A Strange Calm is Upon Me

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Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 4/7/2011 4:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Upon my the initial news of my huge 7-week PSA jump, post SRT, of course I was in shock and awe at first, so was my doctor, a leap of that magnitude was not expected.
 
But since about 2 days after the reading, I have developed a strange calm about my entire situation.  I am not scared, and in some ways, feel like a weight has been lifted off of me.  Of course I don't like and wouldn't have chosen this situation, who would?  But, my mind has quickly adapted to this new level of my reality and existence.
 
I know what my only real option(s) is/are.  Not to do anything - like nature run its course, and with this PSA velocity, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to understand that it wouldn't take long to be in mets range.  I can do HT now, while the PSA is still under 10  (at least right now), or as some experts and doctors would suggest, wait till it gets to 10 - 20 range, and then slam it with HT.  From what I have learned and gathered, that's basically my "choices" at this point.  The PSA certainly isn't going to reverse on its own, I accept that.
 
Like all things PC, it would be nice to have one voice, one opinion, of the effectiveness of HT in general, and agreement on to start now or later.  We all know here, those that have researched the subject, that even our experts in the PC world can't and don't agree on an exact strategy.
 
With 2 major failed curatives attempts in fairly short order behind me, and now a skyrocketing PSA again, and the fact that I started this journey with Rapid PSA before diagnosis, I don't have a lot of confidence in HT helping a lot.  Some or many of you won't agree with this statement, and that is cool.  We are all learning, and we all have our own natual biases on the subject.
 
Since my SRT did so much damage to me physically, and left me in a year of pain and horror, resulting (I know some of you are tired of the story, sorry) with a destroyed bladder and bladder neck, resulting in a nuisance of an ursotomy, I wished a thousand times over, that I had never undergone it.  I didn't trust on my gut feeling on that decision.  Everyone was saying, oh it might work, you need to try it, etc.  I did major radiation before, and it put me through hell and left me with major side effects that I still suffer from 11 years later.  I made the decision, so I have to live with it.  But if I had only known that SRT for me was going to fail within months, I would have never taken the risk.
 
So now, with a lot of advice saying, I should start HT now, and I can always stop it if I don't like the SE or QOL issues, sounds good on paper.  For me, I am not convinced in my particular case that HT will stop the advances of this runaway cancer.  I don't want to spends months or years being more miserable than I have already endured.  What's the point?  If the cancer is ultimately going to win, then why suffer more for little gain?  It's not a question in my mind of giving up, geez, I have had to fight a lot of terrible and painful things for over 2 years already.
 
It's more a question of how do I want to spend the rest of my life.  It's a question of not being fooled again with a treatment that is doomed in advance, HT certainly isn't going to be curative, no hope of that.
 
But despite all this, I do have a calm about it.  I would hope that some of you, perhaps just a few in our community here, would understand a bit of what  I am saying.  I am certainly not advising this line of thinking towards anyone else, I am only talking about my own numbers and my own case.
 
No decision has been made.  Still seeking another medical oncologists opinion.  I need that in my decision process, no doubt.
 
Just sharing this odd sensation of calm.  From the day I was dx, and in the years prior to the dx with a rapidly rising PSA, I would never know I have cancer.  I don't feel the cancer, no direct effect that I can detect.  All the pain and suffering I have and are still going through, are 100% related to the treatments to stop the cancer, not from the cancer itself.  It's hard to believe I did all I have tried, just based on numbers on a piece of paper.
 
David in SC

Julietinthewoods
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 309
   Posted 4/7/2011 4:50 PM (GMT -6)   
David, I can definitely understand your reluctance to do one more thing. You are weighing the odds of any benefit from yet another treatment with the reality of all of the life-altering side effects of failed treatments you have already had to endure. I have no idea what I would do if I were you.

As to the sense of calm, it is just a blessing no matter what the reason.

Wishing you continued calm...

Juliet

JNF
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 3888
   Posted 4/7/2011 5:01 PM (GMT -6)   
David,

We haven't met, yet I feel like I know you. You are such a great voice of experience, reason, and courteous candor. You have been through far more than I can imagine and my treatment pales by comparisson.

My wife was hit with breast cancer for the second time last year. The first time crushed her at age 46 feeling she would never enjoy grandkids that weren't even thoought of at that time. Over time she overcame her fear and trepidation.

This time, the dx and treatment was taken with such a mattter of fact calmness that it concerned me greatly. I thought she had given up, and I couldn't blame her. Basically she related that it wasn't going to consume her or define her. She went through a double nasectomy, chemo, radiation,and now on arimidex. During the treatment she closed one business and opened another and has spent more time with grandkids than ever.

Her calmness is the key.

I just 10 minutes ago walked in from my visit to the urologist where I received my second shot of eligard. Please don't fear ADT. I have the usual hot flashes, but it could be much worse. Your docs will treat you well. Look at some of the long term real survivors that have used drugs like DES and emcyt for a very long time very successfully.

Your calmness will help you find the best course and it will help your body persist.

All the best and thanks for the guidance you have provided to me an others,

Jack
PSA 59 on 8-26-2010 age 60. Biopsy 9-8-2010 12/12 positive, 20-80% involved, PNI in 3 cores, G 3+3,3+4,and 4+3=G7, T2b.
Eligard shot and daily Jalyn started on 10-7-2010.
IMRT to prostate and lymph nodes 25 fractions started on 11-8-2010, HDR Brachytherapy 12-6 and 13-2010.
PSA <.1 and T 23 on 2-3-2011.

BillyMac
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 4/7/2011 5:34 PM (GMT -6)   
It is very good that you are in a calm state of mind David. I can well understand your reluctance to try another treatment following the previous outcomes. But my thinking would be along the lines that those treatments no matter whether successful or not were non-reversible. You had to live with the outcome, good or bad, or in your radiation case, disastrous. HT if you added that at an appropriate time is completely reversible. As you know "Snuffy" Myers and a lot of other good oncologists are very pro intermittent treatment for as long as it is effective. Many have a very good long term response to it and knock the PSA and tumour burden right back down again. There may well be side effects that are unpleasant but you can always pull the pin on HT and any side effects if they don't have the desired result and make things too unpleasant. then you would be no worse off than if you never tried them. If you take out the negligence of the radiation treatment and the terrible outcome it caused, many have trod the same path as you, and for many HT had the desired result. I see it as worth a shot, but then I can understand that after all you have endured, you may have a different view.
Best wishes,
Bill

Northfoot
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 81
   Posted 4/7/2011 6:00 PM (GMT -6)   
David,
I have written before about your making a decision soon, but I must also comment that I wish I had your calmness. All along, my experience the past three years of dealing with PCa has been a rollercoaster of emotion, with great emotional highs at times of undetectable psa and the worst lows when recurrence happened. I have to think that the stress I have undergone has probably taken years off my life by itself, not counting the surgery and SRT and risk of reoccurrence. I think that those of us in or near similar circumstances as yours think of the same things you do. Whatever your choice, I hope it is one that you never regret (it sounds like you have had enough of that already), and thank you for sharing your thoughts and emotions during this time.

compiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7270
   Posted 4/7/2011 6:05 PM (GMT -6)   
David:
 
Another excellent, honest, thoughtful post from you.
 
I also commented to my wife earlier today that it is ironic that I have never had any symptoms pertaining to PC. So far, they have just been PSA numbers. But I have certainly suffered from the anxiety and also directly from the treatments.
 
But, you mentioned that you had only two tx. choices: do nothing or do HT. Actually, you have another choice that you mentioned later in passing: see a medical oncologist. Frankly, that is your ONLY choice because until you talk with an EXPERT, you really cannot be 100% sure that those are your only two choices. There may be another choice or a host of choices given your views/aversion to HT. You are making statements regarding your "only" choices that MAY not be true.
 
David -- get moving on that consultation. You are dragging your feet. At least find out about your options ASAP. THEN you can operate from a good knowledge base. I hope you do find an expert.
 
Mel
PSA-- 3/08--2.90; 8/09--4.01; 11/09--4.19 (PSAf: 24%), PCA3 =75 .Biopsy 11/30/09. Gleason 4+3. Stage: T1C. Current Age: 64. Surgery: Dr. Menon @Ford Hospital, 1/26/10. Pathology Report: G 4+3. Nodes: Clear. PNI: yes. SVI: No. EPE: yes. Pos. Margin: Yes-- focal-- 1 spot .5mm. 100% continent by 3/10. ED- yes.. PSA on 3/10/10-: 0.01. PSA on 6/21/10--0.02. 9/21/10--0.06; 1/4/11-0.13,3/1/11--0.27

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 4/7/2011 6:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, Juliet, it's not an easy choice, I am at a tough stage right now, now that the curative cars are expired

thank you jack, that was a thoughtful response.

you make a valid point, billy mac

thank you too, north, i dont feel any of us have easy paths

mel, name at option at this juncture that wouldn't be some form of HT?

thank you, hope
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marg
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06 2/11 1.24
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/10,

Susan R
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 4/7/2011 7:01 PM (GMT -6)   
When I was a teenager, friends of my parents, the husband found out he had a brain tumor. They tried some treatments and no luck, the cancer remained. They were both very spiritual/religious people and they came to the decision that quality of whatever life was left, was much more important that being in hospital after hospital and treatment after treatment to extend his life feeling like crap. So they stopped the treatment, retired from work, they went to visit their grown children and a few grandchildren. They went on a few trips and saw things they had always wanted to see but were to busy to take the time for. They shared the last months of his life together, making many memories for Jane to keep safe with her. I remember thinking what an amazing couple they are and how strong of a love you have to have to make a decision like that with your partner. The day David passed away, I was in Maine at boarding school, I was watching the most beautiful sunset that evening. Jane has lived her life without a partner, stating that David was her soulmate and one true love. But she has had a good life. She was the minister at our wedding!!!

I hope the story is not too depressing, it isnt meant to be. I tell it so that you know, David, that whatever your decision, continue with treatment or not, you will be loved and supported (minimally by the people on this board, but my assumption would be that you have a fantastic partner and wonderful loved ones in your life.) Gather the info, see the Doctors and then weigh what you deem most important in your life. There is no wrong decision as long as you have no doubts.

With Admiration,
Susan
Husband 39 at diagnosis 12/2010.
No symptoms, PSA 18 in 10/2010
one month antibiotic then PSA 12.6 in 11/2010
biopsy end of 11/2010 Gleason 6
Da Vinci prostatectomy 2/2/2011
1-2 pads per day
nocturnal erections within a month, and able to have sex with Levitra.
1st post-op PSA less than .05

staging: pT2aNo, Gleason 6

Old Sailor
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 209
   Posted 4/7/2011 7:23 PM (GMT -6)   

David, your a tough old bird and you will weather this storm.  With the failed RRP, I now kinda wish I had gone with seeds, but I can't change that.  With the failed SRT, I now wish I had not done that (although I had few problems), but I can't change that.  I am now on HT but I CAN change that if I don't like it.  You get my drift.  I also felt a calmness at your stage and I think it is because we have some control, although we certainly didn't want it,  at this stage of the game.

When I start thinking about how terrible pca can be, I read Dr. "Snuffy" Myers book again - it lifts me up and I realize that there can be good days ahead.

I keep reading about how terrible HT side effects are but I can honestly say that I have only had the hot flushes (which effexor now controls).  I do have loss of libido but if you don't realize you have lost the sexual drive, I guess you haven't lost anything.   Does that make sense. 

One other thing.  My doc started the HT with a psa of 1.0 because he felt you had to hit it hard and early.

I sincerely hope things turn around for you and I will be praying to PP to help you get through these days, improve your health,  and move forward.  The Old Sailor 


tatt2man
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2845
   Posted 4/7/2011 7:29 PM (GMT -6)   
David:
- may your eyes see clearly after the storm has past, and the fresh air fill your lungs with hope and expectation, all is not lost, for the strange calm is a welcome respite from the turmoils of the past.

-you have our love and support -

from internet source said...
Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them?
Rose Kennedy


hugs,
BRONSON

Post Edited (tatt2man) : 4/7/2011 6:32:58 PM (GMT-6)


cooper360
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 4/7/2011 7:31 PM (GMT -6)   
David........I think of you often,with hopes that things will smooth out for you. I can not imagine the emotional toll your health has taken on you and your family,let alone the physical.....I sincerely hope things will go better for you.....  Cooper wink

tvwohio
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 175
   Posted 4/7/2011 7:46 PM (GMT -6)   
David
 
You have been through allot and  it is time to just take a breathe.
 
Praying, laughing and enjoying what you have even with the pain and suffering.
 
Sometimes a brief time gives clarity to the  situation as well as the options.
 
You will know when it is time to resume the fight and you will win. 
 
But you need some DAVID and DAVID FAMILY time - do that now.
 
Good Luck - my prayers, thoughts and feeling are with you.
 
Tom from Ohio

Ed C. (Old67)
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2461
   Posted 4/7/2011 8:34 PM (GMT -6)   
David,
When I was DX I found this website and posted my information, you were the first one to respond to my questions and calm my anxiety. You have been an inspiration to many of us on Healing well. I have been following your journey and sharing your stories with my wife who asks me every day "How is David". Your calmness is not unusual, it is one of the steps that we go through once we accept what cards we are dealt. I'm confident that you will think everything through and take the appropriate action or inaction as it might be. Whatever you choose, know that we are all behind you and wishing the best.
Age: 67 at Dx on 12/30/08 PSA 3.8
2 cores out of 12 were positive Gleason (4+4)
Davinci surgery 2/9/09 Gleason 4+4 EPE,
Margins clear, nerve bundles removed
Prostate weighed 57 grams 10-20% involved
all PSA tests since (2, 5, 8, 11, 15, 18, 21 months) undetectable
Latest PSA test (2 years) <.008 ?

compiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7270
   Posted 4/7/2011 8:46 PM (GMT -6)   
David:
 
NO! You don't ask ME to name a tx. other than HT.
 
You ask an expert.
 
Find one.
 
Mel

gold horse
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 360
   Posted 4/7/2011 8:57 PM (GMT -6)   
David I know what you are talking about.God bless you.
DIAGN=46 YEARS
GLEASON=3+3
FATHER HAD PC,THEN I THEN MY BROTHER STILL HAS TWO BROTHER PC FREE.
MARRIED,TWO CHILDREN.AGE 13 AND 8.
LAPROSCOPY SURGERY 6/2005
PATOLOGY REPORT.
GLEASON=3+3
TUMOR VOLUME=5%
LYMPHOVASCULAR INVASION=NEG
PERINEURAL INVASION=POSI
TUMOR MULTICENTRICITY=NEG
EXTRAPROSTATIC INVASION=NEG
SEMINAL VESICLES BOTH=CLEAN
MARGIN ALL=NEG
PT2ANXMX
DEVELOP SCART TISSUE AND NEEDED A SECOND SURGERY BECAUSE COULD NOT URINATE,
PSA 6/05=0.04,0.04,0.04,6/06,0.04,0.04,0.04,6/07,0.04,0.04,0.04,6/08,0.04,0.04,1/09
0.04,10/09,0.04
 

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 4/7/2011 9:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Susan, that was a beautiful story, thanks

sailor, i got your drift, thanks for the tip

thank you bronson and cooper

ed and tom, thanks too

mel, the point isnt you giving me advice, the point is there is only one protocal or the other of HT ahead, there is no magic 4th choice

thanks gold horse
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marg
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06 2/11 1.24
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/10,

compiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7270
   Posted 4/7/2011 9:45 PM (GMT -6)   
David:
 
Regarding the next protocol being HT, that is also my understanding. But given your concerns, there may be other protocols and maybe some with lesser SE. I know my image of chemo is worse SE. But I don't really know. Frankly, I am not up on the various HT modalities. Maybe one has fewer SE than another.
 
Time for an expert.
 
Mel (broken record)

compiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7270
   Posted 4/7/2011 9:50 PM (GMT -6)   

David:

I also meant to add: "CALM" sounds good. I'm not sure if it really is good. You need to act fast and that might require something other than being calm.

But, then again, I am not walking in your shoes, although I seem to be right behind you!

Would you believe I used to be a calm, laid back fellow? Where did that guy go?

 

Mel

 


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 4/7/2011 10:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Mel, I strongly disagree on your last point. I don't need to act fast. Fast is not good with any aspect of PC in my opinion. It's not denial on my part, I know exactly where I stand right now, and I am ok with it. If I ever agreed to consent to HT, it won't be an easy or fast decision. The advice I am listening to right now, is the school of thought not to rush to HT until a much higher PSA number is reached. I have read the arguments on both sides, but more convinced of the waiting side.

I am barely healed up from my most recent major surgery in September. I am still suffering from extreme Chronic Fatigue, radiation related, of course, and I am trying to adapt to the life of an ostomite, which isn't as easy as some think, and now, not only did the SRT fail fairly fast, its now allowing the PSA to light up and take off. It's a lot to take in.

There won't be any rush on my part. Ultimately, I feel I know where there is all going one day, and I am even ok with that. Its just a matter of what I do in between with my choices ahead. Choosing not to do anything is as equally complex as choosing to do something at this point.


David
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marg
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06 2/11 1.24
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/10,

English Alf
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2218
   Posted 4/8/2011 2:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes David, I definitely know about the strange calmness.
I think that for me and I think for you too that this "Calm" does not however mean that I sit back and do nothing while the plane crash happens around me. It's more the case that as I go about my ordinary life plus the PCa related things I found that I don't feel any panic and have a sensation of having conquered the fear. (The old business of accepting the difference between what you can and can't do anything about)

It is very strange for me that I have been far more stressed with matters relating to selling my appartment and buying a house, than anything to do with cancer. (But maybe it's also got something to do with having good docs and bad real estate folk! to say nothing of a bank that keeps making mistakes!)

All the best
Alf

Sephie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1804
   Posted 4/8/2011 7:12 AM (GMT -6)   
David, I understand your calmness, and experienced a similar feeling when John's PSA crept up to 0.1 then 0.3, and we began the process for salvage radiation.

What concerns me (because I love you so) is your resignation to what you see as the inevitable progression of this disease. While it is your choice - and I will support your decision always - I do hope that sometime soon the fighter in you comes back and says "I'm not done just yet." Don't give up, please - you have so much to fight for.
Husband diagnosed in 2/2008 at age 57 with stage T1c. Robotic surgery performed 3/2008. Stage upgraded to T3a (solitary focus of extraprostatic extension). Perineural tumor infiltration present. Apex margin, bladder neck and SVs negative. Final Gleason 3+4. PSA: 0.0 thru July 2009. August 2009 - 0.1, September 0.3, October back down to 0.0. Last PSA March 2011: undetectable!

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 4/8/2011 8:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Sephie, thank you for your sweet words. Coming from you in particular, I know your sincerity is genuine. I have not given up fighting in the classical sense. It's more like, I am re-evaluating my entire PC journey. Nothing has worked, and I have paid for these primary and secondary treatment failures in a major way. You know what I have been through, so I won't repeat it.

For those pushing HT now, or later, what (and with the nature of my particular cancer) I go ahead and do that, and after x amount of time it fails too (my track record for problems is high)? Then what would folks say, well at least he tried. I am not willing to submit to another period of hell and suffering, for a 3rd time, I am not confident it will work or prove anything in the long time. Not sure why other's can't see that, perhaps its because they haven't been me, or suffered so much physically for so long.

Sometimes, its really true in medical matters, that the cure is worse than the disease. I can relate to that. My sufferings would have been worth it, had either one of them worked. Burned twice, shame on me. I don't intend to get burned a third time if I can help it.

Once I have met again with a good medical oncologist, I will have a better guage of doing, or not doing.

As always, love your care and support. Give my best to John.

David
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos marg
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06 2/11 1.24
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/10,

Sephie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1804
   Posted 4/8/2011 9:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks David, will do.

We both know that there is no one who can tell you what you should do and when you should do it. I believe your story scares alot of people (me included) because your situation could have happened to any of us. We react in a visceral way - it hits us hard and brings home the reality that PCa is not the "benign" cancer that many believe it to be. You just keep doing what you are comfortable with and make the decisions that work for you. Accept the advice that makes sense for you, and reject what doesn't - that's all any of us can. As I've said before, there is no "one size fits all" solution to PCa.

Remember, if you choose to come to NY (to hook up with a medical oncologist or just simply to chill out), let me know as John and I would love to show you and Peg around our town.
Husband diagnosed in 2/2008 at age 57 with stage T1c. Robotic surgery performed 3/2008. Stage upgraded to T3a (solitary focus of extraprostatic extension). Perineural tumor infiltration present. Apex margin, bladder neck and SVs negative. Final Gleason 3+4. PSA: 0.0 thru July 2009. August 2009 - 0.1, September 0.3, October back down to 0.0. Last PSA March 2011: undetectable!

Ziggy9
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 981
   Posted 4/8/2011 9:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I think the calmness is natural. One can only stay in a high state of anxiety for so long. Maybe it's partially more acceptance, or hell maybe you are just simply burned out. Who wouldn't be with all you've gone through in recent years?

I still recommend you take the wife and go away for a week or two right now. Yeah I know you said it's not convenient for your wife's job. But screw it at times a break or achange of scenery is what is needed. Just my $.02

Post Edited (Ziggy9) : 4/8/2011 9:03:02 AM (GMT-6)


wifeandmother
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 4/8/2011 1:33 PM (GMT -6)   
What are we supposed to do, jump off a cliff?
Be strong for others if not for yourself at this time.
Have courage. The 6 Virtues and Strengths will help alot.
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