When you first posted in '07 your dad had had PCa for eight years, so he'd now be around 11 years and nearing 74/75. When you're my age, he's still a young man. I'm sorry to hear he's in such trouble.
Back in '07 you posted that your parents were in Florida and not communicating well with the children, you and your siblings, in Illinois. It seems things haven't improved in this department. This suggests to me that your dad is a very private person, or at least as far as his PCa is concerned, he's a very private person.
I suspect your mom and dad have made some decisions which they are keeping to themselves, likely in the belief that this is a kindness to their children.
I think all you can do is let your parents know you love them, and if they need anything, to call, and then, again, that you love them.
Sheldon AKA Sleepless
Age 67 in Apil '09 at news of 4 of 12 cores positive T2B and Gleason 3 + 3 and 5% to 25% PSA 1.5
Re-read of slides in June said Gleason 3 + 4 same four cores 5% to 15%
June 29 daVinci prostatectomy, Dr. Eric Estey, at Royal Alexandra Hospital Edmonton one night stay
From "knock out" to wake up in recovery less than two hours. Actual surgery 70 minutes
Flew home to Winnipeg on July 3 after 5 nights in Ramada Inn --- perfect recovery spot!
Catheter out July 9
Final pathology is 3 + 4 Gleason 7, clear margins, clear nodes, T2C, sugeron says report is "excellent"
Oct 1st 09 -- dry at night, during day some stress issues.
Oct 31st padless 24/7
First post op PSA Sept 09 less than 0.02
PSA on Oct 23, 2009 less than 0.02
PSA on Jan 8, 2010 less than 0.02
PSA on April 9, 2010 less than 0.02
PSA on July 9, 2010 (one year) less than 0.02