Hi guys & girls,
When i was first diagnosed i decided to keep an online diary but for an odd reason. I have had a few accidents and lots of surgery in the past and i know from experience that my mind has an unusual self defence system. When i go through bad stuff, my mind supresses things and afterwards i have blanks in my memory or my wife says i remember things differently to how they actually were and i did not want that this time.
I am not being negative here but i decided i actually wanted to be able to remember the crap and considered it disrespectfull to those around me who witnesssed or went through the bad times with me, for my mind to then blank them out. So i did my diary, every day at first but less later on as times became easier. Every so often i go back and read it all and find it to be a BIG reallity check as it reminds me how fragile we are yet how strong we also are to over come the fragility.
Everytime i updated my diary i would post the link into my facebook account so that my friends and family could keep up with what was happening and their support was amazing, i did ask my wife to do my being in hospital and coming home page as my mind was not capable of sorting itself out to remember things that had happened clearly enough.
I would recommend this to anyone as a way of getting through this, as i find that i often sat with my laptop with no idea what to type but gradually the words came out and as they did, the tension and negative emotions would also be released. By typing it all out and then reading it through before submitting it, it allowed me to come to terms to what was happening in my body, in my mind and in my family and it became a tool to help me get through the bad days and find or create more GOOD days.
One final note to the moderators ......... is it ok to put a link to my diary in my signature ??
The sun is shining here so the crazy English guy says GO and enjoy the day, Bob
Prostate problems since early 40s
Ed since early 40s
April 2007 biopsy & all clear
July 2010 prostate swollen more, psa up to 5.6 August 6.7
September, biopsy again
October 7th diagnosed prostate cancer, Gleason grade 6 at 10% mass
December 13th 2010
open Radical Proctatectomy (non nerve sparing)
Pathology results came back Gleason grade 7 at 12% mass BUT clear margins
Catheter out Jan 5th 2011
Caverject for penile therapy 22nd Jan 2011
Dry at night since 1st Feb 2011
Psa at 3 months post op is now 0.03
Dry in day and pad free from 16th April 2011 :))