I think we are all afraid of dying or most of us would not be here. I am sure conversing about
PCa is not anyones idea of fun. How many people joined this forum before they were dx. I bet none. Yea, I know I was going to die someday, but thought it was far off. Like most people I always thought that if I was careful and did not do anything really stupid there is no reason I would die young. That is until I met Mr. Cancer. It does not discriminate or care who or what age you are and anyone is capable of being struck down within 6 months in anytime in their life. I guess I fell victum to believing what I read in the press about
things like "early dectection saves lives." And once you start reading about
cancer and how many people never had a chance in heck no matter when they were dx. you become disillusioned. Especially, when we are constantly reminded that "screening for PCa" has not been proven to reduce mortality. It's not that I believed everything I read in the "paper", but I did think that the medical community was much more controlled about
the information that they released to the public. And I believed they practiced a higher standard of professionalism. Yea, I was dupted.
Anyway, once of the things I have often thought about
and even considered posting a topic here, was "What if they cured it tomorrow." My problem would not be solved. My life would not go back to the way it was before I was dx. I now worry about
all the other cancers I could get and am constantly on high alert
for any symptom. I realize that my problem is not PCa, it is dying. There are many coping stratagies developed for people who are dying. Unfortunately, they don't work for me. I lately have tried to turn my focus on dealing with my own death and not PCa, but it is a slow transition.
Like many people here, I have family I don't want my death to affect. Mainly my two young children. I am sort of comfortable that PCa won't get me before they are 18. They are 5 and 9.
I have read the same thing that some studies have suggested that PCa people actually live longer then the general population because they become more health consicious. (sp) My PCa has caused me to clean up a few things in my blood work, that my PCP was not worried about. But, on the other had if you think about it dropping dead of a heart attach is really the way to go. Short amount of pain, no expensive hospital stay and you don't see it coming so you dont fret over it. Now I am taking care of my health so that won't happen so I can live longer and will probably die of another type of cancer instead. Because as we all know all of us are going to die of something. Ironic isn't it?
Post Edited (ChrisR) : 1/23/2011 1:32:00 PM (GMT-7)