I came here to HW some 18 months ago. I came here looking for answers to questions to understand PCa, to find questions that I did not know to ask and to find information that I could digest that did not take a Medical degree to understand.
I came here and found I was not alone. I found a larger than I expected community of folks who were going through the same crap that I was now going through. I found those that had already been down paths that I had yet to journey and those who had traveled towards the same destination yet took different highways. Yet all were traveling towards the same place; to treat this cancer, to live with this cancer and to somehow find LIFE and PEACE with this cancer.
I found emotional and well meaning support. I found comfort. I found individuals that I could discuss anything with and who could understand things from my point of view that my friends could not. How could my friends understand, "THEY DO NOT HAVE PROSTATE CANCER, THEY DID NOT FEAR THE SIDE EFFECTS OF TREATMENT, THEY HAD NOT THE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE DISEASE OR THE MYRIAD OF OPTIONS."
I found all of this here.
But I also found bitterness, I found those that had second doubts about
how they decided to treat their own disease. Read their words and between the lines and it becomes very obvious. I found those that offered advice and sometimes pointed and specific directions and recommendations as though their name contained MD or some other initials after their name. I found pig-headedness in their staunch support that their answers and solutions were the only ones that had merit. I found those that were rude and self-serving in addressing those that did not agree with their point of view. I found those that could not answer questions posed by talking from only their own experiences, but rather had to call on some one else's experience or study or findings to strengthen their case to the point of acceptance.
I found all of this here.
I have been traveling my own path. I have made my own decisions. After all they ARE MINE to make and mine to accept and mine to live with. I do not need, nor desire, ANYONE to reject my decisions as wrong, as not well thought out, as foolish, or misinformed. These decisions have all been mine and made from my perspective as what is right for me, my family, my circumstances and my life with PCa.
I stay here at HW to attempt to give back to those that follow. I stay here to try to balance the need for emotional support with that of the need to try to understand this disease and how to live with it.
There is absolutely NO ONE HERE that should EVER take anyone to task for their beliefs, their experiences, their decisions, or their attempts to help others. NOT ONE person here has earned this right through education, experience or any other manner.
This site and it's intent does not belong to any of us. We are all here as guests of the owner. We are all here and welcomed to participate within the guidelines as set for by the owner.
We are all here to abide by the covenants of COMMON DECENCY and COURTESY. Just look around you in your everyday lives. We as a society are becoming less courteous to everyone, everyday and in every way.
We say things to one another that we would never think about
saying in person. We say things at times that we would not say if we could see the hurt and pain in someone's face at hearing it.
Each and every one of us needs to remember that courtesy and common decency must prevail as we answer the questions asked. As we try to reach out to those that only need the comfort of knowing that they are not alone. As we try very hard to allow some one to feel less pain and anguish about
a decision or treatment they have made within the boundaries of their own choice and lives.
This, to me is what Healing Well is all about
. This is my understanding of the Goal of Healing Well.
This is what I found here when I came 18 months ago. This is what still exists today.
However, I would also say that there is less of it today than there was. It is absolutely true that there is more rudeness, less courtesy and less emotional support than there was when I found HW.
It is why I remain. I post seldom these days. I read almost daily. I choose not to get involved in the readily apparent battles, self serving debates and diatribe that jumps up on a regular basis.
I remain here to chime in when I clearly recognize that someone needs want I found when I came here. They need to know that they are not alone. They need to know that others have been where they fear they are going and they need to know that they will be all right and able to find life with this disease.
They don't need me to be a doctor. They don't need me to be the ultimate research analyst. They need to know that as a common man and as ignorant of PCa in the beginning as they were, that I have found my way through the journey so far. That I continue to enjoy life. And that I will face other decisions just as they will in the future. And that the ability to deal with them, to separate the wheat from chaff and make decisions withing the framework of their lives is what counts the most.
This is my own personal opinion and observations of HW as I found it, what it is today, and what it is here for.
We are all guests in this man's home. It is his home. And he has graciously
opened his doors for all who are lost and looking for comfort and answers. I humbly suggest that we all remember whose house it is and how each of us came to be here in the first place.
60 years old - PSA 11/07 3.0 PSA 5/09 6.4
da Vinci 9/17/09
Post Surgery Pathology: GS 4+3=7
Tumor Volume 12.5% positive margin, extra-prostatic extension
30 day PSA 0.4, 50 day psa 0.53, 64 day psa 0.6
IMRT completed 1/15/10 35 treatments- 70Gy
2/23/10 Post IMRT PSA 1.0
3/22/10 PSA 1.5
4/19/10 PSA 1.2
5/22/10 PSA 1.3
8/9/10 Completed Radiation for MET
9/7/10 PSA 2.2
1/5/11 PSA 3.9
Post Edited (Sonny3) : 2/26/2011 3:32:39 PM (GMT-7)