Thanks, my friends, one and all.
I know there's a rougher path ahead, and I don't want to enter it in a state of such weakness, depression, and apprehension. This is the same rehab that I was in for nearly a year, 11 years ago from my previous ops and original radiation. When I stopped at the time, I was in great physical shape, that I was able to walk up all ten stories to the rehab floor without using the elevator. Last week, had lunch with my ex boss, and only walked 5 blocks, slightly uphill all the way, and almost couldn't make it, had to keep taking breaks. When I headed home, the fatigue hit me so hard, I honestly didn't think I could even make the 13 mile drive back to the house. And it put me in the hole for the next 48 hours recovering from that. I have about 2-4 hours a day of usefulness (though limited) before the fatigue overtakes me. I quit the local PT, simply because they were not equipped to handle an oncology patient, with a stoma, and culmlatvie effects of 8 ops in 2 years and my most recent radiation disaster. I would leave after a one hour session, and be in pain for the next 2 days. I finally said enough was enough, and it wasn't working. I haven't been back now for nearly 3 weeks, but I can also tell how much I need the right kind of help, because I am regressing physically.
I know, that no one but myself, can help myself at this point in this warped PC journey. I still have to be my own advocate when push comes to shove.
The other big milestone, will be when I get hooked up with a higher level medical oncologist, and lay all my cards on the table.
In my own way, I am fighting hard, but the fight is slowly erroding away from my being, and I hate it. I absolutely feel like I am losing the battle right now. Trying hard to regroup, and salvage whatever is left of my natural life. As they say, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. My life is quickly becoming a nightmare of just surviving day to day, hoping for better days.
david in sc
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06, 2/11 1.24, 4/11 3.81
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/10