What is "Support" at HW?

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Tudpock18
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 4275
   Posted 2/26/2011 7:21 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Folks:

 

Yesterday our moderators pointed out that this is a support forum; one of them even suggested that some members may need to get out of Dodge.  Anyway, this got me to thinking about the question of how we define “support”.  My observation over 2+ years is that support at HW is generally given in one of three ways:

 

1.    Warm and Fuzzy Support.  This is where we give a warm welcome to new members, congratulate people on their results, share condolences on bad reports and wish people well on their upcoming procedures (even if we disagree with their choice).

 

2.    Academic Support.  This is where we take the time to find and cite research studies that educate members about prostate cancer issues.  Sometimes this support is simply broad based education, sometimes it is used to make a point about a poster’s particular point of view.

 

3.    Direct Support/Advice.  This is where posters give specific counsel based on their accumulated knowledge of this disease.  This seems to include things like advising people to take their time, to seek multiple opinions, to get a second opinion on their biopsy pathology and sharing an understanding of the side effects of treatment options.  It also includes answering specific questions based on experience, e.g. “where can I get the best deal on ED drugs?” or “how many Depends should I buy?” or “what is the effect of a particular drug?”  And, there are times that comments in this area include advocacy for a particular treatment type, e.g. my bias for radiation or Tony’s bias for surgery.

 

Rarely does a poster only provide support in one category exclusively but I’m sure that most of us regulars could slot most of us into a predominant type.  For example (and I apologize if I offend anyone here), I think (name omitted) posts a lot in #1 above, while Casey is primarily a #2 poster and JohnT may be our best in category #3.

 

Anyway, I would contend that HW is a big tent that has room for all three type of “support” if done in a respectful way and within the rules.  Comments or thoughts?

 

Tudpock (Jim)


Age 62 (64 now), G 3 + 4 = 7, T1C, PSA 4.2, 2/16 cancerous, 27cc. Brachytherapy 12/9/08. 73 Iodine-125 seeds. Procedure went great, catheter out before I went home, only minor discomfort. Everything continues to function normally as of 12/8/10. PSA: 6 mo 1.4, 1 yr. 1.0, 2 yr. .8. My docs are "delighted"! My journey:
http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=1305643&g=1305643#m1305643

Post Edited (Tudpock18) : 2/26/2011 2:43:41 PM (GMT-7)


zufus
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 3149
   Posted 2/26/2011 7:48 AM (GMT -6)   
I think the mod squad does a fine job of moderation for such a broad range of thoughts, cares, concerns, comments, jokes, religious infringes, nasty talk, rants and raves and over zealousness, outside the box comments and free speech...to a level that none of us would love to volunteer to be 'the man'. Like too what you mentioned Jim...that is why this site is the full monte on PCa...it's all there and to a reasonable standard and kept pretty civilized. You ought to see some political forums...unreal what free speech can lead too.(LOL)

I give James, Doting, Tony et al....a score of 10 on a 10 pt. scale..thus Olympic Gold!
(caveat: I have been moderated before...found it therapeutic in curing my errors)
This has been my experience, someone else may have other takes on it.
Dx-2002 total urinary blockage, bPsa 46.6 12/12 biopsies all loaded 75-95% vol.; Gleasons scores 7,8,9's (2-sets), ct and bone scans looked clear- ADT3 5 months prior to radiations neutron/photon 2-machines, cont'd. ADT3, quit after 2 yrs. switched to DES 1-mg, off 1+ yr., controlled well, resumed, used intermittently, resumed again and still working

RCS
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 2/26/2011 9:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Jim,
 
I would add another "support" that this forum offers ... at least it offers it to me.  It is mental support ... I enjoy coming to the forum and offering an occasional comment.  From the numbers I see for some posters, I guess that other guys also enjoy just hanging out at the site (beats McDonalds!).

Ziggy9
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 2/26/2011 10:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Tud,

Normally I would agree with you. But if I did it may well construed as a deliberate co-ordinated action by our "clique"

I guess we only do support lite now.

If you're going to have your cousins college buddy who just became a urologist rip out your prostate in his second Davinci go ahead, I'm sure it will work out for you.

If you can bribe a doctor to cut out your gland 2 weeks after your biopsy so it won't later interfere with the start of deer season. How timely, good planning there.

If you honestly believe your doctor's statement that his patients have a 97% continence and 94%ED success rate a month after surgery. He must be a very very good doctor. Don't mention any opinion to the contrary you don't want to be snarky and/or a Debbie Downer.

If some believe the "gold standard" was established 15 years ago and it will never ever change, who are you to say otherwise? All less invasive advancements and questions about massive overtreatment are just hype or a plot to lower costs. What was good back in 1999 is still the best.

Welcome to HW. Be lite or be gone.

.... Co conspirator Ziggy

Skate
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 2/26/2011 10:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Sense of humour and deep sarcasm.  My favourites and I love it Zig!  But.....

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 2/26/2011 11:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Tud, I find your 3 levels do not cover the whole scope of support and what someone coming here might want or not want. I don't appreciate you stereotyping me to your type #1 support. I am not into the #2 at all, I could be - as I have lifetime experience in writing lengthy technical papers, but I choose not to here. And lots of us, including me, contribute on your #3. If you notice with me, I don't give advice on areas that I am not experiened in, I know nothing about ED, so where do you see me giving advice there? I had the opposite problem of incontinence, so I rarely have anything to say about that subject.

I detected some anger in your post, not towards me, but in general to whatever happened yesterday.

The bottom line is very easy. It's a free site, the owner has his own vision, its his place, his investment of time and money, and we only have to agree to a handful of simple rules to be here. If any of us don't or can't go along with that, we are free to leave of our own free will. Or, if some felt strong enough in their views of "support", they could start a new site and a new forum with a different focus.

I think our moderators do a good job under tough circumstances sometimes, and its our job to support their decisions at times, whether we agree or not.

I would rather that Peter Waite, the owner, say this, but I would guess that he would mostly feel, using your 3 categories, that #1 would be the bulk of his intent. If you go to some of the other diseases and ailments at HW, many other groups are heavy on your #1. Just my opinion.

Even though I am a veteren here, like you, and others, I think we should never lose the memory of what it means to come to a place like this, sometimes in a deep mental funk, uneducated often about our cancer, full of real fear and horror for what lies ahead.

I equate it sometimes to when someone has a death in the family, and the funeral director (to make more money) pushes the bereaved into making instant expensve decisions, as they wallow in shock and grief.

We need to remember our own fears and uncertanties, if we ever hope to help those new to our community..

David in Sunny South Carolina

Post Edited (Purgatory) : 2/26/2011 9:39:39 AM (GMT-7)


English Alf
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2218
   Posted 2/26/2011 11:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Yeah the mental support is about feeling worried scarred or venting but then finding others via HW who feel the same, so even if waht you find here doesn't make you feel 100% okay you at least realise that you are not alone or on your own.

Oh and there is also the support for and from partners.

Alf

compiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7270
   Posted 2/26/2011 11:43 AM (GMT -6)   
I am still curious as to what happened yesterday?
 
I used to be on a poker usenet group. Check it out: rec.gambling.poker. You will see that literally 95% of the posts are now political in nature. Juvenile insults abound. In short, it has totally deteriorated by morphing into something else. As someone else said, if you want to see real nastiness, interject politics (and religion).
 
I didn't read any of the offending posts. But from what I've seen, the moderators have done a great job with this group.
 
Also, keep in mind that in our group depression and moodiness can abound, either due to some of our medications or this disease itself (especially as we approach upcoming PSA tests). I think we all tolerate each other's moods because we have all been there. Also, we are just different. I know as I post more and more over time, I can almost predict many of the responses. Some folks will be quick to take offense, considering many innocent but honest comments as personal attacks. Others will, in their own way (sometimes quite subtle) promote their own form of treatment and/or supplement.
 
Hey, we are a community and we are a microcosm of society, although a small PC subset with some unique attributes but many common strengths and weaknesses of society as a whole.
 
Mel

Sleepless09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 1267
   Posted 2/26/2011 11:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Ziggy9 makes an interesting point --- there is a cost to the PCa community in what some might see as being vanilla posts, just as there is a cost in posts which are too aggressive and offend, rather than help.

The question is: Where is the tipping point? And the reality is this isn't a question this forum can deal with. HW is a commercial venture which has both the right, and the obligation, as does any business, to make decisions which will make the most profit (keep it alive) and execute. The owner has made a decision on the tipping point, based presumably on the business plan, which would seek to find the right balance to drive membership and activity. This may, or may not, suit individuals here, but "here" is not their place. It is not my place. It is not the moderator's place. It is the owner's place and it is right and proper he makes the rules.

Frankly, I think the low threshold tipping point which the owner has decided on is a good one for the community. By driving membership and activity the most number of people will be helped in the most acceptable way. If a visitor, or a member, wants a less vanilla, no punches pulled, tough talking, take no prisoners forum, the net is full of them. There is a need for a gentler, nicer, more caring approach and I am very happy there is such a place for me to visit and be a member of.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless
Age 67 in Apil '09 at news of 4 of 12 cores positive T2B and Gleason 3 + 3 and 5% to 25% PSA 1.5
Re-read of slides in June said Gleason 3 + 4 same four cores 5% to 15%
June 29 daVinci prostatectomy, Dr. Eric Estey, at Royal Alexandra Hospital Edmonton one night stay
From "knock out" to wake up in recovery less than two hours.  Actual surgery 70 minutes
Flew home to Winnipeg on July 3 after 5 nights in Ramada Inn  ---  perfect recovery spot!
Catheter out July 9
Final pathology is 3 + 4 Gleason 7, clear margins, clear nodes, T2C, sugeron says report is "excellent"
 
Oct 1st 09 -- dry at night, during day some stress issues.
Oct 31st padless 24/7 
 
First post op PSA Sept 09  less than 0.02
PSA on Oct 23, 2009 less than 0.02
PSA on Jan 8, 2010  less than 0.02
PSA on April 9, 2010 less than 0.02 
PSA on July 9, 2010 (one year) less than 0.02
  

142
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 7084
   Posted 2/26/2011 12:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Sheldon,
 
I think HW as an entity has been discussed at length before. There is, to my understanding, no profit motive, and no profit being generated. All of the ads are just to support the cost.
 
I have seen it said by the admins, and looked at Peter's posts, where I get the confirmation that he is doing this as a service to others.
 
Other than not agreeing with the "commercial" context, I think you are correct.
 
 

daveshan
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 2/26/2011 12:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Support: "You may want to do a bit more research before you (enter poster's treatment choice/beliefs here) there are some studies that show (enter data here)

Being a putz: "You are stupid for thinking/dong that, haven't you read (enter data here)"

It's all in how you say it.
07-06 PSA 2.5
01-08 PSA 5.5
09-09 PSA 6.5
12-09 Biopsy, initial Gleason 9 (4+5) later reduced to 8 with tertiary 5
03-01-10 Age 55 RRP in Durango CO by Dr Sejal Quale and Dr Shandra Wilson
03-16-10 Path' G-8 (4+4+5) Bilateral involving 21% of left lobe, 3% of right lobe, SVI, Focal positive margin, pT3b NO MX

All PSA as of 1-25-11 <0.04

142
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 7084
   Posted 2/26/2011 12:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Dave,
 
Yes, the tone of a response can be more significant than the information in it.
 
I will go back to an exchange I had with a now-banished poster for an example of what not to do -
I came here the first time two months after surgery, and described what I was doing, and had some questions.
 
That poster immediately replied (I'll be off on the quote, as the post was expunged later) that "only a fool would make a choice like that", referring of course to my previous and good or bad, very irrevocable decisions. A few posts later, with adequate information, just about all the serious members here either agreed or at least did not take issue with my choice. And that was appropriate. No number of posts could have undone my surgery.
 
That is one of the problems I see. It is at best hard, and generally unwise, to pass judgement first and hear the case later.
 
As well, some first time posts can be a bit dicey. Some folks need a bit of encouragement to type it, walk away for a few minutes, then come back and read it again before hitting send. Does it say what you really intended, and does it offer a useful picture?

F8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 3996
   Posted 2/26/2011 12:47 PM (GMT -6)   
i think if you post on a forum like this mainly to "help" others you are on a slippery slope.  the main reason i'm here is to help me.  don't get me wrong, i have plenty of empathy for others and some stories literally bring me to tears.
 
i think the way we help others is to share our strength and experience, as well as offer encouragement.  i may not say anything for days but that doesn't mean i don't wish the very best for every single person here. 
 
ed
 
age: 55
PSA on 12/09: 6.8
gleason 3+4 = 7
HT, BT and IGRT
received 3rd and last lupron shot 9/14/10
2/8/11 PSA <.1, T= 6 ng/dl

Post Edited (F8) : 2/26/2011 11:14:28 AM (GMT-7)


Sleepless09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 1267
   Posted 2/26/2011 1:01 PM (GMT -6)   
daveshan --- excellent !

142 --- I have not delved into the motives of our owner, but as altruistic as they might be, it doesn't alter the fact HW is a commercial, for profit venture. It's supported by advertising, not out of the owner's pocket (although he likely invested substantial to get it to the breakeven point) and it's not supported by a United Way, or some foundation. That leaves commercial, for profit. As I said in my post above, "keep it alive."

At some point the operating costs will remain fairly stable, while revenue will go up. I'd bet the owner won't take much, if any, profit out but will use extra dollars to enhance the site with perhaps different softwear for example, to drive membership and activity. That will be in keeping with his service focus. However, someday there could be a huge payout for him if he sells not the revenue stream, but the membership and activity stream, to a big player. That's not at odds with having as a primary motivation service to others. As a businessperson, believe me when I characterize this site as a for profit site, and appreciate how the owner might be financially rewarded in the future, that's not a "knock," it's respect. As Rotary says: He profits most, who serves best. (Which just happens to come from a man named Arthur Fredrick Sheldon, who I'm named "Sheldon" after.)

Sheldon AKA Sleepless
Age 67 in Apil '09 at news of 4 of 12 cores positive T2B and Gleason 3 + 3 and 5% to 25% PSA 1.5
Re-read of slides in June said Gleason 3 + 4 same four cores 5% to 15%
June 29 daVinci prostatectomy, Dr. Eric Estey, at Royal Alexandra Hospital Edmonton one night stay
From "knock out" to wake up in recovery less than two hours.  Actual surgery 70 minutes
Flew home to Winnipeg on July 3 after 5 nights in Ramada Inn  ---  perfect recovery spot!
Catheter out July 9
Final pathology is 3 + 4 Gleason 7, clear margins, clear nodes, T2C, sugeron says report is "excellent"
 
Oct 1st 09 -- dry at night, during day some stress issues.
Oct 31st padless 24/7 
 
First post op PSA Sept 09  less than 0.02
PSA on Oct 23, 2009 less than 0.02
PSA on Jan 8, 2010  less than 0.02
PSA on April 9, 2010 less than 0.02 
PSA on July 9, 2010 (one year) less than 0.02
  

JoeFL
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 420
   Posted 2/26/2011 1:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Tud,
 
I agree with your point that the tent is big enough for your 3 versions of "support" and other definetions as well. I was looking for help/information in #3 and ended up getting that and a whole lot more...some of which I didn't even know I needed.
 
That said, I have been around long enough to see the more prickly tone that has recently developed and I support the mods all the way on what they feel they need to do to comply with the owners wishes.
 
For me it's been no problem. There has only been one poster in a year and a half that was way too far out there for me....and he is now blocked. There are a few others that I just don't bother to read....and I'm sure there are folks that tune me out as well. None of that alters the fact that this site remains as an invaluable resource for anyone newly dx'd, grappling with the treatment option or looking for SE advice.
 
I don't think the ship is that far off course.
 
Joe

compiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7270
   Posted 2/26/2011 3:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Sheldon:
 
Why do you keep insisting that this is a "for profit" venture?
 
I believe it's been stated that this is not a for-profit venture.
 
Anyway, I'm not sure that it really matters. Profit or not for profit, one would like HW to succeed.
 
Mel

Tudpock18
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 4275
   Posted 2/26/2011 4:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Folks:
 
Thanks for your responses.  My motive was simply to create a dialogue on the subject of support and generally that was accomplished.  One poster thought I was angry and I have no earthly clue what gave him that impression but whatever.   I have omitted his name from my original post as I had no intention of offending anyone by characterizing my view of where I saw a lot of their postings.  If I inadvertedly offended anyone else, I am sincerely sorry. 
 
I have not seen where any of the moderators stand on my 3 categories and whether they think any or all of them are appropriate for this forum.  If any of you have time, I would seriously appreciate knowing your opinon.
 
Tudpock (Jim)
 
P.S. To Mel and Questions:  I think the issues that came up yesterday were two-fold.  One was a post wherein I probably came on a little too strong in response to clocknut who had criticized one of my posts.  My post was edited my the mods...my first edited post in 2 1/2 years on the site so I hope they don't think I'm a serial offender!  The second issue was a totally different thread where there were a series of highly sarcastic (IMHO) replies to a new member who commented in his posting that he was "comfortable" financially.  If there were other issues I guess I missed them. 

tatt2man
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2845
   Posted 2/26/2011 5:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello:
One main element for me that helped me in my darkest moments after diagnosis and treatment of my prostate cancer (I discovered HW after treatment) has not been dealt with in this topic, is the key element:
.......................
I AM NOT ALONE
........................
- and in its expanded forms

I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH PROSTATE CANCER

I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO IS SCARED

I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH GLEASON SEVEN

... you get my drift ...

sometimes NOT being alone is the best support you can have, while trying to wrap your mind around this dramatic change in your life....

I AM GLAD HEALINGWELL IS HERE - I AM NOT ALONE

lowercase hugs,
BRONSON

P.S.upper case used for effect - not shouting - nono
Age: 55 - gay with spouse of 14 years, Steve
location: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
PSA: 10/06/09 - 3.86
Biopsy: 10/16/09- 6 of 12 cancerous samples, Gleason 7 (4+3)
Radical Prostatectomy: 11/18/09
Pathology: pT3a -Gleason 7 -extraprostatic extension -perineural invasion -prostate weight -34.1 gm
PSA: 04/08/10 -0.05 -Zero Club
PSA: 09/23/10 -0.05 -Zero Club
PSA: 03/24/11 - TBA

Post Edited (tatt2man) : 2/26/2011 3:08:32 PM (GMT-7)


Sonny3
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 2448
   Posted 2/26/2011 5:27 PM (GMT -6)   
I came here to HW some 18 months ago. I came here looking for answers to questions to understand PCa, to find questions that I did not know to ask and to find information that I could digest that did not take a Medical degree to understand.

I came here and found I was not alone. I found a larger than I expected community of folks who were going through the same crap that I was now going through. I found those that had already been down paths that I had yet to journey and those who had traveled towards the same destination yet took different highways. Yet all were traveling towards the same place; to treat this cancer, to live with this cancer and to somehow find LIFE and PEACE with this cancer.

I found emotional and well meaning support. I found comfort. I found individuals that I could discuss anything with and who could understand things from my point of view that my friends could not. How could my friends understand, "THEY DO NOT HAVE PROSTATE CANCER, THEY DID NOT FEAR THE SIDE EFFECTS OF TREATMENT, THEY HAD NOT THE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE DISEASE OR THE MYRIAD OF OPTIONS."

I found all of this here.

But I also found bitterness, I found those that had second doubts about how they decided to treat their own disease. Read their words and between the lines and it becomes very obvious. I found those that offered advice and sometimes pointed and specific directions and recommendations as though their name contained MD or some other initials after their name. I found pig-headedness in their staunch support that their answers and solutions were the only ones that had merit. I found those that were rude and self-serving in addressing those that did not agree with their point of view. I found those that could not answer questions posed by talking from only their own experiences, but rather had to call on some one else's experience or study or findings to strengthen their case to the point of acceptance.

I found all of this here.

I have been traveling my own path. I have made my own decisions. After all they ARE MINE to make and mine to accept and mine to live with. I do not need, nor desire, ANYONE to reject my decisions as wrong, as not well thought out, as foolish, or misinformed. These decisions have all been mine and made from my perspective as what is right for me, my family, my circumstances and my life with PCa.

I stay here at HW to attempt to give back to those that follow. I stay here to try to balance the need for emotional support with that of the need to try to understand this disease and how to live with it.

There is absolutely NO ONE HERE that should EVER take anyone to task for their beliefs, their experiences, their decisions, or their attempts to help others. NOT ONE person here has earned this right through education, experience or any other manner.

This site and it's intent does not belong to any of us. We are all here as guests of the owner. We are all here and welcomed to participate within the guidelines as set for by the owner.

We are all here to abide by the covenants of COMMON DECENCY and COURTESY. Just look around you in your everyday lives. We as a society are becoming less courteous to everyone, everyday and in every way.

We say things to one another that we would never think about saying in person. We say things at times that we would not say if we could see the hurt and pain in someone's face at hearing it.

Each and every one of us needs to remember that courtesy and common decency must prevail as we answer the questions asked. As we try to reach out to those that only need the comfort of knowing that they are not alone. As we try very hard to allow some one to feel less pain and anguish about a decision or treatment they have made within the boundaries of their own choice and lives.

This, to me is what Healing Well is all about. This is my understanding of the Goal of Healing Well.

This is what I found here when I came 18 months ago. This is what still exists today.

However, I would also say that there is less of it today than there was. It is absolutely true that there is more rudeness, less courtesy and less emotional support than there was when I found HW.

It is why I remain. I post seldom these days. I read almost daily. I choose not to get involved in the readily apparent battles, self serving debates and diatribe that jumps up on a regular basis.

I remain here to chime in when I clearly recognize that someone needs want I found when I came here. They need to know that they are not alone. They need to know that others have been where they fear they are going and they need to know that they will be all right and able to find life with this disease.

They don't need me to be a doctor. They don't need me to be the ultimate research analyst. They need to know that as a common man and as ignorant of PCa in the beginning as they were, that I have found my way through the journey so far. That I continue to enjoy life. And that I will face other decisions just as they will in the future. And that the ability to deal with them, to separate the wheat from chaff and make decisions withing the framework of their lives is what counts the most.

This is my own personal opinion and observations of HW as I found it, what it is today, and what it is here for.

We are all guests in this man's home. It is his home. And he has graciously opened his doors for all who are lost and looking for comfort and answers. I humbly suggest that we all remember whose house it is and how each of us came to be here in the first place.
60 years old - PSA 11/07 3.0 PSA 5/09 6.4
da Vinci 9/17/09
Post Surgery Pathology: GS 4+3=7
Stage: T3a
Tumor Volume 12.5% positive margin, extra-prostatic extension
30 day PSA 0.4, 50 day psa 0.53, 64 day psa 0.6
IMRT completed 1/15/10 35 treatments- 70Gy
2/23/10 Post IMRT PSA 1.0
3/22/10 PSA 1.5
4/19/10 PSA 1.2
5/22/10 PSA 1.3
8/9/10 Completed Radiation for MET
9/7/10 PSA 2.2
1/5/11 PSA 3.9

Post Edited (Sonny3) : 2/26/2011 3:32:39 PM (GMT-7)


Sleepless09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 1267
   Posted 2/26/2011 5:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Sonny, what a wonderful post. And a spectacular ending:

"We are all guests in this man's home. It is his home. And he has graciously opened his doors for all who are lost and looking for comfort and answers. I humbly suggest that we all remember whose house it is and how each of us came to be here in the first place."

Bronson: As always you nailed it!

Many years ago a Canadian who lived near where Bronson lives, wrote about footprints in the sand and gaps where God carried him. You have all carried me across many gaps. I stay here knowing someday I may need you all again, and in the meantime I hope I can repay my debt to you all in some small measure by helping another across.

Love all you guys ...

Sheldon AKA Sleepless
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Age 67 in Apil '09 at news of 4 of 12 cores positive T2B and Gleason 3 + 3 and 5% to 25% PSA 1.5
Re-read of slides in June said Gleason 3 + 4 same four cores 5% to 15%
June 29 daVinci prostatectomy, Dr. Eric Estey, at Royal Alexandra Hospital Edmonton one night stay
From "knock out" to wake up in recovery less than two hours.  Actual surgery 70 minutes
Flew home to Winnipeg on July 3 after 5 nights in Ramada Inn  ---  perfect recovery spot!
Catheter out July 9
Final pathology is 3 + 4 Gleason 7, clear margins, clear nodes, T2C, sugeron says report is "excellent"
 
Oct 1st 09 -- dry at night, during day some stress issues.
Oct 31st padless 24/7 
 
First post op PSA Sept 09  less than 0.02
PSA on Oct 23, 2009 less than 0.02
PSA on Jan 8, 2010  less than 0.02
PSA on April 9, 2010 less than 0.02 
PSA on July 9, 2010 (one year) less than 0.02
  

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 2/26/2011 6:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Excellent post and opinion, Sonny. You said in much greater detail and more eloquence than I was able to in my response, and did a better job of it. I appreciate not only your answer, but your contributions to HW from the first time you arrived. Proud to call you a friend, for real. Bless you brother.

David in SC
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marg
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06 11/10 Not taking it
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/23/10

Sleepless09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 1267
   Posted 2/26/2011 6:12 PM (GMT -6)   
compiler said...
Sheldon:
 
Why do you keep insisting that this is a "for profit" venture?
 
I believe it's been stated that this is not a for-profit venture.
 
Anyway, I'm not sure that it really matters. Profit or not for profit, one would like HW to succeed.
 
Mel
 
Mel, in my world there are two kinds of organizatons, ventures, entities  ---  profit and non-profit.  Best I know this site is owned by an entity that is not a certified non-taxable not-for-profit entitled to issue tax reciepts for donations, and hence when the owning entity sells any sales dollar would go to that entity's account.  I'm quite sure if this site continues to move ahead the way it has been, and the owner dies, the IRS will expect heirs to declair a value and if it's over a certain amount, pay tax.  To me that this site is a for profit venture isn't a value judgement, it's a legal fact and a reality.  It in no way detracts from the noble aspirations of the owner to serve. 
 
As you and others are puzzled why I keep insisting this is a 'for profit' venture, I am equally puzzled as to how anyone could see it differently.  The point, to me, of recognizing this as a for profit venture is that makes it clear that there is an owner.  That this site is the property of someone, or their company.  From that comes their legitimacy to set rules, regulations, policies, and proceedures.  If indeed this were a non-profit site, then that directive right would not be held by an individual.
 
Aside from recognizing the legitimacy of the ownership and therefore the owners right to rule, the profit business doesn't matter.  At least not to me.  What matters is the content and the tone of this place and its mission and values and as I hope I've made clear I support them all.
 
Mel, I hope this makes sense and helps you understand where I'm coming from.  Of course, I could be way off base and totally wrong, it wouldn't be the first, or I fear the last, time!  
 
Sheldon AKA  Sleepless

compiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7270
   Posted 2/26/2011 6:24 PM (GMT -6)   

Sheldon:

That was very interesting. I think we agree that profit/non-profit is irrelevent in terms of our needs here.

I just seem to recall that it was stated that this is non-profit. Maybe it was that all profits are put back into this site. I understand your legal distinction.

 

Mel

 

 


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 2/26/2011 6:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Tud: If you read what I wrote, I said I detected anger in your post, but not directed towards me. So I never said you made me angry, you didnt. I implied plainly that I meant anger in general, that was how the tone sounded to me, but what the heck, I am just one opinion out of many. So there was no reason to delete my name from your answer on account of me.

David
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marg
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06 11/10 Not taking it
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/23/10

Ziggy9
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 2/26/2011 6:29 PM (GMT -6)   
I think it was non-prophet.

All wild eyed men stumbling out of the desert need not post here.
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