I have shared with some of the guys that in some ways, the side effects of surgery, particularly the ED, has improved our relationship.
Most men fear that if they can't be the stud they once were, that their wife or partner would leave them, or the relationship they once had would suffer greatly.
Can't say there isn't some suffering, and it just ain't like it was, but in our relationship, my role as a lover has changed significantly. For 37 years, my primary goal was to get to a point where I achieved satisfaction, not really paying as much attention to where my spouse finished up.
Now, my goal is to make sure that my spouse is the one who is satisfied. I am secondary, and frankly, I usually need to satisfy myself, just because that is how it is now. Our relationship has grown, our love has become even deeper, and after just celebrating anniversary 39, have no doubt about the "til death" vow that we took will be when we separate.
The biggest support you can be to your friend is to assure him of your love and support, and that no matter what the outcomes, you will be there.
That's my 2 cents worth.
Age 58, PSA 4.47 Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic 4/14/09 Nerves spared, but carved up a little.
0/23 lymph nodes involved pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks .
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Living the Good Life, cancer free 6 week PSA <.03
3 month PSA <.01 (different lab)
5 month PSA <.03 (undetectable)
6 Month PSA <.01
1 pad a day, no progress on ED. Trimix injection
No pads, 1/1/10, 9 month PSA < .01
1 year psa (364 days) .01
15 month PSA <.01