Good morning, David - and I hope it is a better morning. I am so sad to hear this latest news. No, you don't want my sympathy, but it is an emotion I just feel.
I like some of por's ideas, but when in a deep depression it is difficult to see beyond your current suffering. I don't know anything about HT; however I hope you get your wish to find someone to guide you, i.e. quality medical oncologist with a lot of experience with advancing PC cases.
Have you tried infrared light treatment, especially in these colder, darker days? I don't think anyone can truly understand deep depression unless they have experienced it them selves. There is a need to find joy in your life to lift the dark clouds. I would like to believe that day WILL come for you!
I know of at least 4 cases where Social Security was denied. How strange that in each case, after 5 appeals the disabilitypayment request was granted. All back money payments followed. They want people to quit applying and to just give up. It is good that you have found a lawyer!
I wish you the best as you contemplate your next step. Please, please don't shut your wife out of some of your thoughts.
I found this statement to the point, "Good luck, David, and rant/whine/scream here on HW as much as you want. You have been wonderfully supportive to others, but we all need support."
Husband Ron, age 63
4/1/10 PSA 5.5 Prostate size = 50 grams
Biopsy on 4/20/10 12 samples... Adenocarcinoma: 3 positive on right side, one core left base (5% ` 0.5 mm) - two cores of left lateral mid
(20% ~ 2mm, 10%, 10% ~ 1mm) - No Perineural Invasion
Gleason 6 (3+3)
Bone Scan/CT Negative (2 lesions on liver)
8/18/10 - Da Vinci Prostatectomy
Post Op: Gleason 7 (3+4)
Negative surgical margins and lymph nodes
Both nerve bundles spared
Catheter - 13 days
ED / NO incontinence.
Went to rehab to build up Pelvic floor
Post Surgery PSA 8 weeks - .01
6 mo. PSA - .01