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Bikerider
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/9/2011 11:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Is it normal to loose your sexual drive after surgery?  I had my surgery in Dec and can achieve a semi erection but not strong enough for penatrion.  We tried the ED injections once in March and it was good for that night but I cannt seem to get excited any more even with "on lline stimulation videos".  I just dont seem to have the drive any more.  The orgasms when do have them, are less then before.  I have come to the fact that at 52 yrs old sex is over.  Even stop taking the Ceilius because its just a waste of money.  Does anyone else have this same problem? 
 
Larry

Sonny3
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 2448
   Posted 5/9/2011 12:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Larry, for what it's worth, I don't think you are going through anything that most of us here have not experienced.

I am 20 months out from surgery and just starting to see pretty good improvements in the ED arena. I can't take Cialis because it gives me such bad back pains that it is disabling. Have not tried the others yet but I am in possession of some Viagra (thanks to the guys at GFMPH Baton Rouge) and I am getting ready to give them a try.

Orgasm for me is actually more intense than before. And since there is no ejaculate to signal the end of the orgasm, it seems like it goes on quite a bit longer.

I would not throw in the towel on this. You are really just a very short time from surgery and the internal healing to the nerves and mental state take a bit longer.

Hang in there brother. Every Day is A Bonus and there are good and better days ahead for you.

There many others here that have had your thoughts and issues, I am sure they will be along shortly.

Sonny
60 years old - PSA 11/07 3.0 PSA 5/09 6.4
da Vinci 9/17/09 Post Surgery Pathology: GS 4+3=7
Stage: T3a
Tumor Volume 12.5% positive margin, extra-prostatic extension
PSA .6 IMRT completed 1/15/10 35 treatments- 70Gy
2/23/10 Post IMRT PSA 1.0
3/22/10 PSA 1.5
4/19/10 PSA 1.2
5/22/10 PSA 1.3
8/9/10 Radiation for MET
9/7/10 PSA 2.2
1/5/11 PSA 3.9
3/7/11 PSA 4.2
4/10/11 PSA 3.8

Bikerider
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/9/2011 12:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Sonny!!

logoslidat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 6075
   Posted 5/9/2011 1:03 PM (GMT -6)   
My sex drive is as potent as ever and the orgasms are in fact , I wont say better, but different in a good way. More whole body rather than genital driven. The desire factor in a non HT recovery is really in the mind. You said so yourself, your sex life is over. So shall it be written, So shall it be done. Hey i didn't invent this stuff, its real. the mind folks, the mind!!!!!
Diagnosed 8/14/09 psa 8.1 66,now 67
2cores 70%, rest 6-7 < 5%
gleason 3+ 3, up to 3+4 @ the dub
RPP U of Wash, Bruce Dalkin,
pathology 4+3, tertiary5, 2 foci
extensive pni, prostate confined,27 nodes removed -, svi - margins -
99%continent@ cath removal. 1% incont@gaspass,sneeze,cough 18 mos, squirt @ running. psa std test reported on paper as 0.0 as of 12/14/10 ed improving

NY-Sooner
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 464
   Posted 5/9/2011 2:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I was lucky and had no ED issues after my surgery, but my drive is almost zero.  My testostorone came in at 370, so it is not that. I just don't have any urges anymore. Prior to my surgery, just a thought or the sight of a beautifull woman, give me desires, now,  I can look at naked women and think about sex 24/7 and I just don't feel anything anymore, no urges or desires.  If I force myself, I can have sex and enjoy it and function normally, but I just don't have the drive like I did prior to my surgery 4 years ago.

 
Age 56, Biopsy 6/2007 - PSA 4.5, 2 of 12 with  <5% cancer Gleason 6
Surgery 9/2007 Strong Memorial,  Rochester  NY with Dr. Jean Joseph (1300 plus surgeries)
 Path - Negative margins, cancer in 20% examined tissue, Gleason 6
 Post Op - No ED issues, full erections without drugs,  used 5-7 pads a day for 3 months. Now dry except for stress leaks now and then.
 All post op psa's <.04

reachout
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 5/9/2011 2:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I lost most of my urge. I can still perform with trimix, but it's more of a performance than an urge. I think a lot of it has to do with stress and depression from this disease and how to treat it, what to eat, when to have tests done, etc. I wish I could be hyptnotized to forget about it for every 3 months between PSA tests.
Age: 66
PSA: 7 tests over 2 years bounced around from 2.6 to 5.6
Biopsy 8 of 12 positive, Gleason 3+4, T2a
DaVinci August 2009, pathology Gleason 4+3, neg margins, T2c
Continent right away, ED
Viagra, Cialis did't work, Trimix works well
Post-surgery PSA:
3, month: undetectable <.1; 6 month: undetectable <.014 (ultrasensitive); 9, 12, 15 month: undetectable <.1; 18 month detectable .05

Bikerider
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/9/2011 2:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Sounds like I'm not the only one in the boat. I kind of agree a little about it being in the head but NY-sooner summed it up good. Thats exactly how I feel, except my noodle is still limp. I can see a pretty woman next to car and be more focused on the car then her! I havent spoken to my doc yet about it, I wanted to hear from you guys first and see if it was just me or not. Perhaps in time it will change. My wife is starting to mid life change plus having "plumbing problems", so I guess its best not to have that drive.

Herophilus
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 5/9/2011 2:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Just like NY-Sooner...no ED issues, no desire, yearning.........
Hero

F8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 3989
   Posted 5/9/2011 3:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Bikerider -- there's a difference between not being able to get an erection and having no interest in women.  you may have a low testosterone count or you're depressed.  i just spent over a year chemically castrated but my interest in women and ability to have sex have returned and like you said in your first post i had doubts that i would ever recover and really wasn't that concerned about it.  good luck.
 
ed
 
 
age: 56
PSA on 12/09: 6.8
gleason 3+4 = 7
HT, BT and IGRT
received 3rd and last lupron shot 9/14/10
2/8/11 PSA <.1, T= 6 ng/dl

davidg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 4093
   Posted 5/9/2011 4:21 PM (GMT -6)   
I think you have to differentiate between ED issues and lack of desire.

For instance, although I can get full erections, I certainly am not as " into it " ( for lack of a locker room type description ) as I was before surgery.

I don't pretend to have the answer to this but I attribute it to stress, fatigue and depression.

In my case, I am very stressed because of my intense job, the 3 month PSA testing cycle ( i'm due tomorrow ) and because of my lifestyle choices so soon after surgery ( moving to a different continent )

I am fatigued because of the above and perhaps because I am still recovering from surgery.

I am depressed because I am still dealing with the fact that I have cancer.

That said, it is important to exercise our "thing" as often as possible. So lack of drive or not, I'd suggest some daily "quality time" with or without your spouse. That's my routine right now.
40 years old - Diagnosed at 40
Robotic Surgery Mount Sinai with Dr. Samadi Jan, 2011
complete urinary control and good erections with and without meds
Prostate was small, 34 grams.
Final Gleason score 7 (3+4)
Less than 5% of slides involved tumor
Tumor measured 5 mm in greatest dimension and was located in the right lobe near the apex.
Tumor was confined to prostate.
The apical, basal, pseudocapsular and soft tissue resection margins were free of tumor.
Seminal vesicles were free of tumor.
Right pelvic node - benign fibroadiopse tissue. no lymph node is identified.
Left pelvic node - one small lymph node, negative for tumor (0/1)

AJCC stage: pT2 NO MX

Radical
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 5/9/2011 4:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Ditto, Bikerider, Definitely the orgasms are not as intense as pre surgery for me either. I can now after 2 years out achieve a stuffable erection, but dont really have the same interest. I am hoping it will change, as time goes on.
Who knows.....................Cheers.

60Michael
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2243
   Posted 5/9/2011 4:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Bikerider,
That is one department that just hasnt been the same. I'm not one to give up and I can still have fun with my wife, but it remains to be seen if the good old days are gone. But that is after a bad surgery and then SRT. Just glad to be around right now. Hang in there.
Michael

reachout
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 5/9/2011 5:00 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm surprised there are so many of us with the same problem. We hear a lot about ED, and there are lots of studies and methods to help, but we don't hear too much about the lack of desire.
Age: 66
PSA: 7 tests over 2 years bounced around from 2.6 to 5.6
Biopsy 8 of 12 positive, Gleason 3+4, T2a
DaVinci August 2009, pathology Gleason 4+3, neg margins, T2c
Continent right away, ED
Viagra, Cialis did't work, Trimix works well
Post-surgery PSA:
3, month: undetectable <.1; 6 month: undetectable <.014 (ultrasensitive); 9, 12, 15 month: undetectable <.1; 18 month detectable .05

clocknut
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 2680
   Posted 5/9/2011 6:38 PM (GMT -6)   
I've also noticed a decrease in libido and have come up with a personal theory. Back in the good old days, when things worked as designed, becoming aroused resulted in a developing erection. The feeling of getting an erection reinforced the sexual desire, and as the erection reached fullness, there was no doubt in my mind that I was turned on and ready to go, and (no intent to brag here) that I had something which my wife would find sexy and desirable.

Since last August's surgery, that feedback circle has been completely broken. I may feel a bit of sexual interest, but with nothing happening down there, that interest never develops in the way it used to. I just don't get that same feeling of "manliness" for lack of a better term. It's almost as bad/good as being a eunuch in a harem. I still get to share a bed with my sexy wife, but I just don't feel very sexy. It's depressing. A night-time erection would be a very welcome experience right now, a signal of better days to come.
Age 65
Dx in June 2010.
PSA gradually rising for 3 years to 6.2
Biopsy confirmed cancer in 6 of 12 cores, all on left side
Gleason 7 (3 + 4)
Bone scan, CT scan, rib x-rays negative.
DaVinci 8/20/10
Negative margins; negative seminal vesicles
5 brothers, ages 52-67 ; I'm the only one with PCa
Continence OK after 7 weeks. ED continues.
PSA 1/3/10: 0.01

tatt2man
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2845
   Posted 5/9/2011 7:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Bikerider:
-the lack of libido and drive can be an offshoot of depression stemming from the prostate cancer diagnosis, resulting treatment and it's aftermath....
-looking at the girl in the car is a perfect example - you know what you can do with the car and are capable to do it on the spot .. the girl on the other hand, you know what you can do with the girl but have doubts on if you are capable to do it on the spot....
-"it just ain't the same"....is a mantra I have read on occasion here at HW...
-maybe a change in approach would give you a break and allow simple intimacy between you and your wife to grow - without any penetration as a goal... learn each other's body, share music, mood lighting, dating again, body massage and the like... spend time as a intimate loving couple without any time line other than enjoying the time you spend together....
-sincere hugs,
BRONSON
Age:55 -gay with spouse of 14 years, Steve -Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
PSA:10/06/09 3.86
Biopsy:10/16/09- 2 of 12 cancerous, 5% involvement -Gleason 7 (3+4)
Radical Prostatectomy:11/18/09
Pathology:pT3a -Gleason 7 -extraprostatic extension -perineural invasion -prostate weight -34.1 gm
PSA:04/08/10 -0.05 -Zero Club
PSA:09/23/10 -0.05 -Zero Club
PSA:03/24/11 -0.02 -Zero Club
PSA:03/24/12- TBA

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 5/9/2011 8:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I will have to be odd man out in this conversation. Despite my journey, my sex life is good, definitely as good as pre-surgery. No ED, no lack of desire or lust, about the same quantity of "events" as before I went through all of this. Orgasms are extremely intense and long lasting, I no longer remotely miss the lack of ejaculate. I don't have any need to do "self events".

For me, this has been the one silver lining in a very miserable PC journey, so I am thankful for what I have. Not bragging or trying to make anyone feel bad about this issue, all this stuff varies so much, guy by guy.

David in SC
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06, 2/11 1.24, 4/11 3.81
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/10

Arnie
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 374
   Posted 5/9/2011 9:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Guys......you're not nuts, and your not necessarily depressed (although that could be a cause)........I've had this problem since about 3 months post surgery. Same symptoms you all describe above. I have function, and have been able to achieve more than stuffable erection on a couple of rare occasions, but would rather watch paint dry than engage in sex. Tried every form of erotic stimulation in the book, and ---------nada!  I'm about 28 months out now, and have just started to scratch the surface of hormonal intricacies. I've been absent posting for a while, as I've been concentrating on "getting right" and then reporting back. The long story short is, my cortisol levels aren't just through the roof, they're in another galaxy. So much so, that if they continue there, adrenal fatigue and failure will occur, and if not treated, eventually can kill you........I've also been taking "T" shots; starting on 4/1 with a very conservative does of 50mg, then increased to 100 mg every two weeks, and this Friday, I'll increase to 200 mg-------"T" and cortisol are like the old Mad magazine's Spy vs Spy feature. Knocking each other around but not achieving much. If cortisol remains too high, "T" is suppressed, which is what's happening to me. I haven't found a good endocrinologist in this area, and my next move is to Johns Hopkins. I believe that getting to the root of the elevated cortisol (or stress hormone) will get my T levels back in line, and my libido will bounce back. But it's a tricky business, this stuff, and maddening.
I suggest that you guys get some hormone testing done if you haven't already. I realize that not eveybody can do that based on treatment stats and results, but it's worth looking into. BTW, we've been monitoring my PSA during supplementation ( I was on bio-identical "T" cream from January through March), and it reamins <0.1
Hope to have more to add to this saga shortly, becasue obviously, it affects quite a few of us.
 
Arnie in DE
Age 56 (biopsy & surgery)-PSA-3.9-Biopsy 8/19/08--4 of 12 cores positive; 5% involvement, Gleason 6 (3+3) 1/26/09-DaVinci Prostatectomy at Presbyterian Medical Center/HUP-Phila, PA-Dr. David Lee
Path. Report- G7 (3+4)Adenocarcinoma, no capsular involvement, seminal vesicles clear, lymph nodes clear, negative margins
Continent at 3 mos.------ED improving
PSA at 2 yrs-<0.1

DaSlink
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 713
   Posted 5/9/2011 10:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Larry, I too have been like you. Sex has really taken a back seat.The anxiety for me I think has been the killer. Hopefully it gets better.
Every minute you fish or ride,adds an hour to your life!

Age 52 Dx age 53 daVinci surgery
prostate volume 32 grams
Biopsy 12 cores with 7 positive
Gleason score of 7
1st PSA 38.7 10/05/2010
2nd PSA 49.9 11/23/2010
CT neg.
BS Negative
RRP on 01/25/2011
PT3a -40% involved
margin involved-Left anterior
lymph nodes -clear
1st post op PSA-0.26-03/16/11
2nd PSA-05/09/11-0.08

Im_Patient
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 669
   Posted 5/11/2011 10:44 PM (GMT -6)   
I think that clocknut's personal theory rings true for me as well.
I have not been able to reach orgasm with intercourse since my surgery over 3 years ago. However, I have had low testosterone levels since months before the diagnosis - actually brought me in and got my initial PSA reading to get this whole journey started off. The thing is, before the surgery, the low T was a blessing - finally I was OK with the only once-a-week schedule that my wife seemed to be OK with, rather than wanting sex a lot more often than her. Now, once every two weeks just seems to be too often for me, and I need the injections for the possibility. It seems like most of the time, I am just trying to please my wife rather than actually getting anything out of it (what a turn of events that is - she says she now realizes what she missed back when). I was on testosterone supplements starting about 2 years after surgery, which helped some, but when the recurrence happened, all thought of that stopped. I now have to figure out if I want to try supplementation again, or if that is going to be playing with fire.

It seems to me that the overabundance of men that I have heard about have significantly lower libido after surgery. I'd love to know how much of it is physiological and how much is psychological. I tend to believe there is a component of each in there.

Fortunately, you are only a few months out, so you have a long way to go before you can conclude anything about your outcome. Quite a few guys I talked to did not reach something close to "normal" until anywhere from 8 months to 1.5 years or more after surgery, so don't lose hope!
Jeff
Jeff
Gleason,3+4;PSA 7.9,Nerve-sparing RRP,03/2008(Age 48 then),pT2c, 60g, neg margins; perineural & lymphatic invasion;3 lymph nodes removed,clear; seminal vesicle invasion:absent;Gleason 4 was 5-10%; PSA <0.1 until Oct 09:0.1; retest <0.1; scans clear;monthly results from Jan 2010:0.2,.2,.17,.17,.24,.31,.29,.41, IGRT SRT started 8/4/2010, PSA@5 weeks in: .17,after:.12,.10,.06

reachout
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 5/12/2011 8:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Just saw this. Dr Walsh thinks our problem is depression.
http://urology.jhu.edu/newsletter/prostate_cancer55.php
Age: 66
PSA: 7 tests over 2 years bounced around from 2.6 to 5.6
Biopsy 8 of 12 positive, Gleason 3+4, T2a
DaVinci August 2009, pathology Gleason 4+3, neg margins, T2c
Continent right away, ED
Viagra, Cialis did't work, Trimix works well
Post-surgery PSA:
3, month: undetectable <.1; 6 month: undetectable <.014 (ultrasensitive); 9, 12, 15 month: undetectable <.1; 18 month detectable .05

davidg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 4093
   Posted 5/12/2011 8:42 PM (GMT -6)   
makes sense. Think of all the times you might have had less drive than usual prior to surgery. In my case it was always related to stress at work or mild depression over some event or another. Whenever I felt great my drive would sky rocket.
40 years old - Diagnosed at 40
Robotic Surgery Mount Sinai with Dr. Samadi Jan, 2011
complete urinary control and good erections with and without meds
Prostate was small, 34 grams.
Final Gleason score 7 (3+4)
Less than 5% of slides involved tumor
Tumor measured 5 mm in greatest dimension and was located in the right lobe near the apex.
Tumor was confined to prostate.
The apical, basal, pseudocapsular and soft tissue resection margins were free of tumor.
Seminal vesicles were free of tumor.
Right pelvic node - benign fibroadiopse tissue. no lymph node is identified.
Left pelvic node - one small lymph node, negative for tumor (0/1)

AJCC stage: pT2 NO MX

Susan R
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 5/13/2011 9:32 AM (GMT -6)   
I am not sure I should put my observations in on this thread or not, but hope you allow me to do so!

Michaels' drive has not been effected at all, he wants sex all the time. But, I can see that the lack of natural response from his penis is starting to wear on him. He will make comments "My dick just doenst work anymore" "I cant even cum, I miss my cum" We tried to have sex last night, but he didnt take is pill. So I was able to "get off" and then he was trying to have intercourse, but he just wasnt able to get hard enough to penetrate. You could physically see his disappointment. He was frustrated and not feeling very MANLY. Even though he was able to give me an orgasm, and we were "intimate" in that respect, he still in his mind feels that if he doesnt have intercourse, the sex is just not "great" I see his disappointment and frustration starting to make him feel less than. From that I believe he will begin to just give up, not try. If you cant get the desired result, why put in the effort? His thinking, definately not mine. As I read this thread, my immediate response was....you guys are thinking yourselves out of so many possibly good sensations and good experiences. It cant be an all or nothing anymore. Give yourself a break, know that you have lots of different sensations, and that you can experience good feelings, albeit maybe not intercourse without help. I think you are all too hard on yourselves. Dont get me wrong, I am sure some of you are being effected by testosterone issues, and definately get checked to make sure it is or isnt physical, but then turn around and just give yourself a break. Start at the beginning. Try to remember what it was that got you so excited when you were first getting excited by the opposite (or same) sex. Maybe remembering the simple small things about the beauty and the excitement, you may be able to get back that drive.

Hope this isnt too much info, but I think you guys are great. I think that you all deserve to have the pleasure and the intimacy in your life. It is much to important to be able to connect with another person, to give up on yourself completely!
Husband 39 at diagnosis 12/2010.
No symptoms, PSA 18 in 10/2010
one month antibiotic then PSA 12.6 in 11/2010
biopsy end of 11/2010 Gleason 6
Da Vinci prostatectomy 2/2/2011
1-2 pads per day
nocturnal erections within a month, and able to have sex with Levitra.
1st post-op PSA less than .05

staging: pT2aNo, Gleason 6

davidg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 4093
   Posted 5/13/2011 10:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Michael is a lucky man...
40 years old - Diagnosed at 40
Robotic Surgery Mount Sinai with Dr. Samadi Jan, 2011
complete urinary control and good erections with and without meds
Prostate was small, 34 grams.
Final Gleason score 7 (3+4)
Less than 5% of slides involved tumor
Tumor measured 5 mm in greatest dimension and was located in the right lobe near the apex.
Tumor was confined to prostate.
The apical, basal, pseudocapsular and soft tissue resection margins were free of tumor.
Seminal vesicles were free of tumor.
Right pelvic node - benign fibroadiopse tissue. no lymph node is identified.
Left pelvic node - one small lymph node, negative for tumor (0/1)

AJCC stage: pT2 NO MX

Arnie
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 374
   Posted 5/13/2011 11:00 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Susan......let me try to separate the wheat from the chaff (maybe i should say shaft :-) ------I have erectile function after 27-28 months post surgery, and at decent % hardness. And my wife and I are able to satisfy each other when we have sex/make love-----but my drive, my desire, is just not there no matter what. I can consciously think as I used to about what used to turn me on in a hearbeat, (and like many of us here, it didn't take much)------but there's a disconnect between the conscious thought and the chemical chain of reactions that take place hormonally. That's where "T" levels, estrogen dominance, cortisol and a whole host of other things come into play. My wife is able to fully understand, thank God, because she experienced this a few years back, when her "T" was low. I told her she just needed to "think" about what used to trun her on, that her brain was the most important sex organ, etc.-----she told me she tried, but nada!---I thought she wasn't relaxing, wasn't thinking about sex, might be depressed, didn't desire me anymore, and I was having trouble understanding. But now that we have role reversal, we both get it!---she supplemented with "T" in amounts appropriate for a woman, and the change was like night and day. She couldn't stop thinking about sex. So hormones, as you women know, play such a huge regulatory purpose within the body. It's only now, and largely due to us post-treatment PCa guys, that low "T" and other hormones are getting their due notice for men.

Arnie in DE

 


davidg
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 4093
   Posted 5/13/2011 11:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Arnie - I also have no issues at all with getting erections but my desire is not what it was before knowing I got cancer. say that rather than pre surgery because that's when it changed for me. I really think stress, anxiety and depression affect libido greatly. Add to that possible nerve damage/recovery and what we make of it all mentally and it's a quagmire.

But Susan is right, there is so much we can do anyway.

It's our ego to a great degree dictating how we perceive our current situation. Prior to surgery, my only concern during intimacy was always to make sure my wife "got off". As all men now, this can be achieved with any woman in multiple ways. Now, I can still "get her off" in multiple ways, but on those occasions where I cannot perform exactly as I would have before surgery ( it's still more mechanic now for now) and am forced to learn new things that will work if something were to change, I get down on myself just like Susan's husband. I know exactly the feeling she describes and I can get erections, there just not generated as they used to be from mental stimulus.

My wife is very much like Susan and both Michael and I are lucky to have that because this, like everything else related to this disease is process driven.
40 years old - Diagnosed at 40
Robotic Surgery Mount Sinai with Dr. Samadi Jan, 2011
complete urinary control and good erections with and without meds
Prostate was small, 34 grams.
Final Gleason score 7 (3+4)
Less than 5% of slides involved tumor
Tumor measured 5 mm in greatest dimension and was located in the right lobe near the apex.
Tumor was confined to prostate.
The apical, basal, pseudocapsular and soft tissue resection margins were free of tumor.
Seminal vesicles were free of tumor.
Right pelvic node - benign fibroadiopse tissue. no lymph node is identified.
Left pelvic node - one small lymph node, negative for tumor (0/1)

AJCC stage: pT2 NO MX
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