Welcome, Another 9 here... well actually 10 but who's counting.
Based on my stats, like JNF, there is more possibility that the cat is already out of the bag. So why do the surgury with less chance of a cure>? Doesn't hurt for a second, third or forth opinion.
I to was scared, hell, I'm still scared but a bit more educated. As you will be in the upcoming months to follow.
You have lots to think about and many choices to make. Get a good support group. My wife goes with me to every appointment taking notes and asking questions. You should have someone with you as well.