Hope things go well for you. As for bladder spasms, any thought of "Vesicare"? It worked for me when a nearby cancerous tumor started invading my bladder--calmed it down.
As for the "lazy" oncologist--my dad was an Annapolis man, and especially as a first-year Plebe, he was besieged by upper classmen demanding "knowledge" beyond his present expertise. The answer "I don't know, SIR" was not acceptable. "I don't know, SIR, BUT I'LL FIND OUT" was the ONLY acceptable answer!! Such should be the oncolgogist's answer!!