I was sorry to read about your mom's problems when I returned to the forum after my surgery. I have been my mother-in-law's primary caregiver since her first stroke more than 5 years ago. We've been the same route as you- she wants to be 'home'- and the times she's HAD to be in rehab/nursing centers she has become very withdrawn, refused to participate in activities- won't socialize at all. I fully understand your concerns. When she broke her hip last year, I tried to convince the family that she needed to be in an assited living center- even though I wasn't sure how we could afford it. We compromized by converting what had been the den (originally the carport) of her house into an efficiency apartment ofr her and our son and (now) daughter-in-law moved into the rest of the house. she has a microwave, a very small freezer/frige, a sink, a hospital bed, an accessable shower and toilet and a well desigend closet. She can do most things safely for herself and my job is actuallly a bit easier. She is now compliany about wearing her medical alert button and (mostly) lets me do the cleaning and laundry. Our son and his wife keep an eye on her, too. She is a wonderful lady (and my best friend) but I worry ab out her still. Maybe when your mom gets better, you can find a compromize too.
My prayers for you, your wife, and now you mom, continue.
Hubby's details- Age 57
8/27/12 PSA 81 8/30/12 Gleason 5+4=9 8/8 cores+ 9/5/12 bone scan & ct negative DaVinci surgery 10/9/12 Final stats- G 4+5=9 T3a N0Mx tumor both lobes, size 3.3x3.2x2.6x , positive margins extensive perineural invasion, extracapsular extension, no lymph node or seminal vessical involvement
11/21/12 1st post-op PSA 3.8 CT -lymph node involvement 12/7/12 HDT start