul invasion, no vascular invasion. clear margins,
Erection 100% on 15th Aug 2009, but lots of leaking
Stopped wearing pads on 21st Sept 2009
Pre-op style intercourse on 24th Oct 2009 !! No use of tablets, jabs, VED etc.
Nov 17th 2009 PSA = 0.1
Mar 17th 2010 PSA = 0.4!!! referred to radiation therapist
April 13th 2010 CT scan.
April 28th 2010 Started Radiation Therapy (66Gy - 33 sessions)
Post Edited (English Alf) : 5/15/2010 9:00:27 AM (GMT-6)