New member Grumpyone99

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English Alf
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2217
   Posted 11/24/2010 2:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Grumpyone99 posted the following below my sticky thread.

I had surgery to remove my prostate in 1998. It has been about 12 years now...without sex. I have to admit, that I realize that the lack of sexual activity was really MY fault. I don't think enough has been said here about the emotional aspects of this surgery and the resultant ED. My urologist WAS a surgeon and made that VERY clear from the beginning. He recommended several books on the subject to my wife and I and we DID read them all. My wife kept expressing HER opinion that the ONLY way we could be SURE the cancer was GONE was to REMOVE it. That is what we decided to do.

For the past 12 years I have blamed my wife for my ED, and as a consequence have denied HER and MYSELF any kind of sex life at all. I know I was WRONG, but it really didn't help. I went to a shrink and she said I was "depressed" and put me on Paxil. I KNEW I was ****ING DEPRESSED...that's why I WENT to her!

Not looking for an answer here, just trying to WARN you about the crazy things your MIND can do to you. I did NOT get on to any forums like this at the time...and now believe that had I done so it would have had a major change on my decision making.

Welcome grumpyone,
Yes, you've had a bad time from the sound of it, but what matters is that you still have the chance and time to do something positive about it. And one part of this process has already been the fact that you have cautioned others about this aspect of prostate cancer.

Born Jun ‘60
Apr 09 PSA 8.6
DRE neg
Biop 2 of 12 pos
Gleason 3+3
29 Jul 09 DaVinci AVL-NKI Amsterdam
6 Aug 09 Cath out
PostOp Gleason 3+4 Bladder neck & Left SVI -T3b
No perin’l No vasc invasion Clear margins
Dry at night
21 Sep 09 No pads daytime
17 Nov 09 PSA 0.1
17 Mar 10 PSA 0.4 sent to RT
13 Apr 10 CT
28 Apr 10 start RT 66Gy
11 Jun 10 end RT
BMs weird
14 Sep 10 PSA <0.1
Erections OK

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 300
   Posted 11/24/2010 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   
This post really caught my attention.  A lot of surgeons never explain to an RRP patient about  penile rehab. (pumps, viagra, injections),   Had I not prompted my surgeon from the info I got from this forum, I would probably be in the same boat.  We have several guys in this small community who have had RRP.  Some have been informed by their docs about rehab and chose not to due to their own personal thoughts and beliefs and some were not informed. When I run into them they complain about their lack of erections.  I believe in the old addage "use it or lose it"  Just a thought.  

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 192
   Posted 11/24/2010 6:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I was in a similar situation, my uro informed me about a bit of leakage I might experience and that I may have ED for a period. I had both and at 6 months out am still at 1 to 2 pads a day but have progressed past the ED stage. Had I not come across this forum and taken the initiative to do my own research, buy a pump, order Viagara from ADC and have my wife help with stimulation I don't know where I'd be in the ED recovery situation.
You must take things into your own hands to progress if you're  not getting the support you think you should from your Urologist. I credit this site with my progress and can only hope others find the same value in this community.
age 56
PSA 5.5
Biopsy, both lobes involved
Gleason 3/4=7
open RP May 18, 2010
Pathology: 15% involved, lymph nodes and v. d. clear, margins clear
June 3-10 10-12 pads/day
2 months 8 pads/day
Aug 1, 2010 5-6 pads/day
Aug 20, 2010 3-5 pads per day
Aug 16, 3 month PSA: undetectable
ED 95% with viagara
Sept 22, 2 pads a day
Oct 12, PSA 0.03
ED, 100% with viagara, just doeable without
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