All men respond differently. Going into the big dance, many are confident, not too worried, and the same guy you've been married to for years.
When they come out, and maybe particularly when they come home, they may not be the same man who left. They have no prostate, they have a tube and bag hanging form a place things aren't supposed to hang. They have some pain and discomfort.
Most importantly, they are starting to realize that life has changed fairly dramatically for them, at least for a while. Some men just want to be left alone at this stage. They may already feel like less of a man, so all the hovering and mothering can be kind of like rubbing salt in a wound of a man who feeling a little bewildered, less manly, a little depressed, and sometimes, just wants to be left alone while he tries to sort it all out.
I guess what I am saying is that some preparation is great, but I have seen wives on here really hurt because they were pushed away. Don't be hurt by it, and try if you can to let your husband feel as tho he is in control. To many men, myself included, that is important. I needed to make decsions on what I needed. Even pre-surgery, and post surgery shopping trips by me with my spouse were important.
You certainly know your husband, and this may be a bunch of nonsense to you, but the emotional side of the surgery is harder sometimes to prepare for than any physical issues you may have every supply on hand to deal with.
Good luck on your surgery. This really can be a meaningful experience in your relationship. My wife and I are closer than we have ever been. There is more to love than the physical side of love.
Age 58, PSA 4.47 Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic 4/14/09 Nerves spared, but carved up a little.
0/23 lymph nodes involved pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks .
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Living the Good Life, cancer free 6 week PSA <.03
3 month PSA <.01 (different lab)
5 month PSA <.03 (undetectable)
6 Month PSA <.01
1 pad a day, no progress on ED. Trimix injection
No pads, 1/1/10, 9 month PSA < .01
1 year psa (364 days) .01
15 month PSA <.01