Peter's comment was right at the heart of it. I can say without question that there are things I "talk" about
here that have never passed my lips. Even the GFMPH guys haven't heard it all, and perhaps would not want to.
The biggest issue I had was accepting in reality what I already knew was coming - a "new normal", as someone described it to me before surgery. The real problem with that is that we don't know what the "new normal" will be composed of until months or possibly years after surgery (incontinence, ED, bowel issues, piling on the SEs of RT, HT).
Some simple examples -
I live alone, with no family nearby. I stocked up on things I might need, knowing I would not be allowed to drive for weeks after surgery. I bought a large bottle of apple cider. I did plan to some degree, making sure that the container was plastic. I did not plan for the fact that I was unable to pick up the container. That attempt left me in the floor, in screaming pain, and without anyone to help me back up. Fortunately I was not injured, but it did take crawling to a chair so that I could find something to use to get up again. After that I called a friend who came over and helped me clean up the aftermath and reorganize a bit.
I could not step over the tub side to take a shower (it is difficult for an able person). I had to get a friend to go to the store to buy a stool to help me get into the tub.
I spent five months in Depends pants & pads.
And so on ....
All extremely demoralizing. I screamed at the TV, the only other option being my friends, who I knew I could not alienate, having had my driver's license held by the surgeon's office, if I wanted anything from the store
Can't imagine if I had family at home to take the abuse. They would probably have left for the coast.