Well, I was scheduled for surgery today and backed out at the last minute. I should have listened to my inner voice last week, and followed the "when in doubt don't do it" rule. Believe it or not, I actually got past hospital admitting before I called it all off. It was really embarrassing and I made a fool of myself, but my surgeon was very understanding. He would have been justified to dump me, but actually he told me that whatever I wanted to do, he would stick with me, but he thought I needed a little downtime. Amazing guy, my surgeon. He's a high volume surgeon, does about 400 da Vinci's a year, and has a total of over 2000 under his belt.
I just can't get my psyche around the idea of getting rid of my prostate. It's been really tough for me the past 4 months. I've done a lot of research, talked to 5 doctors, including a radiation oncologist and 4 urologists, done a lot of research online, and the more I learn the more confused I get, and the tougher it is to make a decision. Although I have pretty much ruled out radiation because long-term side effects appear to be about the same as surgery, and I don't want to cook the surrounding tissue and organs.
I'm lucky in that I appear to have low-volume disease, with one or two low-percentage positive cores at biopsy, depending on which lab you talk to. Age 53, staged Gleason 6, T2A, PSA at Dx was 2.0. Right now I'm considering trying AS just to see if I can deal with it mentally. I figure that if I try AS and it gives me too much anxiety I will go ahead with surgery. Maybe I should have tried AS before I even thought about surgery, but I think when I was diagnosed most of the doctors I talked to thought AS was not a good idea for me, and I was ignorant at the time, so I just accepted their input. Now that I've done more research I think AS might work for me -- for a while -maybe only a short while.
Anyway, I guess I just wanted to vent. It's been a rough day. I just hope I can get this worked out soon so I can have some peace of mind.