Sonny, my dear friend, no shame ever in honest from the heart tears, and I don't care if we are suppose to tough a** dudes. We feel what we feel. Like you, my brothers and sisters here, and the most important part of my PC journey, outside of my immediate family and current medical team. This is all real to me, in every sense of the word.
I think you are taking the right steps, with the oncology rehab and talking to someone about
whats going on inside your head. No fouls, if anyting, extra bonus points for being pro-active to your number one fan: yourself.
I will be following your steps soon, brother. I will be undergoing the urinary diversion surgery, it doesn't matter to me if my PSA continues to move up after SRT or not, like you, I have used my two curative cards. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life: day by day, week by week, month by month, stuck in a true purgatory of pain and suffering and having so many limitations. My goal: to have the surgery, to allow proper recover and adjustment to the new way of peeing, and then, enter oncology rehab here locally. If I need "head" help, I wouldn't hesitate, but right now, despite all my woes, I feel I still have it under control 99% of the time.
You are setting a good example to any brother that has been through step one and step two without sucess. Like I said, I am following your lead in a sense, tired of being a victim and a perpetual patient. If I have only a few good years left, then I want them to be good years for me, my wife, and my kids/grandkids.
From the bottom of my heart, brother, I wish nothing but good things in your path ahead. We can support each other in this quest and direction in our journeys. The rest of it: rising PSAs, HT or no HT, that's another subject for another time and place. Don't forget, I have met you and Lynn in person, you are not just some bunch of words on a page to me, I will testify to anyone here, especially our new friends that don't know you well, that Sonny is the real thing, and I will certify that to anyone first hand.
If you need anything from me, another phone call, another visit, you name it, and as I am able to and well enough to help you, as the younger ones say, I got your back brother.
I better stop too, seem to have something in my eye. Bless you brother, for now and what lies ahead, for both you, and your sweet wife.
David in SC
58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.33rd Biopsy
: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3open RP:
11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09Path Rpt
: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marginIncontinence:
1 Month ED:
Non issue at any point post surgery, no problem post SRTPost Surgery PSA
: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16Post SRT PSA:
1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06, next test 11/10Latest:
7/9 cath #6 - 41 days, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 - 38 days, mapped 9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath, 10/5 - 11/27 IMRT SRT 39 sess/72 gys ,cath #8 33 days, Cath #9 35 days, Cath #10 43 days, 1/19 - Corr Surgery #4, Caths #11 and #12 ,Cath #11 - 21 days, Cath #12 - 41 days, 3/2- Corr Surgery #5, Cath #13 - 4 days, Cath #14- 27 days, Cath #15 - 26 days, Cath #16 - 31 days, Cath #17 - 39 days, 7/2 - Corr Surgery #6, Cath #18 - 13 days, Cath #19 - 17 days, Total Blockage, Cath # 20 - 7/19
Post Edited (Purgatory) : 8/11/2010 4:36:44 PM (GMT-6)