You often touch on the one aspect of PCa that usually ends up the 500lb. gorilla in the room, and that's the metaphysical questions that we all deal with at one time or another, but can't talk about in a civil manner here on the site.
I say "metaphysical" rather than "spiritual," but in some ways they're sort of the same thing. I mean the questions beyond medicine, such as "why me?" and "what happens to me if this kills me?" and what happens after I die? I know for a fact that for many men these metaphysical questions cause more anguish than the physical aspects, and I guess each of us finds answers in various ways that appeal to us, whether in a religious set of beliefs or in some completely secular a-theistic world view.
It just makes me feel good to see that you continually find a way to come to terms with the disease, and that it actually seems to have forced you to examine your life and your way of living, make adjustments, and move on.
There's more to having cancer than PSA numbers, treatment options, radiation, surgery, urination, defecation, impotence, and all that physical stuff. It affects our bodies, and it affects our spirits, and I have to say that your account of journey elevates my spirit every time I read your accounts. Hang tough, and I hope the numbers stay good for you.
Dx in June 2010.
PSA gradually rising for 3 years to 6.2
Biopsy confirmed cancer in 6 of 12 cores, all on left side
Gleason 7 (3 + 4)
Bone scan, CT scan, rib x-rays negative.
Negative margins; negative seminal vesicles
5 brothers, ages 52-67 ; I'm the only one with PCa
Continence OK after 7 weeks. ED continues.
PSA 1/3/10: 0.01