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DaSlink
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 713
   Posted 4/11/2011 10:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Since November of 2010,when my Dx was confirmed,my head has been going in circles. With work being slow leading to me being unemployed, and this stupid disease, my mind is racing all the time.
Every waking moment is either filled with thinking about PCa or not being able to work and contribute to my house hold like I used to or should! My insurance is also tied to my ability to work. When I'm out of work,it's carried for a while with out having to contribute money,then self pay kicks in which can last for 18 months. Being out of work for 12 months out of the last 15 has put me in a mental funk. Then pour in some PCa and it's a nasty mess stewing in my brain! With out work ,I feel a lack of self worth! I know I have it better than some guys on here, but it drives me nuts at the uncertainty of it all.
Always thinking about the next treatment that may or may not come is playing games in my head. One minute I'm in a good mood,next I could just crawl some where and cry. I'm trying to keep my self busy hoping it will help and some times it does, but mostly it doesn't. I'm usually quite the jokester but that is even getting harder to do.
Maybe once I know what my next step is that'll help. But for now I'm a mental mess,and I'm as nervous as a cat near a Chinese Restaurant! ( ya don't see many of those. Hummmm!)
Thanks for letting me vent today! It's a rainy day here and that doesn't help!
Every minute you fish or ride,adds an hour to your life!

Age 52 Dx age 53 daVinci surgery
prostate volume 32 grams
Biopsy 12 cores with 7 positive
Gleason score of 7
1st PSA 38.7 10/05/2010
2nd PSA 49.9 11/23/2010
CT neg.
BS Negative
RRP on 01/25/2011
PT3a -40% involved
margin involved-Left anterior
lymph nodes -clear
1st post op PSA-0.26-03/16/11

davidg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 4093
   Posted 4/11/2011 11:22 AM (GMT -6)   
I can understand your anxiety. This is a terrible economy to be looking for work in. Having to do that while dealing with cancer makes it all the more tragic. Let's not pretend it isn't a bad situation. If I had to find a silver lining in it, it's the different perspective on life and loved ones we are presented with when facing such critical situations. Nobody can minimize the rough patch you're going through, but surely you see the beauty in life itself and your family and friends.

You shouldn't beat yourself up. Cancer isn't your fault and losing work isn't your fault either in all probability. You'll beat the cancer and find work. You'll be able to look back at this as a really rough phase in your life.

JNF
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 3745
   Posted 4/11/2011 11:42 AM (GMT -6)   
When not looking for work, do volunteer work, like Habitat for Humanity. You will be amazed at the people you will meet and may open doors as many employers like to support such charities.

You will be physically and mentally active which will get your mind off of your situation. You will also see the good of your efforts helping someone else that has a different set of problems. This is good for your self esteem, time useage, and general purpose.

It is also a resume builder because it shows that you will take charge in a positive way even during tough times. Just what most employers are looking for.
PSA 59 on 8-26-2010 age 60. Biopsy 9-8-2010 12/12 positive, 20-80% involved, PNI in 3 cores, G 3+3,3+4,and 4+3=G7, T2b.
Eligard shot and daily Jalyn started on 10-7-2010.
IMRT to prostate and lymph nodes 25 fractions started on 11-8-2010, HDR Brachytherapy 12-6 and 13-2010.
PSA <.1 and T 23 on 2-3-2011.

davidg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 4093
   Posted 4/11/2011 11:44 AM (GMT -6)   
great advice, JNF.

DaSlink
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 713
   Posted 4/11/2011 12:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I work in a skilled trade construction group. I can get an early retirement at 55,which is less than 2 years.Although I will take a percentage cut in retiring early,at 55 it will be time for me to get out. Most of the contractors don't want the older guys( over 50),because our production is not the same pace as say the younger guys.
Several things need to happen before I can retire,too many to list here. Besides having PCa,I had a Hemorrhagic Stroke in 2009 and I am considered damaged goods. Kind of a liability.All I want after 31 years is a chance too bow out gracefully.
As work increases in the area, hopefully some one will pull me off the bench and let me work my time so I can get out.It's not like it was when I got in when the elders were respected and looked after. It's a dog eat dog world and I'm wearing milk bone under ware!
I hate rainy days like this!!!
Every minute you fish or ride,adds an hour to your life!

Age 52 Dx age 53 daVinci surgery
prostate volume 32 grams
Biopsy 12 cores with 7 positive
Gleason score of 7
1st PSA 38.7 10/05/2010
2nd PSA 49.9 11/23/2010
CT neg.
BS Negative
RRP on 01/25/2011
PT3a -40% involved
margin involved-Left anterior
lymph nodes -clear
1st post op PSA-0.26-03/16/11

davidg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 4093
   Posted 4/11/2011 12:18 PM (GMT -6)   
you're young, you don't have to bow out.

I imagine people in your profession got hit hardest in the last few years. Things are already changing, albbeit too slowly.

tatt2man
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2842
   Posted 4/11/2011 12:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Daslink - I don't know if you have consider this but , is there a Home Depot nearby?
When I have gone to the job fairs and chatted with personnel , the key employees are former construction workers or contractors who use their knowledge and skills and translate that into sales for the company.
It is more of a chatty thing rather than physical or brute labour, but it can bring in an income.
Up here in Canada, our structure may be different from the ones down in the USA - but they have referral contractors as well as sales - so you could do double duty.
I know how you feel and at times it does seem to be an endless conveyor belt - with you going no where - but it doesn't have to be that way...

-RANT AWAY - do the old "Network" Peter Finch routine - " I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!!!"
-and then, catch your breath, shower, shave and put on some clean clothes, then go off and submit a resume' or two....

sincere hugs,
BRONSON

P.S. just like the ad campaign that is going around - it can apply to all sorts of people and situations - " IT WILL GET BETTER"
Age:55 -gay with spouse of 14 years, Steve -Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
PSA:10/06/09 3.86
Biopsy:10/16/09- 6 of 12 cancerous samples, Gleason 7 (4+3)
Radical Prostatectomy:11/18/09
Pathology:pT3a -Gleason 7 -extraprostatic extension -perineural invasion -prostate weight -34.1 gm
PSA:04/08/10 -0.05 -Zero Club
PSA:09/23/10 -0.05 -Zero Club
PSA:03/24/11 -0.02 -Zero Club
PSA:03/24/12- TBA

Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3732
   Posted 4/11/2011 12:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Slink,
You crack me up, even when you're down.
"It's a dog eat dog out there and I'm wearing milkbone underwear."
If you'd quit carrying a salami in your pants maybe the dogs would follow someone else.

Here are some suggestions for you:
Fix the bathroom faucet she has been bugging you about. Start thinking of building a shed out back - a nice one. Organize the tool box in the garage. Rototill the garden - this time with some peat moss! Fill in the low spot in the backyard. Change the oil in the mower and sharpen the blades. Pack up the taxes from 1995 and either throw them out or burn them in the fireplace. Grab a bottle of Manischewitz Cream White Concorde and share it with her tonight. (Don't tell her what it is. All women love it even though they say they don't. She will think it is a late harvest Riesling.)

This too shall pass.

Jeff (Got another squirrel today - 72 yards)

goodlife
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2691
   Posted 4/11/2011 2:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Jeff,

You probably got confused while you were responding and wrote down your honey do list instead.

Anyway, it's the thought that counts.

See you Friday !

Goodlife

DaSlink
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 713
   Posted 4/11/2011 8:36 PM (GMT -6)   
That WAS exactly my honey do list which is now 98% complete. Except the tax stuff,she's the accountant,I just build and fix things.
Every minute you fish or ride,adds an hour to your life!

Age 52 Dx age 53 daVinci surgery
prostate volume 32 grams
Biopsy 12 cores with 7 positive
Gleason score of 7
1st PSA 38.7 10/05/2010
2nd PSA 49.9 11/23/2010
CT neg.
BS Negative
RRP on 01/25/2011
PT3a -40% involved
margin involved-Left anterior
lymph nodes -clear
1st post op PSA-0.26-03/16/11

logoslidat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5815
   Posted 4/11/2011 9:29 PM (GMT -6)   
its rough but as they all have said in one way or another , it is a season of life, and you may have more in the long life ahead of you. You can and will beat this dis -ease. You are very fortunate to have the constuction background,Do you have contractors liscence. If not it would be a good time to get it, Ive known guy who couldn't pound a nail get them, mostly book work yea. But I would think it would be good to have. personally if I was to have some one remodel my house I would prefer the older person. Btw do they want the young ones cause they show up to work on time, take short breaks are concientious or be cause they pay them less.Believe me on this one, its a shame, but people have to pay for the integrity of the contractor. I had a total remodel inside and out and it was cost plus and the guy was pricey, this was be fore the fall. And I hated it, but you know what,That man was good. Showed up when he said, had excellent subs an did quality work. At 50 you are very much in the game. I would if its slow put out adds as a handyman. undercut the prices, er , ah sorry union guys. It will keep you busy, restore ur selfesteem, all that good stuff. You always have many ears here.
Diagnosed 8/14/09 psa 8.1 66,now 67
2cores 70%, rest 6-7 < 5%
gleason 3+ 3, up to 3+4 @ the dub
RPP U of Wash, Bruce Dalkin,
pathology 4+3, tertiary5, 2 foci
extensive pni, prostate confined,27 nodes removed -, svi - margins -
99%continent@ cath removal. 1% incont@gaspass,sneeze,cough 18 mos, squirt @ running. psa std test reported on paper as 0.0 as of 12/14/10 ed improving

DaSlink
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 713
   Posted 4/12/2011 8:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Logo;
I know you said sorry union guys but.......I am a Union Guy smhair I belong to the largest Fire Sprinkler local in the country. That's what I was referencing to as a skilled tradesman.
At age 55, I can get an early retirement and find a part time job that I like doing. The contractors prefer the younger guys because they are faster than us older ones. It's heavy and fast paced work,and with construction money as tight as it is,speed now seems to be the priority. Quantity not quality,Although our apprentices go through a 5 year training program and are the best skilled labor money can buy!
As far as home remodeling, I know enough to fix up my own home and help out the neighbors and in-laws with small tasks.
After 31 years of back breaking,heavy lifting work (which my body is paying for now),I'm ready to let it go and work for Bass Pro or some thing easy-peasy! Just got to make it to 55.
Every minute you fish or ride,adds an hour to your life!

Age 52 Dx age 53 daVinci surgery
prostate volume 32 grams
Biopsy 12 cores with 7 positive
Gleason score of 7
1st PSA 38.7 10/05/2010
2nd PSA 49.9 11/23/2010
CT neg.
BS Negative
RRP on 01/25/2011
PT3a -40% involved
margin involved-Left anterior
lymph nodes -clear
1st post op PSA-0.26-03/16/11

logoslidat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5815
   Posted 4/12/2011 9:08 AM (GMT -6)   
I wasn't suggesting that you do anything illegal or against your principles, but in a handyman situation, felt it was non-union and competitive pricing is the norm. Undercut was a poor choice of words, though acurate. Hawaii is a big union state and I know that handyman ads are up here with competitive pricing. In any case The economy is coming back here nicely with tourism up, which indicates, the economy is coming back. where are you located and is it coming back there. Hey whenever you get in a funk, take a walk, exercize, it really makes you feel better. Aloha
Diagnosed 8/14/09 psa 8.1 66,now 67
2cores 70%, rest 6-7 < 5%
gleason 3+ 3, up to 3+4 @ the dub
RPP U of Wash, Bruce Dalkin,
pathology 4+3, tertiary5, 2 foci
extensive pni, prostate confined,27 nodes removed -, svi - margins -
99%continent@ cath removal. 1% incont@gaspass,sneeze,cough 18 mos, squirt @ running. psa std test reported on paper as 0.0 as of 12/14/10 ed improving

DaSlink
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 713
   Posted 4/12/2011 12:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Logo;
Hawaii used to be in our local but not now. If work is picking up there,(commercial & industrial)I can always relocate. Ohio was the last place to slow down and it looks like the last area to pick up. We have idiot Mayors and Governors around here. Even the casinos the people in this state voted for are on hold cause the new Governor doesn't like the old ones deal. And the Major of Cincinnati wants to build a rail system that runs 10 blocks. Idiots!! yeah
Every minute you fish or ride,adds an hour to your life!

Age 52 Dx age 53 daVinci surgery
prostate volume 32 grams
Biopsy 12 cores with 7 positive
Gleason score of 7
1st PSA 38.7 10/05/2010
2nd PSA 49.9 11/23/2010
CT neg.
BS Negative
RRP on 01/25/2011
PT3a -40% involved
margin involved-Left anterior
lymph nodes -clear
1st post op PSA-0.26-03/16/11
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