Posted 7/31/2010 8:40 PM (GMT -6)
For years my wonderful wife and I really enjoyed a regular roll in the sheets. Then came RP followed by ED and a leaky PP. Also the old libido plumented after RP. Honestly, I would have to admit it started to wane a bit as I headed for my late 50s and early 60s. Bottom line is we are totally happy not having the old roll in the sheets since RP and the resulting ED. If anything our loving relationship has grown even stronger since all of this happened.
My wife always claimed to have a low sex drive although she was never one to deny me anything. On the other hand she rarely initiated anything either. But when it happened she would have three orgasms to my one. Just mentioning this to point out that she really did enjoy the "roll". Matter of fact, she would sometimes come back from playing tennis with a really aggressive woman and comment "she must have not have her switch hit lately"......like I have. Later she would admit that when we did not have sex she did not "miss it".
So why post this. Only to point out at least for me/us the whole issue of ED is not a big priority. Certainly we are all different but being able to communicate with your spouse and understand what is really important at this stage in life is a critical thing toward dealing with this ED issue that seems to plague all or us dealing with PC.
Would I feel different if this happened to me at age 40 or 50, probably so. Having said that I am not so sure once my wife and I really opened up and talked to each other about what is really important.....and.....to us it's more about our personal commitment to each other and the loving relationship we enjoy than that occasional roll in the hay. I think us guys often feel that if we can't get it up we are no longer a "real man" and our ego plumments. Again, we are all different but I now realize that there are many more ways to get real satisfaction out of life than sex. So do I go for a penil implant once my AUS is activated.....at this point I think not.
Just felt like I needed to say this to see if there are any others like you out there that feel the same way......is it all that critical to get Willie kick started again? Especially if it takes a bunch of pain, suffering and money to motivate him.
64 year old male in excellent physical condition.
PSA jumped 3 to 8 in one year
pt2b NO Mx with a Gleason score 3+3=6.
DaVinci RP, 7/23/08. Tumor type: Acinar
size 5.5 cm x 5.7 cm weight: 77 gm.
Incontinence & ED. Dry nights , no control during day.
FUDS and cystourethroscopy testing 10/09.
24 hr pad wt. 219gm. AUA sympton index 13/35=moderate
Virtue sling surgery 2/3/10 NYU med center
Appeared to help but gradually returned to pre surgery condition.
Back to 3-4 pads/day.
Latest PSA 4/1/10 negative.
AMS 800 artificial urinary sphincter implanted 7/8/10 at U of MI.