My Dad just died the 15th of this month, from lung cancer. He was gone 2 months to the day from his diagnosis and was in hospice every minute of that time. Anyone who has experienced the care of a good hospice service understands when I say they made my Dad's leaving worth something. They treated him with dignity, didn't sugar coat or gloss over facts, kept him clean, pain free and comfortable. He died with dignity and at peace.
One thing he did insist on was that any final visits and farewells be done as soon as possible after his diagnosis. He wanted people to visit and remember him at his best, not at his worse. We managed to get all his remaining sisters and brother, plus all his grand and great grandchildren in to see him, visit, share memories and essentially say good by before he became too ill to enjoy the visits. That left his immediate family to care for him and be with him as he approached the end. I think he did it the right way, as so many people afterwards said they appreciated being able to visit with him and taking away good memories of him, rather than memories of him on his deathbed and at his worse.
I can't tell you how long it will be before your father leaves, nor whether you should try to be there at the end or not. I can suggest you talk to him about
it and see what he wishes. If he is entering hospice care, then he is well aware that he is dying, so that elephant in the room is eliminated, so speak with him, let him know your concerns and ask him when he wishes for you to come to him. I wish you strength and courage for what you must now face.
James C. Age 63
Gonna Make Myself A Better Man tinyurl.com/28e8qcg
4/07: PSA 7.6, 7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS3+3=6
9/07: Nerve Sparing
open RRP, Path: pT2c, 110 gms., margins clear GS6
3 Years: PSA's .04 each test until 04/10-.06, 09/10-.09- Uh-Oh, reoccurance?
ED continues: Bimix- .3ml or Trimix- .15ml