Sometimes our spouses mirror our reactions. Men have a tendency to deal with things in a solitary fashion. The quiet, stoic thing.
You need to talk to your wife more than you ever have. Get her involved here on HW. We have some wonderful wives here who she can talk to.
As has been mentioned, I think asking her doctor for a sleep aid, mood elevator, anti- depressant, or whatever He/she thinks appropriate is a good idea. If she is not getting sleep, every thing looks and feels worse.
In my opinion, tbe surgery is the easiest part of PC. It is a relatively safe procedure, with few bad side effects other than tbe ED, and incontinence. It is dealing with the side effects, the watching the PSA, and the changes in your sex life, your daily life, and your mental outlook.
Hopefully you have a support group in your family, church, social group, etc, that can help you through these tough times. I am glad you are on HW. Don't be affraid to email members directly when you don't want to say something in public. We have some really great guys here.
Good luck to you and your wife.
Age 58, PSA 4.47 Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic 4/14/09 Nerves spared, but carved up a little.
0/23 lymph nodes involved pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks .
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Living the Good Life, cancer free 6 week PSA <.03
3 month PSA <.01 (different lab)
5 month PSA <.03 (undetectable)
6 Month PSA <.01
1 pad a day, no progress on ED. Trimix injection
No pads, 1/1/10, 9 month PSA < .01
1 year psa (364 days) .01
15 month PSA <.01