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How many of you have sons?

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81GyGuy
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2012
Posts : 3531
Posted 12/1/2012 10:49 AM (GMT -8)
In view of the importance of family history as a factor in PCa, I was just wondering how many of you have sons, and what, if any, efforts you may have already made to make them aware of what they need to think about in terms of their own futures.

I have two sons, both young men in their thirties, who, seeing what has happened to their dad, are already very well aware that they will need to start getting their own PSA tests done on a regular basis, and probably soon. They should start doing this to establish baselines for themselves, if nothing else.

I am just curious as to what others are doing, and how you all would answer these questions:

(1) how old should your son(s) be when you talk to them about this?

(2) how much of your own PCa experience so far have you/would you share with them? (Personally, I have told my own sons everything so far)

(3) do you think a one-time talk is enough, or should there be follow-up conversations with them now and then?

Opinions?
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Cajun Jeff
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2009
Posts : 4175
Posted 12/1/2012 11:23 AM (GMT -8)
I have 1 son on his 32 birthday he told his Dr that his Dad wanted him to run a PSA. The Dr asked and my son told him of our family history of PCa. Dr said "real smart to start checking you. We will run the PSA every year at your physical. The line of communication between myself and my son is quite open and direct.

It is comforting to know that he is taking care of that.

Cajun Jeff
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Susan R
Veteran Member
Joined : Dec 2010
Posts : 511
Posted 12/1/2012 11:36 AM (GMT -8)
We have 2 sons, but they are still young, 11 and 8 years old. As for talking to your son/s, Ours have been very aware of what has and is going on with Michael and we talk very openly. I have told them many many times that they now have a higher risk of getting PCa and that when they are older they need to make sure they get tested young (30s) and every year after that. This is something I will probably bother them about for the rest of my life. I feel very strongly that you should talk to your sons and make sure they are getting tested, ask about their PSA and all the emotion that goes along with every single test.

I am sure my answer doesnt help too much due to having young children and not adult children. But would be interesting to see how many here have sons.

thank you for sharing, I hope you get the direction you are looking for.
Susan
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81GyGuy
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2012
Posts : 3531
Posted 12/1/2012 12:22 PM (GMT -8)
Susan R. -

Thanks for sharing.

I guess what I'm really after in starting this thread is just to make sure I've thought of everything in stressing the importance of testing to my boys. I thought asking the rest of you about it might bring up some ideas I haven't thought to mention to them.

Here's what I'd really like to see happen! Within the next 10-15 years, maybe, just maybe, there might be a major breakthrough in PCa treatment that might make things like PSA testing much less important, maybe even moot.

Now wouldn't THAT be something!

If that happens, with your boys the ages you mention, maybe they (and you) will never even have to worry about this!
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A Yooper
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2012
Posts : 2149
Posted 12/1/2012 1:29 PM (GMT -8)
My son is 32, and I had a one on one with him after my Brachy in September. I told him to discuss PSA testing with his family physician to see what he thinks about when to get a baseline done. My son and I are very close on this as I gave him all of the details about my Dx, my journey to learn about the beast and treatment options and so on. If I get the slightest incling that his Dr is clueless about PCa after his next physical I WILL get more active.

Hope this helps.
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gunfighter
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2012
Posts : 1249
Posted 12/1/2012 1:51 PM (GMT -8)
81 GyGuy--Lieutenant--My 2 boys are in their 40's and have been informed of the importance of annual testing--their wives have been informed by me also. The USPSTF's recommendation of "NO SCREENING" to include those at "risk" is largely being ignored by civilian hospitals but is a "mandate" to federal medical facilities..Veterans are no longer being screened by psa or dre's..This fact came to light recently in the Veterans Benefit Network Forum when a member was not screened and not told he was not being screened as in the past..When he requested the test he was refused. Approximately 1,000 members viewed all comments on this post to include mine so the word is getting around..There are other members on this forum that are "outraged" by the recommendation and will do everything in their power to have it overruled as will I...
I have published articles in our local newspaper but believe it is time to take action through political channels..In a few years "lawsuits" will be submitted by veterans who now present with late stage pca that could have been detected and cured in its earlier stages: however, I cannot wait for this fiasco to take place...If you have any recommendations, I would appreciate them!! This is the same task force that was overruled on its recommendation of "no Screening for women in their 40's for breast cancer..It can be done.
Bill
Age 70 now--A "seasoned vet"
Dx'd--Sept 2010--Psa 4.89 Stage 3 high risk gleason 8 (5 cores) and 4 gleason 7's out of 10 cores with high volume and ece.
Completed 79.2g's IMRT Feb 2011--3 years lupron and 1 year to go...06 after radiation and now<.03
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81GyGuy
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2012
Posts : 3531
Posted 12/1/2012 2:17 PM (GMT -8)
Captain -

I couldn't agree with you more. How long is the outrage over the recommendation by that "panel" going to go on?

This is exactly the kind of thing that does not help in the matter of getting our young men into a necessary and healthful pattern of proper physical exams on a regular basis. The government (and its "panels") needs to encourage them to take care of their health, not put obstacles in their path.

You're right, it's going to take political action to reverse this craziness. I guess we can't get too much into that topic here because of list rules, but so many of us here are with you on that. Let's just sum it up by saying there are some things we all can do, and, like you, I intend to do my share.
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Susan R
Veteran Member
Joined : Dec 2010
Posts : 511
Posted 12/1/2012 2:26 PM (GMT -8)
off topic of the thread, but.....not all military dr or facilities are following that recommendation. Michael was tested through his physical for his retirement. The Dr he had for this exam just happened to run the PSA and it came back high for a 39 year old. Due to that DR requesting the test, at Ft Bragg, Womack hospital, he was diagnosed early and has had surgery. So I agree with you that it is completely an outrage that the government has gotten rid of the testing, but I dont think all in the military community feel this is right and they are not following it. Thank God for those who think on their own.

This does need to be changed, men need to be tested on a regular basis. Good for you with trying to get the info out there. Not sure what I could do but let me know if you think of anything and I will see what I can do.
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gunfighter
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2012
Posts : 1249
Posted 12/1/2012 3:10 PM (GMT -8)
Susan,
I am so glad that you had an outstanding Doctor..Yes, some VA's have not fully implemented the recommendation: As an example, my VSO had a psa test 2 months ago..Currently at my VA, screening is highly discouraged but it's at the doctor's call. This is unofficial since the VA won't tell me what their current protocol is and my doctor merely handed me a 1 page letter from the chairman of the task force and changed the subject..
Again, I'm happy for you!!!!!
Bill
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Big Mac
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2012
Posts : 2036
Posted 12/1/2012 3:29 PM (GMT -8)
I have 2 sons. I have told both of them to be aware of my disease and to establish a base line PSA when they get older.

I am a recovering alcoholic, sober 23 years, and have told my sons also to be aware that it is a family disease and that they need to know that alcoholism is in their genes on both sides of their family.
I did this when I first got sober and now my oldest son is a full blown alcoholic.

You can talk and preach and show them what they need to do but everyone makes their choices.

I just found out this week that my oldest son went back to drinking after 5 months of sobriety so I am not in the best frame of mind right now. I was told many years ago that some people NEED to experience their own pain before they are ready. I guess my son hasn't had enough pain yet.

Good luck to everyone with their sons.

Bill
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F8
Veteran Member
Joined : Feb 2010
Posts : 5714
Posted 12/1/2012 3:52 PM (GMT -8)
You can talk and preach and show them what they need to do but everyone makes their choices.

yep, you can only carry the message, not the drunk cool .

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Purgatory
Elite Member
Joined : Oct 2008
Posts : 25448
Posted 12/1/2012 5:32 PM (GMT -8)
My oldest son is 35, he will have his first PSA test this year, to set a baseline. My youngest son is 29, he promises to have his baseline also done at 35. They are fully aware and in tune with my world of PC, and are more than willing to keep themselves as safe as possible..

david
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Ralph Alfalfa
Regular Member
Joined : Nov 2008
Posts : 469
Posted 12/1/2012 6:23 PM (GMT -8)
Two sons, 34 and 30, the older son started getting tested 2 yrs. ago, at my insistence, and fortunately my PCP is his, also, so he knew the history. The younger son will be tested at his yearly physical. He works for a local fire dept. and I don't know their policy on PSA's for younger guys, but you can bet that I'll find out and we'll see where it goes from there. I've been itching for a scrap lately (must be my holiday spirit) and I would love to not tangle horns with them if it can be avoided. If they refuse, then it's off to the PCP again for a test. I would have to think that the FD would allow the test because of all the vet fire fighters they employ. Not a whole lot of younger guys there.
Bob
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Pratoman
Forum Moderator
Joined : Nov 2012
Posts : 9320
Posted 12/1/2012 7:29 PM (GMT -8)
I have not been diagnosed, but my father was. When he was diagnosed, i don't know that there even was a PSA test, and he never discussed it with me. He was very ill otherwise by the time he was diagnosed, though, with heart problems, kidney problems, and dementia.
My son is 32 will be 33 in a few months. I did tell him that i needed to be biopsied. I didn't make too big a deal about it, because he is very paranoid about health issues. However i made the point that its in our family and that when he is 40 at the latest, he should start getting PSA tests. Should i be diagnosed in the future, before he turns 40, i will tell him it should happen sooner.
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Swimom
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2006
Posts : 1732
Posted 12/1/2012 8:25 PM (GMT -8)
Our son is 24. We've always been proactive in educating, Chris, about self checking after, Paul, had testicular cancer at 38. The Doc's told us then, that 38 was older than normal for the type of cancer he had. With that in mind, we started our son on self testing monthly at the young age of seven. I can only hope he continues.  

What about PCa though? Paul was 48 when he was diagnosed. Even though the oncologists believe PCa was a secondary tumor, a result of radiation treatment from the TCa, I still worry a little. Given Paul's young age at diagnosis, any thoughts on when our son should begin testing? Studies do seem to suggest, the younger the father at diagnosis, the younger a son may be.

Swim

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hawkgfr
Regular Member
Joined : Jul 2012
Posts : 98
Posted 12/1/2012 8:39 PM (GMT -8)
I have two sons and they both were told of the risks as soon as I knew.....They are 34 and 32...
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English Alf
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2009
Posts : 2237
Posted 12/2/2012 1:02 AM (GMT -8)
My son is 25, he was 21 when I was diagnosed.
We talked, and trust him to do the right thing in the future. (He's a great deal more intelligent than I am).
Alf
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Dreamerboy
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2011
Posts : 601
Posted 12/2/2012 6:34 AM (GMT -8)
My son is 23. I don't think it's worth him freaking out about getting the disease at his age but I do think it would be worthwhile for him to adapt some healthy lifestyle changes. He's currently overweight, eats a high fat diet and minimal vegetables. I don't expect any radical changes, like vegetarianism, but I have talked to him and suggested he add more vegetables to his diet and incorporate a little exercise into his regime. I've explained that high-fat diets, reduced vegetable intake and being overweight are all suspected as factors that increase the risk of getting prostate cancer. So far he doesn't appear to be heeding my advice.
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Pratoman
Forum Moderator
Joined : Nov 2012
Posts : 9320
Posted 12/2/2012 7:10 AM (GMT -8)
@swimom....
24 is young, and seems to me why worry him now. But when he gets to 30, i would make sure he is educated, and knows enough so that the its in his medical record. And if it were my son, with the family history, i would urge him to get his first PSA done at 35, latest.
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Casper319
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2011
Posts : 771
Posted 12/2/2012 8:37 AM (GMT -8)
I'm thinking the VA is totally different than active duty and tricare for retired military. Retired military are required to pay into tricare and get the same care as active duty....only difference is they have a premium...although its small.

I was called in for my 50 yr physical and that was my first PSA thru the military...they told me 50 is the normal age they test at. They also said my 2 sons who are still in their 20's can get one at 40 because of high risk. VA seems to be on a totally different set of rules.
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John T
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2008
Posts : 4315
Posted 12/2/2012 9:29 AM (GMT -8)
I have two sons, 40 and 38. My 40 year old has had a baseline psa test and I will pay for a psa test for my other son when he turns 40, since my wife has had BC and I have PC, this puts them into a high risk catagory.
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Passages
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2012
Posts : 695
Posted 12/2/2012 12:25 PM (GMT -8)
We have three sons from 36-40. All have been advised but, as many of you have said; they will have to decide to take it from there. My husband's was caught by a required yearly check up for his company. Two of my son's companies don't seem to require that, but will have that discussion with them. They also do not go to the doctor unless desperately ill - like their mom, except for mammograms; so harder to get them to go.

My two cents on the recommendations against early testing is that I would rather have false positives than too late to stop/treat as easily.
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81GyGuy
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2012
Posts : 3531
Posted 12/2/2012 1:19 PM (GMT -8)
All -

Thanks to everyone who has responded so far. I think this thread really has been useful, and I know I have learned a few more things about this topic from your responses.

It seems to me that one of the common elements running through a number of your posts is that, as much as we as parents still like to think of our children as our "kids," they really are adults who ultimately need to and will be making their own choices for their own lives.

I do believe that my own boys really do "get it." They understand that this is serious business, and it really is in their own best interests to take care of this business here. But that is something they will have to do for themselves

It's just that, as Dad, I still have that old urge to protect them, even though they're grown men.

But that goes with the territory when you're a parent.
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Snowbound
Regular Member
Joined : Jun 2011
Posts : 224
Posted 12/2/2012 2:37 PM (GMT -8)
I have two boys 12 and 15 so it's a bit early for them. When they're older I'll get on their case about getting tested. When I was first diagnosed my older boy was worried about getting it himself but I managed to convince him he had a few good years ahead of him yet.
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Infohound
Regular Member
Joined : May 2012
Posts : 232
Posted 12/2/2012 6:12 PM (GMT -8)
Our boys (11, 10 and 7) don't know many details of their dad's cancer right now. They know he has cancer, but we both felt like we should prevent it from stealing more of their childhoods than necessary, so we haven't belabored how serious it is.

But without question, when they're adults, they'll absolutely know what they need to do to minimize their risks. And we're attempting to adapt diets in our house to give them the taste for and familiarity with foods that will improve their health (prostate and otherwise).

I hope we're both around to make sure PSA testing is vigilantly monitored, etc., but in case we aren't that lucky, Ted has made me promise I will nag the boys into the monitoring that will reduce the odds they ever get the terrible prognosis he was given (his PSA was tested annually, but his doctor told us all was well and we took his word for it -- only now do I see the flag should have been raised years ago, when this could have been an inconvenience rather than darn close to a death sentence).
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