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Four Year Radiation Results

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Posted 4/30/2011 5:47 PM (GMT -7)
I finished 86gy of radiation treatments on March 23, 2007.  My latest PSA results have arrived and they are excellent.  I'm not posting numbers because us rad guys don't go to zero.  We go to a low level and then wander around there for years if we are lucky.

I had some loose bowel issues for a couple of years, but they seem to have mostly gone away.  No ED issues which is a pleasant surprise.  No urinary issues, of course.  I suffered not at all during my treatment, unlike purgatory who had bad problems.  I mean that if I hadn't known that I was being treated - I wouldn't have known that I was being treated.  Zero problems.  Well, it was boring.

The 800 pound gorilla, of course is the death of my wife of 41 years.  I continue to struggle, but I do so with purpose and hope and support from fine humans like yourselves.  I am surrounded by high quality people.  I thank all of you for your kind words and thoughts and the prayers from you prayerful types. 

I sometimes wonder how anyone could ever laugh, or feel happy knowing that it all ends in death and sorrow.  In spite of that I continue to experience joy and happiness in my grandson and in the love and compassion that is in our sometimes miserable world.

One of the guys I fly with asked if the sorrow and misery I was experiencing was worth it.  He meant was the 41 years I got with my beloved worth the heartache.  You bet it was!

My best to all of you in your continuing struggles and joys.  I wish you the best.

Regards,

Bill

 

Posted 4/30/2011 5:54 PM (GMT -7)
It's good to see you, Bill.

Good report too. I think about my buddy a lot since Jan passed away. We all love you and are hoping that you get good days more and more.

Tony
Posted 4/30/2011 6:12 PM (GMT -7)
Bill, I struggle with the issues as you most of the time. Not much really matters anymore. It does not matter if life was good or horrible to me. In the end it will be over and you wont be conscious of anything that ever happened to you. I have young kids and I try to live for them only.
Posted 4/30/2011 6:16 PM (GMT -7)
Bill:
there are elements in life that are sweet, bitter and bittersweet...

-congrats on the good results for your PSA - I am glad you are pleased with the numbers.

-so sorry and once again, my condolences on the passing of your wife in January.
-it is still so fresh to you and I know the hurt you are feeling.

-I lost my companion, John, 15 years ago, (we had been a "couple" for 15 years -long before it was legalized in Canada) and he is still with me in my heart and spirit today.
-the ache is bittersweet when you want to reach out and share those special moments together - like your "I got good results on my PSA today..." -and they are not there to share the joy you feel...

-as time progresses, the hurt will not fade but change, it will still be there, but like waves at the shoreline, bubbling up, receding, the ebb and flow of our thoughts and our existence....

-thank you for sharing with us here at HW and letting us celebrate your joy for your good PSA and accept our condolences on your loss of your wife of 41 years.

-wishing you peace and contentment,
BRONSON

Post Edited (tatt2man) : 4/30/2011 7:32:32 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/30/2011 6:30 PM (GMT -7)
 

Jet,

Good to see you moving in an oh, so, important forward direction. You've had some great family support along the way and some good friends and forum comapnions. It is said that the happier a relationship, the more clearly we see its value even when one is gone. Hang in there and keep looking toward the sky :-) You are not alone in here.....we'll be here anytime ya need a friend.

Swim

Posted 5/1/2011 6:20 AM (GMT -7)
jetguy, first glad to hear of the good results post-radiation. That's wonderful. Losing your wife of 41 years is and will be rough, but remember to take each breath one at a time, one step forward. there's better days ahead, even if it doesn't seem possible now. The shared life and memories of your marriage is a strong bond to keep you going. I wish you well... :-)
Posted 5/2/2011 4:33 AM (GMT -7)
Hey Jetguy Bill,

We send you our love and best wishes across that sky of yours (& ours).  Enjoy that delightful grandson. I remember reading all your posts from the beginning. Thank you so much for continuing to share your journey. Take care. Lana & CJ  xxoo

Posted 5/2/2011 7:17 AM (GMT -7)
Bill, glad for your good news (esp. as the wife of a radiation survivor), and sorry about your sad news. I don't have grandchildren yet, but everyone I know who does has said they just make life worth living again. I hope so much that that continues for you.

Juliet
Posted 5/2/2011 7:47 AM (GMT -7)
Thanks for your reporting your results and the fact that you experienced very little problems from the radiation. I'm interested in hearing from people who had radiation more than 3 years ago, as I am going to have to make a decision very soon and don't really know which way to go, although I am leaning towards radiation if it available to me.

As far as you wife's passing, I know that it is very difficult. I have only been married for 21 years, but my Dad (who is 91) was married for over 61 years when my Mom and his wife died. That was three years ago. When you ask him how he is doing he always says "I'm doing the best that I can do.". And that is what he does. He appreciates the time with family, reading and eating. Time does help a bit. Best wishes to you.
Posted 5/2/2011 8:06 AM (GMT -7)

Jet, thanks for sharing your very inspiring message.  As I grow older, I find so much joy in our 7 grandchildren...it's as if the joy of having two wonderful kids of our own has now been multiplied in our old(er) age.

It's my personal belief that when death brings separation from our loved ones, the separation is only temporary and that our spirits will somehow be reunited in the afterlife.  For those who have passed on, beyond this temporal life iinto eternity, where time no longer exists, that may seem like an instant, while we who are left behind experience it as days, months, and years.  I hope and trust this is the way things work, and I choose to believe it. 

Congratulations to you on your wonderful marriage of 41 years and on your successful struggle with prostate cancer.   Your positive attitude is a testament to those 41 years.  Bill

Posted 5/2/2011 8:16 AM (GMT -7)
Bill,

You already know how I feel about your PC journey, and the loss of your beloved wife. I continue to be happy for you, and sad at the same time. I am sure you have 41 years of wonderful memories that will last throughout your life. Hope your grandson is adjusting, it's tough on the little ones too.

Your friend,

David in SC

"Where we share, our need for speed!"
Posted 5/2/2011 11:35 AM (GMT -7)
Jetguy,

Thanks for the 4 year update....very encouraging for us BT/Rad guys.

I can relate to your losing your wife. We have been married for 45 years and I would be lost without her. It's OK to mourn the loss...but spend most of your time celebrating her life. And hanging out with your grandson.

Regards,

Joe

Posted 5/2/2011 12:03 PM (GMT -7)
Bill-
I always get so excited when I see a post from you. I'm so happy that your PSA has stayed in check, but am so terribly sorry for your loss. I know how much your family means to you and can't imagine the pain you are going through. I will pray for strength and peace for you and your family. May God Bless you and Keep you during this difficult time! Give your grandson an extra squeeze from Seattle.
Posted 5/2/2011 2:01 PM (GMT -7)
jetguy,

I'm new here and just learned of the passing of your wife from reading this post. I offer my most sincere condolences, and prayers for you.
Posted 5/2/2011 5:38 PM (GMT -7)
HI, Bill. Glad to hear that you're doing well physically. I'm so sorry that you lost your wife...you miss the loved ones terribly. My dad lost mom 2 1/2 years ago after 64 yrs. of marriage and he still talks of her daily. And that's OK. Take strength from the grandchildren for they are extensions of you and your bride. Besides, the little rascals have more energy than anyone. Bless your heart.

Bob
Posted 5/2/2011 5:39 PM (GMT -7)
Bill, Congratulations and the good result and sorry about losing your wife. I have traveled that road when my wife died at the age of 28 from Lukemia. I was 29 years old at the time with two young boys. I didn't want to live but I had to because of my sons. Time is a healer and you will find peace again.
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