Funny thing happened on the way to ED

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tallguy
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 417
   Posted 7/31/2010 8:40 PM (GMT -6)   
For years my wonderful wife and I really enjoyed a regular roll in the sheets. Then came RP followed by ED and a leaky PP. Also the old libido plumented after RP.  Honestly, I would have to admit it started to wane a bit as I headed for my late 50s and early 60s. Bottom line is we are totally happy not having the old roll in the sheets since RP and the resulting ED. If anything our loving relationship has grown even stronger since all of this happened.
 
My wife always claimed to have a low sex drive although she was never one to deny me anything. On the other hand she rarely initiated anything either. But when it happened she would have three orgasms to my one. Just mentioning this to point out that she really did enjoy the "roll". Matter of fact, she would sometimes come back from playing tennis with a really aggressive woman and comment "she must have not have her switch hit lately"......like I have. Later she would admit that when we did not have sex she did not "miss it".
 
So why post this. Only to point out at least for me/us the whole issue of ED is not a big priority. Certainly we are all different but being able to communicate with your spouse and understand what is really important at this stage in life is a critical thing toward dealing with this ED issue that seems to plague all or us dealing with PC.
 
Would I feel different if this happened to me at age 40 or 50, probably so. Having said that I am not so sure once my wife and I really opened up and talked to each other about what is really important.....and.....to us it's more about our personal commitment to each other and the loving relationship we enjoy than that occasional roll in the hay. I think us guys often feel that if we can't get it up we are no longer a "real man" and our ego plumments. Again, we are all different but I now realize that there are many more ways to get real satisfaction out of life than sex. So do I go for a penil implant once my AUS is activated.....at this point I think not.
 
Just felt like I needed to say this to see if there are any others like you out there that feel the same way......is it all that critical to get Willie kick started again? Especially if it takes a bunch of pain, suffering and money to motivate him.
64 year old male in excellent physical condition.

PSA jumped 3 to 8 in one year

pt2b NO Mx with a Gleason score 3+3=6.

DaVinci RP, 7/23/08. Tumor type: Acinar

size 5.5 cm x 5.7 cm weight: 77 gm.

Incontinence & ED. Dry nights , no control during day.

FUDS and cystourethroscopy testing 10/09.

24 hr pad wt. 219gm. AUA sympton index 13/35=moderate

Virtue sling surgery 2/3/10 NYU med center

Appeared to help but gradually returned to pre surgery condition.

Back to 3-4 pads/day.

Latest PSA 4/1/10 negative.

AMS 800 artificial urinary sphincter implanted 7/8/10 at U of MI.

Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3734
   Posted 8/1/2010 12:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Well said. I am only at one year and am not willing to give up yet. Just knowing that I can do it with an injection of joy juice helps me sleep at night - even if I don't use it.
My biggest issue is the leaking. It puts a "damper" on everything.
Jeff
Married 34 years, DX Age 56. First routine PSA test on April 8, 09: 17.8. Start 2 weeks of Cipro to rule out protatitis. May '09 PSA: 22.6, 3 weeks later: PSA: 23.2.
Biopsy 6/10/09: 7/12 scores positive, 20%-70%, Gleason 3+4=7, 3+3=6. Bone and C/T scans neg.
RP DaVinci -7/21/2009 @ Univ of Roch Medical Center
Left nerve gone, right partial spared.
Catheter removed - 7/31/2009 Pathology report received:
Gleason 3+4=7, Tumor size: 2.5 x 1.8 cm, location: both lobes and apex.
Extraprostatic extension present; Perineural invasion: present, extensive.
No Malignancy in Seminal Vesicle, vasa deferentia, lymph nodes 0/13
Prostate mass 56 grams. Pathologic Stage: pT3aN0MX
Post Surgery Status:
Potency - 12/11 5 months, Still no activity, zip. Using pump daily since 11/11. No effect with 20 mg of Cialis or 100 mg of Viagra. Shots next See Uro 1/22/10 Trimix #1. Try 0.08- 25%, 0.12-25%, 2/26/10 try 0.16 First Success! 90%.
Incontinence - 8/20 4 full pads per day
.. 9/7 3-4 full pads per day. Try controlling fluids.
12/11/09 5 months: 3 pads per day, 400-450ml/day
02/26/10 7 months: 3 pads but leak is now 320 ml (5 day avg.)
03/22/10 8 months: 3 pads per day, 280 ml/day (5 day avg.) PT says all muscles are tight and working properly. "There must be another issue."
5/22/10 10 months: 2 pads per day, 190 ml/day Scope on June 15 "Short sphincter"
7/15/2010 one year: 2 pads per day. 140 ml/day, dry in bed.
Post Surgery PSA - 9/3 6 weeks - 0.05; 10/13 3 months - 0.04
1/14 6 months - 0.05 (Siemens Centaur)
4/14 9 months - 0.04 (Siemens Centaur) and <0.01 (Roche ECLIA).
7/12 1 year - 0.03 (Siemens Centaur, direct chemilum); <0.01 (Roche Cobas 601 ECLIA)

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 8/1/2010 12:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Wow,
Beautifully said. And I agree whole heartedly. I've said it before ~ if this disease never ends my life, it sure made it better. I mean that in every way. I sure have had a shift in priorities, but it's all good.

My wife has been just amazing through it all. I have no idea how to get through this without her.

Tony
Disease:
Advanced Prostate Cancer at age 44 (I am 48 now)
pT3b,N0,Mx (original PSA was 19.8) EPE, PM, SVI. Gleason 4+3=7

Treatments:
RALP ~ 2/17/2007 at the City of Hope near Los Angeles.
Adjuvant Radiation Therapy ~ IMRT Completed 8/07
Adjuvant Hormone Therapy ~ 28 months on Casodex and Lupron.

Status:
"I beat up this disease and took its lunch money! I am in remission."
I am currently not being treated, but I do have regular oncology visits.
I am the president of an UsTOO chapter in Las Vegas

Blog : www.caringbridge.org/visit/tonycrispino
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