Welcome to HW and I am so sorry for the reason you must post.
Having been thru my Dad's rapid progression of Stage 4 Lung Cancer, I can offer this insight: My Dad was given 4 months to live at diagnosis. Dad progressed slowly, as yours is, from full mobility to losing that ability in gradual stages. He just slowly lost the ability and strength to do for himself. It was really accelerated in his last week, as the cancer quickly spread to his brain and affected that. He was alert
and 'with us' up to about
3 days before the end. He went into a coma and passed quietly. He remained at home and was well taken care of in that environment.
Now then, the most valuable thing we found to ease his passing was the use of a good Hospice program. If your Dad isn't already in one, he should consider it. Once diagnosed as terminal, there's no valid reason that he can't be moved to their service. I know that with my Dad and Mom, both of which had hospice, this one thing made their last days more comfortable and much more pain free. They are able to design pain control with the patients wishes of maintaining their sense of not being drugged and such, like your Dad is expressing now. Hospice also provides personal care with bathing, shaving, encouragement chaplain services and such. They are the go-between in getting medicines and equipment, removing so much of the worry and such with accommodating a terminal patients needs. As it progresses, both my parents was much more willing to accept pain control measures. Most cancer deaths are by slowly losing strength, losing the desire to interact with those around them, more turning inward as they face their death. I think that's our body and souls way of dealing with it. That was my experience with it and my opinion only.
Since you know that your Dad is leaving you, you and the rest of the family can acknowledge the reality of it and help Dad make the best plans and have the best possible end of life care to make his passing one of peace and with dignity. That's all any of us can hope for.
Again, so sorry for your having to join us. Know that you are welcome at any time, for info, advice, or just a shoulder to cry one or some place to release pent-up anger and fear.
James C. Age 63
Gonna Make Myself A Better Man tinyurl.com/28e8qcg
4/07: PSA 7.6, 7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS6
9/07: Nerve Sparing
open RP, Path: pT2c, 110 gms., clear except:
Probable microscopic involvement-left apical margin -GS6
3 Years: PSA's .04 each test until 04/10-.06, 09/10-.09, 01/11-.09