ED and Leakage

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 3/3/2011 1:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Does anyone else have the problem with uncontroable leakage while attempting an erection?  I will start to get stimulated and out of the blue I will urinate.  Its embarssing for me, my wife says no big deal but really bothers me.  As soon as it happens I leave the room too ashamed to look at her.  God bless my wife because she is very kind with her words and encourages me to come back to bed but I cannt.  If this is a temp thing, fine, I can live with it.  Just no sex until it goes away.  To tell the truth this whole ED thing has me totally depressed.  After 3 months making progress with the incontinence problem but not the ED deal.  Taking Cilias but not getting anything from it.  Sorry to ramble, just having another pitty me day.  Thanks

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 3/3/2011 1:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome, bikerider.

No, don't have that problem, but we have at least a couple of fellows here that have extreme problem with urinating while attempting sex, hopefully they will chime in some advice. Good luck, do remember while it may seem gross, urine is sterile when it leaves your body.

David in SC

Ps Its ok to vent here, we can take it!
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marg
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06 11/10 Not taking it
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/23/10

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 3/3/2011 1:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Bikerider,
I had a bit of an issue with it at first and it did get better with time, now leaks are very rare. Everyone is different and I hope your recovery is speedy.

Are you doing Keigles (sp?) I found that refraining from liquid intake for a few hours before sex (let's face it when pills are in the picture spontaneity is out the door) and hitting the head right before would help. My Dr explained that the muscle that is now our only sphincter is hard wired to open during sex to allow ejaculation, we have to re-train it to behave the way we want it to.

You're lucky to have an understanding wife, mine's been a big help getting me used to the "new normal".

Dave in Durango CO
07-06 PSA 2.5
01-08 PSA 5.5
09-09 PSA 6.5
12-09 Biopsy, initial Gleason 9 (4+5) later reduced to 8 with tertiary 5
03-01-10 Age 55 RRP in Durango CO by Dr Sejal Quale and Dr Shandra Wilson
03-16-10 Path' G-8 (4+4+5) Bilateral involving 21% of left lobe, 3% of right lobe, SVI, Focal positive margin, pT3b NO MX

All PSA as of 1-25-11 <0.04

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 172
   Posted 3/3/2011 1:44 PM (GMT -6)   
That is a problem for me also...It is getting some better with time. and I have tried all the ED meds also so far no big bang yet, but I know it is more theraputic still at this point. So just keep on the meds and keep up with the keagel exercises It will all get better..just takes time....At least thats what I am told and what I keep telling myself, and yes I get depressed and frustrated also witht he slow progress but at least it is progress. I have been keeping a journal and making sure at the first of each month I make an entry for progress for ED. and I see that there is a slow progression.

Hang in there!
age 44 when diagnosed 45 now
RRP 9-28-10
gleason 3+3
pathology report clear
11-1-10 PSA 0.02
3 month 0.00
pump works ok
12-1-10 noctural erections, not very strong maybe 20%
tried all oral meds and nothing yet
Dr. R. Saint in Tulsa did my procedure, I do NOT recomend him!!
2-28-11 ED seems to be getting worse, no nocturnals for a week, and nothing spontanious at all still

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 99
   Posted 3/3/2011 9:31 PM (GMT -6)   


Welcome to the forum. I too had that issue early on. It was only temporary for me and I was able to get over fairly quickly. It seems like everything just takes time. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. You are fortunate to have an understanding wife. She will be a major contributor to your healing process. You are among friends here; we understand your frustration and feel free to vent all you need to. Like David said, “we can take it”.


Age 53...51 when diagnosed.
February/09 PSA 11...GP discoverd during yearly physical...referred to Urologist
Biopsy found cancer, Gleason score of 6.
July 2009...Nerve-Sparing open radical prostatectomy.
Doing very well...only issue is ED and that is getting better.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 47
   Posted 3/4/2011 12:51 AM (GMT -6)   
6 months post da divinci, at about the 6 to 8 week time frame I seemed to leak real bad.  I would try to void the bladder prior to the act, but that didn't work too good.  Now that it has been 6 months I still have some leakage, but not as bad, I feel I am improving.  Taking the ED oral meds, with little results.  Nothing near penetration hardness, will talk to Uro about injections.  I have read many post and they all say everbody is different.
Good luck.
age 64 @ dx
PSA 2.8
left base G 3+3 30% involved
l/apex G 3+3 20% involved
Da Vinci bilateral nerve sparing 13 Aug 2010 Tulane NOLA (44 grams)
Post path report G3+4, Neg margins, neg nodes, pT2c
PIN identified
3 month PSA 0.0
6 month PSA 0.0
Incontinence 2-3 pads a day OK @ night & sitting
ED as expected but working on it

Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4849
   Posted 3/4/2011 7:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Listen to your wife and take good care of her.... Get a nice clean bath towel to sleep on and let 'er rip yeah

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 3/4/2011 12:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks guys. I guess its true, time will heal all wounds. Just really frustrating. I do the Kegal exercises and thats helping with the incontinence. Going to see the doc on the 14th about injections and we hope that helps. I love my wife and I thank god everyday for being blessed with her. Thanks again guys, you were lots of help!!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 713
   Posted 3/4/2011 4:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Bikerider Welcome. As I am only 5 1/2 weeks out of surgery,sex is one of the farthest things on my mind. Constant leakage is. My wife tells me over and over to relax it'll get better and that only a selected few become dry right away. I hate them for that!!
All the booklets I got from my Uro said that ED is usually the very last thing to get back to any sign of normal. Your nerves took quite a beating during surgery so they will take time to normal out.
With the name you have ,is it motor or manual powered?
Every minute you fish or ride,adds an hour to your life!

Age 52 Dx age 53 daVinci surgery
prostate volume 24gms
Biopsy 12 cores with 7 positive- left base,right base,left mid gland,right mid gland, left apex.
Gleason score of 7
First PSA 38.7 on10/05/2010
Second PSA 49.9 on11/23/2010
CT negative
Bone scan Negative
daVinci RRP on 01/25/2011 by Dr Mark G Delworth at Bethesda North Hospital.

Cajun Jeff
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4119
   Posted 3/5/2011 8:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Biker, Glad your going to see the Uro about starting injections. I started them over a year ago and it gave us our sex life back. I am a happy camper with the injections.

As for the leaking for the most part I am dry never need a pad. Sometime when I get to the big O is will have a bit of a leak. As Steve in Dallas said use a nice thick soft towel and enjoy yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Some guys that leak a bit more have recomended using a condom. (just a thought)

Best of luck on the injections. Do let us know how you like them. :)

Cajun Jeff
9/08 PSA 5.4 referred to Urologist
9/08 Biopsy: GS 3+4=7 1 positive core in 12 1% cancer core
10/08 Nerve-Sparing open radicalSurgery Path Report Downgrade 3+3=6 GS Stage pT2c margins clea
r3 month: PSA <0.1
19th month: PSA <0.1
2 year PSA <0.1
Only issue at this time is ED but getting better

Susan R
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 3/5/2011 10:25 AM (GMT -6)   
From this woman's point of view.....When Michael has an orgasm, he seems to "shoot" urine. Not much but more than a trickle. Urine is not something that "turns us on" (it does for some, from what I understand) but it isnt anything that is horrible, end of the world. Do I want him to just "pee" on me....NO! but during sex do I mind at all that he leaks urine....NO! Do I think any less of him or that he is any less of a man because this happens....NO! I think you guys are much harder on yourselves and expect more from yourselves than we (as the wives) do. At least this wife/woman. There is always differing of opinions, but if your wife is telling you it isnt that big of a deal, and not to worry about it, then this is something she can handle and she can deal with. It will not take away from who you are, what you mean to her. Your body is different now, but your heart and your soul is not. Give yourself a break, enjoy the intimacy. Have a towel handy, make light of it and make a joke. It is really not that big of a deal, this is not a deal breaker! Keep in mind, we have been used to "cleaning up after" or "messy" sex. We will just continue cleaning! Dont be embarrassed! I think open communication with your wife about your feelings is great, but take what she says as truth!

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/6/2011 10:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Biker, Just a short note to let you know it's no big deal - I am over 3 years post divinci surgery and still have some "leakage" during sex once in awhile - I have learned to watch my fluid intake before intercourse and to drain my bladder before sex.... My story of recovery was one of pure frustration ..but nothing is more satisfying then knowing you are cancer free!!!!! Even today I still have issues with stress leakage( heavy lifting,hard coughing,etc..) on a daily basis and I kegeled till I was sick of it .. my ED issues sucked and had little to no results with pills for quite some time .. 18 mos ago I started injections with EDEX and am pleased with the excellent results and only occassionally use it now as I have good results with viagra most of the time.. hang in there and I know it might seem embarrasing to you but like susan posted above I believe most wives understand and dont really care....

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 3/6/2011 11:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Susan for the womans point of view and thanks to everyone else for their inputs!! Just have to remember to be patient. DaSlink, I ride both. I have a Harley and a mountain bike. Now that Mr Prostate is gone I can ride my mountain bike more then 5 miles without having to find a restroom! I guess some good did come out of this!!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2243
   Posted 3/6/2011 1:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Susan gave you good adivce from a women's perspective Bikerider. So please stay in the room next time and finish what your started and hopefully time will change all of this. Glad you get to ride your Mtn Bike as I enjoy mine as well. Might get a racing bike so I can ride with friends and continue running as well.

English Alf
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2218
   Posted 3/7/2011 4:09 AM (GMT -6)   
I've been a leaker and squirter, but it's getting better.
Having sex in the shower is one option.
My first decent erection after surgery was when I was in the bath. Without shocking the mods too much, what happened next was that my wife came into the room to rub my back and rubbed my front as well! The elaking was thus not a problem.

You may need to put up the "Slippery when wet" signs.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 713
   Posted 3/7/2011 10:31 AM (GMT -6)   
May be get a good wet dry vac also devil
Every minute you fish or ride,adds an hour to your life!

Age 52 Dx age 53 daVinci surgery
prostate volume 24gms
Biopsy 12 cores with 7 positive- left base,right base,left mid gland,right mid gland, left apex.
Gleason score of 7
First PSA 38.7 on10/05/2010
Second PSA 49.9 on11/23/2010
CT negative
Bone scan Negative
daVinci RRP on 01/25/2011 by Dr Mark G Delworth at Bethesda North Hospital.

Dave in NC
New Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/9/2011 8:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Bikerider - same problem here. Not only do I start to leak when half erect (despite voiding just before), but ejaculation is all urine.

Have been using a condom long before RP, long before vasectomy...just made cleanup easier (expecially for spouse), with added side benefit of helping prevent premature orgasm. Amount of urine ejected is about the same as amount of semen before, so for most part seems little has changed.

My only problem is timing...can't put condom on until at least half erect, and that's just when the leaking starts.
- PSA from 2.2 to 6.6 in two years
- Biopsy: T1c, 4 of 16 cores positive, Gleason 3+3
- Age 64: RRP Charlotte July 2008
- Post-op Gleason 3+4
- Negative surgical margins, lymph nodes, seminal vesicles
- Both nerve bundles spared, but ED
- Total incontinence months 1-3
- Partial incontinence months 4-6
- PSAs <0.04 so far

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 990
   Posted 3/9/2011 11:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey, could you find someone to slap you upside the head -- hard? Have you noticed that sex is not just about you but about you AND your wife. She says that she doesn't mind so obviously, when you run, you are running from yourself.

The slap having been administered, it is tough to adjust to a new reality -- the thing to focus on is that you love each other and you both are in this together. Believe it or not, talking about your worries and anxieties can actually strengthen your relationship.
Age at diagnosis 66, PSA 5.5
Biopsy 12/08 12 cores, 8 positive
Gleason 3+4=7
CAT scan, Bone scan 1/09 both negative.

Robotic surgery 03/03/09 Catheter Out 03/08/09
Pathology: Lymph nodes & Seminal vesicles negative
Margins positive, Capsular penetration extensive Gleason 4+3=7
6 weeks: 1 pad/day, 1 pad/night -- mostly dry at night.
10 weeks: no pad at night -- slight leakage day/1 pad.
3 mo. PSA 0.0 - now light pads
6 mo. PSA 0.00 -- 1 light pad/day
9 mo. PSA 0.00 -- 1 light pad/day ED remains
12 mo. PSA 0.00 -- still one light pad and ED
16 mo PSA 0.00 -- light pad just for security, ED still an issue

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 464
   Posted 3/10/2011 9:21 AM (GMT -6)   
I am 59 and 4 years post op and have no ED issues. As soon as I start getting sexually aroused, I can feel my splinkter muscle relax and I will leak like a open faucet.  Even if I empty my bladder before sex, I will still leak a little.
When I have an orgasm, I ejeculate urine with such force, I can hit the ceiling.  I ejeculate urine with more force now, then I ejeculated seman when I had my prostate.  My uro says there is nothing you can do about it and you just have to live with it.  He says urine is steril so if you get some inside your partner, not to worry because it won't hurt her. Try telling that to a woman! 
I found that if you drink a lot of water a few hours before sex, it dilutes the urine so there is no smell and makes it a little more bearable.  I am thinking on mixing white food coloring with my water in the hopes that it will change the color of my urine to white.  At least if I am going to ejeculate urine, it might as well look like seman.

Post Edited (NY-Sooner) : 3/10/2011 11:53:55 AM (GMT-7)

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