Thank you fellows, one and all. And Zen, thank you for that too. I always appreciate the true support here. I need it as much as I give it ,trust me.
This might seem odd to say, but I don't feel penalized or singled out for getting the PC, I accept that fully as having meant to be, don't even feel a need to vent on the PC subject. Yes, been through a lot of pain and hell the past 2 plus years as the result of it, but not bitter to that fact.
I am still upset about needing this urostomy (stoma), I feel that the destruction of my bladder could have been avoided. I am bothered by it, by having to wear a device for life, for having to need a catheter bag for life at night, for worrying about the device coming loose in public and flooding me (happened already), and being forced to sleep on my back (not a normal position for me). If the SRT works, I could say, perhaps, in time, that it was worth all this, but if the SRT fails, then I will hate myself for going along with the SRT. If I knew it wasn't going to work, would have never gone through all this pain and suffering, and now this stoma for a failed cured. Guess you could call that my vent.
The rest of it, I try to take in stride.
David in SC
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marg
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06 11/10 Not taking it
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/23/10