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Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 3172
   Posted 6/23/2011 8:24 PM (GMT -6)   

I’d like to share the link to “Five Wishes” with all of you. 

Some of you may have already filled one out.  Others may merely be familiar with it.  Others of you may already have pieces of your own version of the “Five Wishes” filled out.  But I suspect that many of you are unfamiliar with the “Five Wishes” and many of you have not had the conversations about the topics covered in “Five Wishes.”

“Five Wishes” is a comprehensive document which helps you to express how you want to be treated if you are seriously ill and unable to speak for yourself.  Once completed, it also serves as a legal document in 42 states.  Most importantly it helps get a very important, but very difficult, conversation started…

Here are the “Wishes” that the document guides you through:

·         Wish 1: The Person I Want to Make Health Care Decisions for Me When I Can't

·         Wish 2: The Kind of Medical Treatment I Want or Don’t Want

·         Wish 3: How Comfortable I Want to Be

·         Wish 4: How I Want People to Treat Me

·         Wish 5: What I Want My Loved Ones to Know


Save up your milk money because the “Five Wishes” costs a whole $5 to purchase.

I can’t remember exactly where or when I was first exposed to “Five Wishes”, but at this point I am very thankful that my wife and I worked our way through it.  Let me just say that it is never too early to start

Rather than attempt to describe it further, check it out HERE.

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 6/23/2011 8:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Excellent post Casey.

it's a great website that has some very difficult things lumped together.

Advanced Prostate Cancer at age 44 (I am 48 now)
pT3b,N0,Mx (original PSA was 19.8) EPE, PM, SVI. Gleason 4+3=7

Da Vinci Surgery ~ 2/16/2007
Adjuvant Radiation Therapy ~ IMRT Completed 8/07
Adjuvant Hormone Therapy ~ 28 months on Casodex and Lupron.
Undetectable PSA.


English Alf
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2218
   Posted 6/24/2011 3:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, it's a sensible approach towards a hard-to-discuss topic.

My mother was a nurse specially trained in the care of the dying and my sister is a nurse in a hospice, so I often heard and hear about this side of things from the other direction. My advice would be that it is best to have something down on paper.

Thinking of all those tackling this.

Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4849
   Posted 6/24/2011 3:54 AM (GMT -6)   
"In the other eight states your completed Five Wishes can be attached to your state’s required form.
Unlike most other states, Texas requires you use a statutory state form to express your personal wishes."
The site links to the free Texas form... I've been meaning to get my affairs in order for a long time...
I used to tell anyone that would listen that if and when I reach the point of not being to wipe my own you know what - PULL THE PLUG.

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 6/24/2011 1:46 PM (GMT -6)   
A Living Will and a Medical Power of Attorney serves these purposes, and varies from state to state as to what is required, most attorney's charge little for doing up the paperwork, even some low cost do-it-yourself kits online.
Age: 58, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 7 of 7 Positive, 40-90%, Gleason 4+3
open RP: 11/08, on catheters for 101 days
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incont & ED: None
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12, 4/8 .04, 8/6 .06, 2/11 1.24, 4/11 3.81, 6/11 5.8
Latest: 6 Corr Surgeries to Bladder Neck, SP Catheter since 10/1/9, SRT 39 Sess/72 gy ended 11/09, 21 Catheters, Ileal Conduit Surgery 9/10

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 6/25/2011 1:09 PM (GMT -6)   
OK so who can't get it out of their heads SNL: 'Steve Martin's Five Wishes For Christmas' ... when you saw the topic name here ???

I know I can't!

A bit of levity into a serious topic.

Then again there is the wish about the Sex ..... with Trimix we can do that!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 3172
   Posted 6/25/2011 10:58 PM (GMT -6)   

Purgatory is correct, the power of attorney was legally fulfilled in Wish 1 (Person I Want to Make Health Care Decisions for Me When I Can't).  Also, a living will is a sub-set of Wish 2 (The Kind of Medical Treatment I Want or Don’t Want)…but frankly those were the easy sections to fill out.

Wishes 3, 4 and 5 are what makes “Five Wishes” unique in that they address matters of universal comfort, care, spirituality, forgiveness, and final wishes.  These were the difficult discussions I previously spoke of.

“Five Wishes” has been described in the Miami Herald as the "living will with a heart and soul."


My wife spent the last 16 days in the hospital and has now come home on hospice care.  Her cancer has won the war.  She is 51.

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 6/25/2011 11:09 PM (GMT -6)   

I was only addressing 1 & 2, I should have specified that. It's amazing how many people don't have that on record.

So sorry to hear about your wife. I grieves me just thinking about that situation. I would be besides myself if I were in your shoes. She is very young to be dealing with something so serious and threatening. I personally only wish, her, you, and your extended family, nothing but positive thoughts, hopes, and prayers. I can only offer your my support, and I am certain the brethren and sisters here too will as well.

David in SC

Post Edited (Purgatory) : 6/25/2011 10:12:43 PM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 288
   Posted 6/25/2011 11:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Casey, hard to find words. We'll always be together with our loved ones.

Our best to you and your wife,
Dx 8/08 Pre-op psa 4.2, Age 60, 7 of 12 biopsies 3+3
DaVinci LRP 11/08, - margins, - EPE, vascular or perineural. Gleason 3+4=7, 5-10% of 4.
3 mo psa .1 2/09, 6 mo .1 5/09, 9 mo .2 8/09
broke ankle bones 6/09, 9/21/09 Bone scan clear, psa still .2
01/05/10 psa .3, SRT 01/19/10 start 39 sessions 70.2gy, psa @ 6 wks into IMRT .4; Post SRT psa @ 10 wks (5/10) .2, @20 wks .1, @8 mo .1, @13 mo <.1

James C.
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4463
   Posted 6/26/2011 7:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Casey, it is always painful to hear such news, both to the family and others, like us, who are told. We sometimes don't know what to say or do when told such, but know that we do care and are supporting her and you with thoughts, prayers, and remembering daily of her and your struggle to deal with this tragic time.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 486
   Posted 6/26/2011 9:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Casey,  I'm very sorry to hear the sad news about your wife.
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