In the original post, it was asked:
"Maybe we need a way to express how we are dealing with our PC from our emotional aspect, without the fear of offending someone because we mentioned religion, or yoga, or meditation, or satanic rituals. I for one, am curious how other men are handling their fears, their depression, anxiety, whatever."
As anyone who has been reading along these past week can tell, this aspect of recovery and support just isn't doable here. Even a discussion of how to support each other quickly turns into an acrimonous little spat about
how best to do it. There's a core group of guys here who are gonna resent and protest any mention of religious support and will push the interpretation of Rule 11, objecting even when I suspect they know that the part they object to is still legal but just want to keep things stirred up. On the other side, is a group who want to include the religious in the emotional experience of their recovery and want to express that, again pushing the intent of Rule 11 to the limit of what is allowed. Pushing the limits of Rule 11 tends to violate Rule 4, or provoke others to violate Rule 4. As long as one side or the other is willing to object or to try to inject something into their postings, then we are always gonna have these problems. And it is a problem, as it is demeaning to the intent of the Forum, demeaning to others here, and very disrespectful to the owner, fellow members and, especially, those among us who are really needing this Forum and the support it gives, but have to wade thru a bunch of seemingly ego-driven guys, protesting about
everything they don't like, disrupters of what is normally a good forum. There is no way to satisfy either side, hence the Rule to start with. The best I can say to all of you involved in this weeklong continuance of the same issue, that has been thread locked 3 times now is this. It was written by a fellow moderator from another forum, facing the same problems we have here:This is a support website, and if you continue to act in a manner that is unsupportive or if you feel that you are unable to restrain yourself from making negative inciting comments toward each other, then please feel free to seek life elsewhere. Otherwise if you see something that is clearly minor that you do not like, and it is not worthy of making an email to your moderator about, then I strongly suggest that you just do not respond.
If you are really gonna swell up and bust if you can't express yourself or have it your way, or you want to explore further areas that can give you the answers and support you wish, theres' other forums available to you here at Healing Well. They are the Aniexty and Panic forum, the Depression forum, the Chronic Pain forum, even the Irritable Bowel forum, for those whose guts seemingly stay in an uproar. However, the same rules apply there, so there ya go.
It's been proven time and again that with the current mix of guys, it is not possible to have any meaningful discussion of the emotional side of cancer recovery support without it devolving into and argument within the first 6 posts. So how about
it? Do you people want a forum that works for people on a more scientific level of providing experienced based medical and emotional support, or one that is gonna be more emotional based, supporting the body , spirit and soul, knowing full well that doing so will
open up each thread to discord, hurt feelings and irritation amongst the participants and general disgust amongst the rest of us who have to read these continious squabbles? If you want the second kind, then may I suggest you reread the quote I posted again and take it to heart.
Eventually even good hearted, well intended moderators get fed up and irritated with stuff that is continually being stirred up. After a week of this, combined with life stuff, I have reached that place, so I'll make no apologies for my little speech or for how I will be editing and deleting until this stuff stops. I have what I would like to consider good friends on both sides of this issue, so it isn't like I am taking sides or showing favoritism. But eonugh is enough guys, either support each other and the site or keep quiet or find some other place that you can express your kind of 'whatever it is that you wish'. I expect that will be hard to find and still find the support you do here from friends and "would be friends if we ever met" people.
If you can keep the discussion to emotional needs and methods to cope, without pushing the boundries of Rule 11, then more power to you. If you can't, just chose to keep quiet and agree to disagree. Otherwise, don't get your outrage all fluffed up at Tony and I when we clean house with deleting and editing.
It's the weekend, how about
we all take a day off, get outside, do something fall like, the season is changing and we should spend some time away from these keyboards enjoying it with our families, friends or just with ourselves.
James C. Age 63
Gonna Make Myself A Better Man tinyurl.com/28e8qcg
4/07: PSA 7.6, 7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS6
9/07: Nerve Sparing
open RRP, Path: pT2c, 110 gms., all clear except:
Probable microscopic involvement of the left apical margin -GS6
3 Years: PSA's .04 each test until 04/10-.06, 09/10-.09- Uh-Oh
ED continues: Bimix .30cc & Trimix .15cc PRN
Post Edited (James C.) : 9/25/2010 8:52:57 AM (GMT-6)