While I cannot fathom how you can approach these events with total equanimity, I also do not play the what-if game at all. That is not part of my psyche.
In fact, I know I made the right choice of tx. so far despite the fact that they haven't worked. I consulted the best, did a lot of research, agonized over making some decisions, but never looked back. That is negative energy.
I don't believe it is negative energy to look back and examine our past decisions, about
treatment for PCa, or about
any other part of our lives for that matter. Life is a continual learning experience and examining carefully one's past decisions is important because it may give guidance as to how to proceed, ie. how to avoid similar mistakes in the future. Looking back is vitally important in my opinion because it may well reveal flaws in the logic and faulty rationale that led to mistakes, and dealing with those decisions is a necessary path to move on. Awareness of my mistakes in life is a strong motivator for me to avoid similar behavior in the future.
PCa diagnosed 2009 at age 65
Stage: T2c, Gleason: 9 (4 + 5), 6 of 6 cores positive. Bone, CAT and MIR scans negative.
Treatment: brachytherapy (103 palladium), 100 gy (11/2009) + IMRT, 45 gy (3/2010) + HT
PSA at diagnosis -- 11.9, 10/2009 -- 5.0 , 12/2009 -- 0.56
5/2010 -- 0.15, 8/9/2010 -- 0.06 , 11/2010 -- 0.013
2/25/2011-- 0.005, 5/27/2011--0.003, 8/27/2011-- 0.003
Post Edited (Sancarlos) : 4/23/2012 6:42:32 PM (GMT-6)