near death prostate cancer

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/1/2010 9:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi All,

My father was diagnosed with Stage IV prostate cancer 3 years ago. He had it removed and had been on medication ever since. Right now the cancer has spread into his bones and in other parts of his body. We had to send him to the hospital 3 weeks ago because he became very weak due to the cancer and diabetes. His bodily functions are starting to deteriorate. He is drinking out of a tube and is under several medications. He's unconcious for most of the time. There is another tube to help him pee because of the blood clotting. Last week the doctor said he could go home soon, but this week, they want him to stay longer.

How much time do we really have left? The doctor is not able to say anything concrete.

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 9/1/2010 9:56 PM (GMT -6)   
I am very sorry to hear this news about your father. I hope they are keeping his pain under control. Are they reccomending him to be in Hospice at this time? If not, it may be time to consider that, a good Hospice center is better equipped and staff to handle someone in his condition. No doctor can predict a person's final time with any accuracy. How old is your father?

I wish him, you, and your family all the best. Sorry you are in this situation, and I hope that peace comes to him soon.

David in SC
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marg
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06 11/10 ?
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, on Catheter #21, will be having Ileal Conduit Surgery in Sept.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 3893
   Posted 9/1/2010 10:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Nobody can tell you how much time...Those of us on this forum know nothing of your fathers "numbers"....If it's the cancer that's causing the symptoms, then probably not much longer.....

All I can do is echo David's thoughts to you and your family...
Age today: 68. Married, 6', 215 pounds, active, no health issues.
PSA at age 55: 3.5, DRE negative. Advice, "Keep an eye on it".
PSA at age 58: 4.5
PSA at age 61: 5.2
PSA at age 64: 7.5, DRE "Abnormal"
PSA at age 65: 8.5, DRE " normal", biopsy, 12 core, negative...
PSA at age 66 9.0 DRE "normal", BPH, Finesteride. (Proscar)
PSA at age 67 4.5 DRE "normal" second biopsy, negative.
PSA at age 67.5 5.6, DRE "normal" U-doc worried..
PSA at age 68, 7.0, third 12 core biopsy positive for cancer in 4 cores, 3 cores Gleason 6, one core Gleason 9. Finesteride discontinued, still no urinary symptoms, never had any..From age 55 to 65 I had no health insurance.

I have a date with the robo surgeon on Sept 3 but I'm keeping my options open. I'm also looking at seeds combined with IGRT which seems to be having good results with high-risk patients..

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 9/1/2010 10:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to our site. I am very sorry for the state of things. I am with the other two posters. May peace be with you, your family and your father. If you know any of his prostate specific data, perhaps someone could add something as to try. As far as telling how long someone will live, that's not really predictable.

We are here for you in any way we can be.

Advanced Prostate Cancer at age 44 (I am 48 now)
pT3b,N0,Mx (original PSA was 19.8) EPE, PM, SVI. Gleason 4+3=7

RALP ~ 2/17/2007 at the City of Hope near Los Angeles.
Adjuvant Radiation Therapy ~ IMRT Completed 8/07
Adjuvant Hormone Therapy ~ 28 months on Casodex and Lupron.

"I beat up this disease and took its lunch money! I am in remission."
I am currently not being treated, but I do have regular oncology visits.
I am the president of an UsTOO chapter in Las Vegas

Blog :

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2243
   Posted 9/2/2010 8:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Very sorry to hear that news and cant give you a time frame, nor can the Dr's. Enjoy what time he has left and may he find peace and rest when it is his time. Keep us posted, but be with him and your family during this difficult time.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 1100
   Posted 9/2/2010 1:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I am very sorry to hear about your father's condition. I would strongly urge you to get hospice involved . If you do not know how to find hospice, you can ask your hospital or just look in the telephone book. Hospice specializes in provding end-of-life care, pain relief and comfort, and assistance to care givers. For medicare patients, it is paid for by medicare. It can make a terrible time like this somewhat more bearable.
Age 46.  Father died of p ca. 
My psa starting age 40: 1.4, 1.3, 1.43, 1.74, 1.7, 1.5, 1.5

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/2/2010 2:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi all,

Thanks for your quick replies and support. He is 80 years old right now. He currently lives and is being treated in Asia. We don't live together, so unfortunately I don't have all his numbers. The only details I have is his recent PSA.

Nov 09: 6
Jan 10: 38
Mar 10: 65

Three weeks ago, he became very week, so had to take him to the hospital. I think some of it had to do with low sugar because of diabetes and cancer itself. At the hospital, he also had fever due to the diabetes. There were other issues too. I don't know how much of all this is related to cancer.

He has been in the hospital for 3 straight weeks now. This week, he is moving to hospice care within the hospital. I'm wondering how much time he has left because I want to go back to see him. I want to be there for his last days. But, at the same time, I can't take too much time off from work. So, trying to see when I need to go see him. Does he have days, weeks, or months left? Should I book a flight immediately? If I go in a few weeks, will it be too late?


Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 264
   Posted 9/2/2010 2:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Can you contact and speak to his doctors at the hospital in Asia? Seems like they would know better than anybody.

I lost my father to PCa so I can sympathize with what you are going through.


Post Edited (April6th) : 9/2/2010 1:10:40 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 966
   Posted 9/2/2010 2:18 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry hearing about your father. Hospice is wonderful and will provide him with all the comforts and provide him with any needed pain management.

From a personal experience, when my father entered hospice, I was in the same shoes you are in. Unfortuately, I didn't make the right decision and was not there on his passing. I tried to turn the tables when my mother was failing in January of this year...again unfortunately even though I left home within hours of hearing the news, she still passed away before I got there.

The decision of how long he has now, isn't really known, but have peace of mind knowing that if you are not able to spend time with him in his last days, at least know that he received the best of care from the hospice staff.

I know your decision is a difficult one, I can only say that based on what you have said so far, I doubt he would know you are there, so it only matters whether you feel you need to be there right now.

I wish you and yours the best in these most difficult times now and in the future.
You are beating back cancer, so hold your head up with dignity
Age 58 at Diagnosis
Oct 2006 - PSA 2.6 - DRE Normal
May 2008 - PSA 4.6 - DRE Normal / TRUS normal
July 2008 - Biopsy 4 of 12 Positive 5 - 30% Involved Bilateral w/PNI - Gleason (3+3)6 Stage T1C
Robotic Surgery Sept 18, 2008
Pathology October 1, 2008 - Gleason 7 (3+4) Staged pT2c NO MX - Gland 50 cc
Seminal Vesicles and Lymph Nodes clear
Positive Margins Right Posterior Lobe
PSA 5 week Oct 2008 <.05
                   3 month Jan 2009     .06
                   6 month Apr 2009     .06
                   9 month Jul  2009     .08
                 12 month Oct 2009     .09 
                 18 month April 2010   .19

Ed C. (Old67)
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2461
   Posted 9/2/2010 4:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Only God knows when the end comes. All you can do at this time is try to keep him as comfortable as possible without a lot of pain I wish you and your Dad the best.
Age: 67 at Dx on 12/30/08
PSA 9/05 1.15; 8/06 1.45; 12/07 2.41; 8/08 3.9; 11/08 3.5 free PSA 11%
2 cores out of 12 were positive Gleason (4+4) and (4+5)
Negative CT scan and bone scan done on 1/16
Robotic surgery performed 2/9/09 Dr Fagin, Austin TX
Prostate weighed 57 grams size:5.2 x 5.0 x 4.9 cm
Posterior lateral lesions measuring 1.5 x 1.4 x 1.0 cm showing focal capsular penetration over a distance of 3mm in circumference.
Prostatic adenocarciroma accounts for approx. 10-20% of the hemisphere.
Gleason 4+4
both nerve bundles removed,
pT3a Nx Mx, Negative margins
seminal vesicles clean, lymph nodes: not dissected
continent after 5 months
2 months PSA test 4/7/09 result <0.1
5 months PSA test 7/9/09 result <0.1
8 months PSA test 10/9/09 result <0.1
11 months PSA test 1/21/10 result 0.004
14 months PSA test 4/19/10 result 0.005

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1382
   Posted 9/2/2010 4:35 PM (GMT -6)   
I too would like to say I am sorry you are dealing with this. I wish there was more we could do. Please know we all care and hope that your dad is finding peace and comfort in his final days.

peace and love
My PSA at diagnosis was 16.3
age 47 (current)

My gleason score from prostate was 4+5=9 and from the lymph nodes (3 positive) was 4+4=8
I had 44 IMRT's
I was on Lupron, Casodex, and Avodart for two years with my last shot March 2009. I am currently (7-22-2010) not on any medication.
My Oncology hospital is The Cancer Treatment Center of America in Zion IL
PSA July of 2007 was 16.4
PSA May of 2008 was.11
PSA July 24th, 2008 is 0.04
PSA Dec 16th, 2008 is .016
PSA Mar 30th, 2009 is .02
PSA July 28th 2009 is .01
PSA OCt 15th 2009 is .11
PSA Jan 15th 2010 is .13
PSA April 16th of 2010 is .16
PSA July 22nd of 2010 is .71
Testosterone keeps rising, the current number is 156, up from 57 in May

T level dropped to 37 Mar 30th, 2009
cancer in 4 of 6 cores

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 7087
   Posted 9/2/2010 4:38 PM (GMT -6)   
I've been down this sort of road before, and as hard as it is, I believe that if we say our goodbys and leave each other in peace each time we see someone in this phase of their life, both will understand when the next time doesn't come.

Even if you had control, you would not want it.

I chose to go as soon as I could go, and was not able to return before the end. That gives you both a time to talk, or perhaps only that he will know you were there.

My sincere wishes to both of you.
My IGRT journey -

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 9/3/2010 10:07 AM (GMT -6)   
My very best wishes to you and your dad.
I would guess what your father wants more than anything is to stay connected with you and the rest of his family as much as possible.
I am going through a similar situation and I make a point every day to spend time with my children. I ask them about their lives ever evening after work and make a point of including them in my life as much as possible. I find something to laugh about every day. I make time to do something I enjoy every day.
I regret your father is not local to you but I hope you have a way of communicating with him (email etc). My guess is he waits to here from you every day in the same way I wait for my children to arrive home from work every evening. I tell them I love them every day and I am greatful for all the blessings that I have received over my lifetime. Your father may have a smiliar outlook on life at this point and my advice would be for you to be there for him in any way you can.
Age 47, 34 PSA GS 9 Prostate removed 2005
Hormone treatment 2005 till present.
Recurent cancerous tumor discover 3.5" and Stage IV 4/2010
Unsucessfully treated with chomo and radiation.
Clinical Trials to start 9/13/2010

James C.
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4463
   Posted 9/3/2010 11:32 AM (GMT -6)   
My Dad just died the 15th of this month, from lung cancer. He was gone 2 months to the day from his diagnosis and was in hospice every minute of that time. Anyone who has experienced the care of a good hospice service understands when I say they made my Dad's leaving worth something. They treated him with dignity, didn't sugar coat or gloss over facts, kept him clean, pain free and comfortable. He died with dignity and at peace.

One thing he did insist on was that any final visits and farewells be done as soon as possible after his diagnosis. He wanted people to visit and remember him at his best, not at his worse. We managed to get all his remaining sisters and brother, plus all his grand and great grandchildren in to see him, visit, share memories and essentially say good by before he became too ill to enjoy the visits. That left his immediate family to care for him and be with him as he approached the end. I think he did it the right way, as so many people afterwards said they appreciated being able to visit with him and taking away good memories of him, rather than memories of him on his deathbed and at his worse.

I can't tell you how long it will be before your father leaves, nor whether you should try to be there at the end or not. I can suggest you talk to him about it and see what he wishes. If he is entering hospice care, then he is well aware that he is dying, so that elephant in the room is eliminated, so speak with him, let him know your concerns and ask him when he wishes for you to come to him. I wish you strength and courage for what you must now face.
James C. Age 63
Gonna Make Myself A Better Man
4/07: PSA 7.6, 7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS3+3=6
9/07: Nerve Sparing open RRP, Path: pT2c, 110 gms., margins clear GS6
3 Years: PSA's .04 each test until 04/10-.06, 09/10-.09- Uh-Oh, reoccurance?
ED continues: Bimix- .3ml or Trimix- .15ml

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/5/2010 1:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi All,

Again, I'm very appreciative of all you sharing your thoughts and experiences. I'm sorry to hear that some of you weren't able to see your father in his last days.

I just arrived in Asia. I'm writing to you from the Hospice. I'm glad that I took the flight here. He is receiving really good care here. But, the combo of diabetes and the cancer has made him unable to talk more than a few words. At his state, he is sleeping most of the time. It is worse now than a few weeks ago.

I will be here for the next few weeks. I can access the internet in the hospital. So, I'll be doing my work on and off, while i'm staying with him in the hospital. Me being here also helps my mom's mental state and relieves her stress. She has been here for 20 straight days.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 7087
   Posted 9/5/2010 11:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Your dad recognized that you came. That was important to you and him. Giving your mom a break (mental or physical) probably is more important to both of them. She needs it, and he sees that she needs it. None of us want to burden someone else, even in good times.
My best wishes to all the family.
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