I am so glad that you have come to realize that what you are going through happened to the majority of us. It is devastating news, it is hard to cope with, it is hard for our loved ones to cope with, especially our spouses who have compassion or not. I am in your same boat and so the road is lonely at times.
This site is amazing for brotherhood support. I was at the very low point you are in right now a couple of years ago and reached out to validate if what I was feeling was typical. Hence my tagname Devastated1. All I had to say at my cancer clinic was that I needed help, I was really down and the oncologist got right up made a phone call and had a counselor lined up to meet with me right after his appointment. So I did meet with the counselor, got some prescriptions, made many appointments, and made a difference.
If you are not in counseling, call right now and make a appointment, and get some medication changes, or new meds to help you and then get some counseling who knows what you are going through.
Also like Davidg said, please keep coming back, posting what you are going through and what you are feeling and ask for feedback. Please email me, give me your phone number and lets talk. I have walked the road you are walking down.
It will get better, the dark clouds, the cold rain and sleet in your face will abide. The clouds will depart and the the sunshine will return. It just takes time and professional assistance in addition to a support network like yiu already have here. I promise you, it does get better.
Please do not feel guilty about your statistics and prognosis. I am a G9, and I won't list all the other great stats that my biopsy and pathology reported. I have optimism and willing to fight and that is what is important.
We have to enjoy the jouney, no matter where it takes us. I am cheering you on, hoping the clouds lift and you can find some peace and happiness in the near future.
DRE Positive, Tumor Left Apex, Biopsy 7 out of 12 positive, Gleason 9 (5+4) both sides, Dx 2/15/11,
RRP 4/27/11. Pathology, 25% cancer, PCa in margins, lymph node, seminal vesicles, pt3bI, One lymph node positive
12-19-12 Lost my less than sign on my ultra-senstivie PSA test. Currently 0.01
1st Lupron Shot (45 mg) and Cassodex on January 11, 2013
IMRT Scheduled for 38 sessions.