Romance without testesterone

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cyrus1
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 1/14/2011 10:29 AM (GMT -6)   
This morning after 2 months of abstinence from any sex, with the help of vitimin viagra, my fiance and I, somehow, someway, we were able to have a brief moment of intimacy.  Thats opperating at a 30 t level down from a 735.  I feel its been really hard for her because as much as she tries to understand the deal with ht, it still looks like lack of attraction. I still say lupron is evil, but seems to be keeping the grim reaper at bay.
Age 63
Dx 5/2010
psa 17.5 at dx
psa 19.5 3 months later
gleason 8
positve10 of 10 on biopsy
44 imrt 5months lupron ht to date

44 imrt 5 months lupron ht

James C.
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4462
   Posted 1/14/2011 10:32 AM (GMT -6)   
As far as attention goes, if you can't perform, a woman always appreciates cuddling, and other forms of non-penis insertion. We tend to think with our ---uh---penis and forget that there's many other ways to show love, affection and attention to our partners. Try some of them, she'll probably be thrilled that you do.
James C. Age 63
Gonna Make Myself A Better Man tinyurl.com/28e8qcg
4/07: PSA 7.6, 7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS6
9/07: Nerve Sparing open RP, Path: pT2c, 110 gms., clear except:
Probable microscopic involvement-left apical margin -GS6
3 Years: PSA's .04 each test until 04/10-.06, 09/10-.09, 01/11-.09
ED-total-Bimix 30cc

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25380
   Posted 1/14/2011 10:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Cyrus, I agree 100% with Jame's post. Even without a penis, there are many ways to please a woman, and show her the physical side of your love, devotion, and effection toward her.
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marg
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06 11/10 Not taking it
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/23/10

F8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 3800
   Posted 1/14/2011 11:07 AM (GMT -6)   
cyrus -  good for you man.  i know how hard it is for you too with the desire completely gone.  my wife and i spend more time together and we cuddle more but no sex.  i got a slight reaction from viagra while we were in maui but it felt odd because my mind was not engaged.
 
my wife participates in a forum for wive's whose husbands have PC.  while she does miss the sex she's grateful that i haven't become distant and emotionally cold like some of the guys she reads about.  everybody involved suffers with this disease.
 
ed
 
age: 55
PSA on 12/09: 6.8
no symptoms, no prostate enlargement
12/12 cores positive....gleason 3+4 = 7
HT, BT and IGRT
received 3rd and last lupron shot 9/14/10

EnglishBob
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 126
   Posted 1/14/2011 11:38 AM (GMT -6)   
F8 said...
cyrus - good for you man. i know how hard it is for you too with the desire completely gone. my wife and i spend more time together and we cuddle more but no sex. i got a slight reaction from viagra while we were in maui but it felt odd because my mind was not engaged.


my wife participates in a forum for wive's whose husbands have PC. while she does miss the sex she's grateful that i haven't become distant and emotionally cold like some of the guys she reads about. everybody involved suffers with this disease.



ed


My wife pops in here nearly as much as i do to read the posts as obviously my PC affects her life as well, i wonder if you can let us have the link for the forum site that your wife uses please ??

Many thanks, Bob.
Age 58
Prostate problems since early 40s
Ed since early 40s
April 2007 biopsy & all clear
July 2010 prostate swollen more, psa up to 5.6 August 6.7
September Biopsy again
October 7th diagnosed cancer, Gleason grade 6 at 10% mass
December 13th 2010 open radical proctatectomy
Pathology results came back Gleason grade 7 at 12% mass BUT clear margins
Catheter out Jan 5th 2011

F8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 3800
   Posted 1/14/2011 11:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Bob -- i'll post it later when she gets home.
 
ed
age: 55
PSA on 12/09: 6.8
no symptoms, no prostate enlargement
12/12 cores positive....gleason 3+4 = 7
HT, BT and IGRT
received 3rd and last lupron shot 9/14/10

James C.
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4462
   Posted 1/14/2011 11:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Here's a link to some that I have. www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=1584686
James C. Age 63
Gonna Make Myself A Better Man tinyurl.com/28e8qcg
4/07: PSA 7.6, 7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS6
9/07: Nerve Sparing open RP, Path: pT2c, 110 gms., clear except:
Probable microscopic involvement-left apical margin -GS6
3 Years: PSA's .04 each test until 04/10-.06, 09/10-.09, 01/11-.09
ED-total-Bimix 30cc

jake930
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 1/14/2011 6:23 PM (GMT -6)   
CYRUS1, MY WIFE AND I HAD A VERY ACTIVE SEX LIFE BEFORE RP TO. SINCE THE RP I DON'T EVEN GET A QUIVER DOWN THERE YET. (RP WAS SEPTEMBER 2010) WE CUDDLED AND STUFF BUT AFTER A WHILE THAT WAS NOT ENOUGH. WE SOLVED THE PROBLEM BY INVESTING IN A "PENILE PROSTHESES" CALLED THE "RIDE-ON"BY "VIXEN CREATIONS"
($79.00) IT WAS A GOOD INVESTMENT. WE HAVE HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH IT. IT WAS GOOD FOR HER AND GOOD FOR MY EGO. SHE SAID IT IS LIKE THE REAL THING AND I FEEL LIKE A WHOLE MAN AGIN. IT IS MADE FOR MEN WITH ED PROBLEMS. CHECK IT OUT.

F8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 3800
   Posted 1/14/2011 9:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Bob -- my wife said she doesn't go to the women's forum anymore because she was the youngest there (41) and it was too depressing.  she doesn't remember the name of the forum but she was also placed on a mailing list called "prostate cancer and intimacy" and receives 2-3 e-mails a day.  unlike the forum which is women only, the majority of posters on the mailing list are men.
 
she thinks she was automatically put on the mailing list when she joined the women's forum whose name she can't remember.
 
ed
age: 55
PSA on 12/09: 6.8
no symptoms, no prostate enlargement
12/12 cores positive....gleason 3+4 = 7
HT, BT and IGRT
received 3rd and last lupron shot 9/14/10

jake930
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 1/15/2011 7:31 AM (GMT -6)   
f8, my wife would like to know how you access the womens forum? thanks

James C.
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4462
   Posted 1/15/2011 8:12 AM (GMT -6)   
jake, here's the link:

www.ladies-prostate-forum.org/ladies/
James C. Age 63
Gonna Make Myself A Better Man tinyurl.com/28e8qcg
4/07: PSA 7.6, 7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS6
9/07: Nerve Sparing open RP, Path: pT2c, 110 gms., clear except:
Probable microscopic involvement-left apical margin -GS6
3 Years: PSA's .04 each test until 04/10-.06, 09/10-.09, 01/11-.09
ED-total-Bimix 30cc

Susan R
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 1/15/2011 10:19 AM (GMT -6)   
www.ladies-prostate-forum.org/ladies/ucp.php?mode=login

This is the site that I use as well as this one. I get the female insight from them, and then I get the male info from you guys. I have the best of both worlds. As you share this site with your wife, know that it is mostly older women (as I am 40) but it is a place to share all the fear, concern, anger of being effected by PC, and none of the women are going to do anything but share their stories and support you - no judgement at all. I think it is a great site. Please share with your significant others.....but only for females.


added links to url to make it clickable

Post Edited By Moderator (James C.) : 1/15/2011 9:23:31 AM (GMT-7)

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