Ralph, you pose an excellent real life situation question. I have never been in your place, and wouldn't know how to respond being that I am still married to same woman for over 36 years. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife, I am sure her vacancy in your life is immense.
Being that I haven't been on a date since early 1974, you got me wondering just what I would do in your situation. Not even sure any more when sex would come up or into a new relationship. Not like any of us are young teenagers on the prowl.
I would think in an honest relationship, when the time was appropriate, the subject could be introduced in the open. Yes there would be risk of rejection, but if the new relationship had any true foundation of trust and love, all things would be possible. You would have to ask yourself a question. If you didn't have ED as a problem and you were dating a nice woman, and you found out at some point that due to some medical condition on her part, that she couldn't participate in what we call "normal" sex, how would you react? Would you still like her and want to be with her? Or would your own personal desire for sex be enough reason to break off the relationship? I think its a fair thing to think about.
Between having PC and dealing with the loss of your wife, you already have a lot of emotional matter on your plate, I wish you only the best solutions in the future..
David in SC
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incontinence: 1 Month ED: Non issue at any point post surgery, no problem post SRT
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, next one: July
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out 38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped 9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - 11/27 IMRT SRT 39 sess/72 gys ,cath #8 33 days, Cath #9 35 days, 12/7 - Cath #10 43 days, 1/19 - Corr Surgery #4, Caths #11 and #12 same time, 2/8-Cath #11 out - 21 days, 3/2- Cath #12 out - 41 days, 3/2- Corr Surgery #5, 3/6 Cath #13 out - 4 days, Cath #14- 27 days, Cath #15 - 26 days, Cath #16 - 31 days, 5/24 put in Cath #17