Darnell Jones word humor time~doseage of fun for a change from realties

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 3149
   Posted 8/10/2010 7:11 AM (GMT -6)   
The words of day are....and let' use them in a sentence. yeah
Formaldehyde-    Mel went into see his uro-doc for his DRE test, the door was locked and the doc with glove and lube in hand ready...there be no place  for-Mel-da-hide. wink
Impotent-   Big Mike came into see his uro-doc dressed up in a nice suit for his first visit, the nurse asked why are you dressed so nicely today....lady if I am going to be impotent I want to look impotent. cool
July  (Ju-ly)-   Doc says to Mel on follow up xrays, your lungs are looking awfully black and you said you never smoked a day in your life?  Did you tell me the truth or did  Ju-ly??? nono
Urinalysis-    Mel came back for results on psa tests and ultrasounds, questioned the doc and said is this your-analysis (urinalysis) on me? redface
(ok I made up a couple of those...anybody else got a Darnell Jones word)?
No tatt2man it is not a drug induced posting, maybe since I am currently off all things(for little while), it is T level euphoria! These are older but stuck with me for years.

Steve n Dallas
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4848
   Posted 8/10/2010 7:41 AM (GMT -6)   
A young monk arrives at the monastery and is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. As he works away he realises that all of the monks are copying from copies and not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to point out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son” and goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, “We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!” His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, “What's wrong, father?” With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, “The word was, CELEBRATE!”

Worried Guy
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Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 8/10/2010 7:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh zufus!
I'll be working on it - while I am supposed to be working on a project.
Thanks, pal.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 3149
   Posted 8/10/2010 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Steve I liked it no monk-ien around, you could start a whole number of those based upon that premise. :-)

Jeff- I will await your words of wisdom, you know you started me going from the comic strip thing!!
Let me quote Marx-  I wouldn't join a club that would have me as a member (Groucho Marx)
Or we took pictures of the native girls they were undeveloped......but we are going back next year.   (Groucho  Marx)     Well....I don't want to harp on these....(LOL) :-)
Youth is wasted on the Young-(W.C. Fields)

Post Edited (zufus) : 8/10/2010 8:48:13 AM (GMT-6)

Worried Guy
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Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 8/10/2010 1:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Name a food PCa graduates just can't eat: crushed walnuts.

Why do women love PCa grads? They never make a mess.

They say PCa is hereditary. Must be. My grandson and I are both wearing diapers.

Wow. 9/10! It is so unfair. I finally get a good grades and they reverse the scale.

The Irish Uro just opend a new practice. He calls it "Cry 'O Surgery".

Why do they call it Orchiectomy? Because if they called it "Getting your balls cut off" no man would get in the car.

(I'd better get back to work before the Navy gives me a free Orchiectomy.)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 3149
   Posted 8/10/2010 2:23 PM (GMT -6)   
The Irish Uro gets a 9 or 10 from me....grey scale (lol) (I froze with laughter)
Orchiectomy- would that make the doc a lying sack, for naming it something else?
The PCa hereditary joke is good, but it 'depends' .

Letterman might have an opening on his show, who knows.
The famous Lou Rawls video with Damon Wayans for PCa DRE exam:
www.youtube.com/Watch?v=ZKBrfdMfsYw   (or google for it) smilewinkgrin
Youth is wasted on the Young-(W.C. Fields)

Post Edited (zufus) : 8/10/2010 1:27:50 PM (GMT-6)

Ed C. (Old67)
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2460
   Posted 8/10/2010 2:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Mr. Goldberg wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pileup on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently... but the fact is... your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'

Goldberg groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology to build you a new penis that will work as well as your old one did... maybe even better! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000.00 per inch.'

Goldberg perks up at this!! 'So,' the doctor says, 'It's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for nine inches, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in five inches this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'

He agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day and says, 'So, have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have,' says Mr. Goldberg.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'Yes, she has,' he says.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.

'We're getting granite counter tops.'
Age: 67 at Dx on 12/30/08
PSA 9/05 1.15; 8/06 1.45; 12/07 2.41; 8/08 3.9; 11/08 3.5 free PSA 11%
2 cores out of 12 were positive Gleason (4+4) and (4+5)
Negative CT scan and bone scan done on 1/16
Robotic surgery performed 2/9/09 Dr Fagin, Austin TX
Prostate weighed 57 grams size:5.2 x 5.0 x 4.9 cm
Posterior lateral lesions measuring 1.5 x 1.4 x 1.0 cm showing focal capsular penetration over a distance of 3mm in circumference.
Prostatic adenocarciroma accounts for approx. 10-20% of the hemisphere.
Gleason 4+4
both nerve bundles removed,
pT3a Nx Mx, Negative margins
seminal vesicles clean, lymph nodes: not dissected
continent after 5 months
2 months PSA test 4/7/09 result <0.1
5 months PSA test 7/9/09 result <0.1
8 months PSA test 10/9/09 result <0.1
11 months PSA test 1/21/10 result 0.004
14 months PSA test 4/19/10 result 0.005

Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4848
   Posted 8/10/2010 3:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Can't remember if I stole this from here and or posted it before...buts worth repeating:

My internal medicine doctor got me a referral to a urologist.

So I went yesterday. OMG, She's beautiful and unbelievably sexy!

She told me that I have to stop masturxxxxx.

I asked her why?

She said, "Because I am trying to examine you!"

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2845
   Posted 8/10/2010 7:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Zufus - no, I wasn't suggesting any mind altering drugs - just, there seemed a lightness in your approach - which was refreshing....
- looking forward to your review of the Dr. Scholz/Blum book - will expect the book to include a variety of cleansing approaches to the body.
-has chelation ever been mentioned as a means of cleansing cancer cells out of the body? - just wondering...
wishing you all the best.
Age: 54 - gay - with common-law spouse of 13 years, Steve - 60
PSA: 04/2007- 1.68 - 08/2009 - 3.46 - 10/2009 - 3.86
Confirmation of Prostate Cancer: October 16, 2009 - 6 of 12 cancerous samples , Gleason 7 (4+3)
Doctor: Dr. Mohamed Elharram -Urologist / Surgeon - Peterborough Regional Health Centre
Radical Prostatectomy Operation: November 18, 2009 , home - November 21, 2009
Post Surgery Biopsy: pT3a- gleason 7 - extraprostatic extension - perineural invasion - prostate weight - 34.1gm -
ED Prescription: Jan 8/2010 - started daily 5mg cialis - girth back to normal -but not much length - June/2010 -have trimix - tried it twice - Aug 2010 -just lacking motivation right now
Incontinence: Feb 2010- 3-5 pads/1-2 clothes changes/day- March 3, 2010 - week 14 after surgery -finally seeing improvement - March 29- incontinence better - 1-2 pads a day - one pad at night - May 25 - 1 pad during day - 1 pad at night for security (barely needed at all) - stress incontinence at work - lifting trees and shrubs - August 2010 - still at one pad for day and one for night - primarily for hygiene and security - still having good and bad days due to stress and what I have consumed.
location: Peteborough, Ontario, Canada
Post Surgery-PSA: - April 8, 2010 - 0.05 - I am in the ZERO CLUB - hooorah!
Next PSA - October 8, 2010 - TBA -

Worried Guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 8/10/2010 8:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Zufus.
9 or 10 Thanks It beats my Gleason score.
I took the Cancer.net booklet "Guide to Prostate Cancer" and flipped the pages to find material I could use.
I'll bet none of Letteman's writers use that for a source of inspiration.

It was a fun diversion. Don't worry, I took myself off the clock while I was doing it.

I need to work up something with "Don't tell my part, my Achy Brachy part." (Page 16)

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 8/10/2010 10:04 PM (GMT -6)   
zufus, i still haven't gotten any of the ones in your starting post. came back tonight and tried to figure them out, is there some secret code that only the few and priveliged know about? Puzzled in SC
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin

Incontinence: 1 Month ED: Non issue at any point post surgery, no problem post SRT
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16

Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06, next test 11/10
Latest: 7/9 cath #6 - 41 days, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 - 38 days, mapped 9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath, 10/5 - 11/27 IMRT SRT 39 sess/72 gys ,cath #8 33 days, Cath #9 35 days, Cath #10 43 days, 1/19 - Corr Surgery #4, Caths #11 and #12 ,Cath #11 - 21 days, Cath #12 - 41 days, 3/2- Corr Surgery #5, Cath #13 - 4 days, Cath #14- 27 days, Cath #15 - 26 days, Cath #16 - 31 days, Cath #17 - 39 days, 7/2 - Corr Surgery #6, Cath #18 - 13 days, Cath #19 - 17 days, Total Blockage, Cath # 20 - 7/19

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 3149
   Posted 8/11/2010 6:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Dave it is simplistic a play on words Formaldehyde= For-Mel-To-Hide
July- did Ju-ly (did you lie?) get it!

Darnell Jones is the master at these word of the day things and let's put it into a sentence, he is apparently a black guy, with fabulous sense of humor...it was put on the radio years ago for 1-2 years or so. The word of day with Darnell Jones. Being a Detroit area guy I got a little Motown in me and a speck of the hood in low doseage by proximity, even though I am way out in the northern burbs.

tatt2man- I didn't look up your cleanse you mentioned, but my brother did one mention by Hulga Clark and collected the stones and mentioned how heavy duty the cleanse was. A clean system, will improve you immunity system is the whole deal in nut shell. (walnut nut shell-lol).

Steve-n-dallas- I am stealing your joke, (Larry the cable guy)- 'that's funny right there, I don't care who you are')! He said it for me.
Youth is wasted on the Young-(W.C. Fields)

Post Edited (zufus) : 8/11/2010 7:26:18 AM (GMT-6)

Worried Guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3739
   Posted 8/11/2010 8:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Clearly the regional accent is important. Being a Northerner, I got those right away.
(No time for jokes today. I'd have to get back to work! Rats!)

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 8/16/2010 4:54 PM (GMT -6)   
My regular doc (female) told me she needed a urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample. So I gave her my underwear...
Sorry, I resurrected an oldie.
50 Yrs. old. DX Feb, 2010 w/6.6 PSA.
Biopsy 04-24-10, Gleason 3+3=6
4 of 5 cores left side inv. 4 of 6 rt side
RRP 06-07-10....
16 days post-op, catheter out.
Gleason upgraded to 3+4
No involvement of lymph nodes & seminal vesicle.
Totally continent @ 8 weeks post-op. (!!!)
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