An, I have followed this thread with concern for you and your husband and I jump in now for two reasons. One is to wish you both all possible success. While he is dealing with two cancers it seems from the pathology reports that you can have some reasonable hope of a cure for each --- and, isn't cure the "C" word we cancer patients love to hear!
The second reason is your husband's golf. I don't think it's a Mars and Venus thing. I think it is a human response to major stress to revert, often in ways that seem to others unreasonable, to some icon of normality and hold to it fiercely. We have a very close friend (we have celebrated New Year's together for more than 50 years, I'm "Uncle" to her kids and she's "Aunt" to mine) who is in the midst of her second round of chemo after her ovarian cancer returned 12 months after surgery. She knows, we all know, her life is in peril and the chemo is not so much about
cure as stalling. One of the things that sustains her is keeping her life as normal as possible. Doing exactly what she's always done, and sometimes, such as when it comes to planting out the spring flowers at her cottage, it is only accomplished because of a bloody minded determination that to those of us wanting to help, or say, "let the gardner do it this year, for Heavens sake!" unreasonable. But, for her, it is a way of being in control and fighting the cancer by doing what she'd be doing if she didn't have cancer.
An, I suggest that your husband's single minded need to play golf has little, or nothing, to do with playing golf and everything to do with making a statement to himself, and to the cancer, that he's in control of his life and will NOT let the cancer dictate to him!
I'll be watching with interest for more news and be assured you'll both be in my prayers on the 20th.
Sheldon AKA Sleepless
Age 67 in Apil '09 at news of 4 of 12 cores positive T2B and Gleason 3 + 3 and 5% to 25% PSA 1.5
Re-read of slides in June said Gleason 3 + 4 same four cores 5% to 15%
June 29 daVinci prostatectomy, Dr. Eric Estey, at Royal Alexandra Hospital Edmonton one night stay
From "knock out" to wake up in recovery less than two hours. Actual surgery 70 minutes
Flew home to Winnipeg on July 3 after 5 nights in Ramada Inn --- perfect recovery spot!
Catheter out July 9
Final pathology is 3 + 4 Gleason 7, clear margins, clear nodes, T2C, sugeron says report is "excellent"
Oct 1st 09 -- dry at night, during day some stress issues.
Oct 31st padless 24/7
First post op PSA Sept 09 less than 0.02
PSA on Oct 23, 2009 less than 0.02
PSA on Jan 8, 2010 less than 0.02
PSA on April 9, 2010 less than 0.02
PSA on July 9, 2010 (one year) less than 0.02