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Does HW depress you?

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compiler
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2009
Posts : 7710
Posted 10/3/2013 5:04 AM (GMT -8)
Someone posted:

"I have made a conscious decision to spend less time on board leading up to test so as to avoid focusing too much on it or reading topics/views that can bring up the dark side of this whole process."

I thought that was a very interesting comment.

I personally get anxious before tests, but I don't find HW influences me in that regard one way or another.

Thoughts?

Mel

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Buddy Blank
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2013
Posts : 2700
Posted 10/3/2013 5:21 AM (GMT -8)
It can. I believe any health forum can often show a bad side to disease in that people who recover move on with their lives - as it should be.
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compiler
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2009
Posts : 7710
Posted 10/3/2013 6:44 AM (GMT -8)
Buddy:

I'm sure it can.

In fact, before I started HT, I know I asked for information from those who were on HT.

The honest information I got was not exactly cheerful.

But, in general, I do not find HW influences my mood.

It is a good place to vent, and get information...and develop some friendships!

Mel

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James C.
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2007
Posts : 4464
Posted 10/3/2013 6:44 AM (GMT -8)
Sad to say, but it does nowadays. After 6 years of participating, 5 1/2 years of it every day, with the site left open on my browser and reading multiple times daily, I finally had to back away some. I can say that I read every post daily for the first 4 1/2 years, first as a learner and later as a Moderator. After 5 years, I just burnt out and found myself feeling down and worrying about so many others situations. Too much empathy? Perhaps.

Now I will open it up and scan the topics, picking ones to read, rather than reading every word of every post. Then I close it up and go do something else until tomorrow. I find that I feel better, am less stressed and don't have the whole situation on my mind all the time.

If things change beyond my anticipated SRT, whenever that arrives, to where I need the information or closer connections to you guys here, I'll be back to the old routine. Some may feel slightly offended with how I've worded this, but really it boils down to I love you guys, and worry about you all, but I gotta step back for my own sake.
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Reltnie
Veteran Member
Joined : Feb 2013
Posts : 722
Posted 10/3/2013 6:50 AM (GMT -8)
There are times I get a little anxious reading this forum because of the numerous participants who have suffered terribly from this disease.  But mostly I feel very fortunate to have gotten such good advice that really helped me during the beginning stages of my journey.  I also feel an obligation to try and give back and reassure newbies that there are many of us who have done well and give them some hope that they will be alright too.

Tom

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Phenom
Veteran Member
Joined : Dec 2011
Posts : 615
Posted 10/3/2013 7:10 AM (GMT -8)
No, having PC depresses me. I'm happy to know that HW is here for any help and advice I might need, and I also find members' journeys interesting. Like anything else, and especially on the internet, it can be overdone.
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Beothail
Regular Member
Joined : Jun 2012
Posts : 222
Posted 10/3/2013 7:15 AM (GMT -8)
I'm not depressed by participating in this forum. I'm saddened by the number of men who have much more dire situations than my own (and maybe a little envious of men who have better situations than I do). My goals for being here are:

1) Learn from others who are battling the same side effects I am: incontinence and ED.
2) Share my experience with others who may be earlier in the ordeal and are looking for some insight/information.

I'm achieving my goals; so it's very positive experience for me.

Mike
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Michael_T
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2012
Posts : 4049
Posted 10/3/2013 7:28 AM (GMT -8)
It doesn't depress me, but it does remind me I have cancer. Otherwise, I rarely think of it. (When I'm feeling the SEs of my HT, I blame it on the HT...for some reason my mind doesn't blame it on the fact that I was diagnosed with cancer.)

I can see how it would be possible to burn out on HW after a while. But for now I'm fine and I've learned so much here I want to be able to share my experiences with the newly diagnosed when they're relevant.

Michael
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Casper319
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2011
Posts : 771
Posted 10/3/2013 8:01 AM (GMT -8)
Great place to share experiences and learn. But I also have posted and read less than I used to only because I try to forget this disease and think about other stuff.....not that reading here depresses me but keeps my mind on the cancer.
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cmetalman
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2011
Posts : 716
Posted 10/3/2013 8:08 AM (GMT -8)
I take it all in moderation;)
Cmetalman
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compiler
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2009
Posts : 7710
Posted 10/3/2013 8:30 AM (GMT -8)
I do get depressed when I think about my situation (ie: when/if I dwell on it).

If I think of all the time I've spent on HW, along with all the time making/keeping/fretting about tests/appointments then I guess that can be (no, IS) a downer.

Mel

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Casey59
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2009
Posts : 3173
Posted 10/3/2013 8:53 AM (GMT -8)
Quite the opposite. The main focus of my own participation at HW is helping the newcomers who have just been hit with “the big ‘C’ word” and are at what us more experienced PC vets know to be the precipice of their patient education process.   Too often we hear tones of men who “wished they knew then what they know now ” about prostate cancer.   Newcomers are hungry for good information, and it is satisfying to help provide them with that information (or to help provide the sources of that information to other HW vets who I see re-use much of the material I previously provided).   My reward, which keeps me coming back, is knowing that I’ve provided solid guidance (including the legacy of enduring posts) to many people—both newcomers and not-so-newcomers—based on the numerous emailed or posted notes of appreciation for my efforts. HW does not depress me.   I know, from much training in my professional life, that change is difficult and can be a bitter pill.   Not everyone will get it, but I do believe that “we can do better.”   In March 2010, I predicted in a HW posting that a "tsunami" of change was on the horizon; I believe that the "wake-up call" the PC-world received more than a year later, in October 2011, (while not inofitself being a particularly good change) has and will continue for some time to serve as stimulus for change to the better. And finally, I am inspired to “ pay it forward ,” as I am indebted to the knowledge and experience of others who gave me counsel over the phone, especially in those first few scary weeks/months after my own diagnosis.   They were “paying it forward.”   As I am not able to “pay them back,” I do look to “ pay it forward ” with like knowledge, experience and wisdom to others. Having some, and perhaps more than the average, interest in history, I found this letter by Benjamin Franklin to be fascinating, and I first published this quote in a HW post over 2 years ago in June 2011.   It was written while Franklin lived in Paris (for 9 years, through the duration of the Revolutionary War) as he helped another American he met there get re-started in his life back in the States after going through a rough patch, and beautifully conveys his personal descript ion of “ paying it forward ”: Passy [was outside Paris; now absorbed into Paris] , April 22d, 1784 Dear Sir, I received yours [a letter] of the 15th Instant [the current month] , and the Memorial it inclosed. The account they give of your situation grieves me. I send you herewith a Bill for Ten Louis d’ors [French money] . I do not pretend to give such a Sum; I only lend it to you. When you shall return to your Country with a good Character, you cannot fail of getting into some Business, that will in time enable you to pay all your Debts. In that Case, when you meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro' many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its Progress. This is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money. I am not rich enough to afford much in good works, and so am obliged to be cunning and make the most of a little. With best wishes for the success of your Memorial, and your future prosperity, I am, dear Sir, your most obedient servant, B. Franklin .         Post Edited (Casey59) : 10/3/2013 12:35:37 PM (GMT-6)
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MsWorryWart
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2011
Posts : 1470
Posted 10/3/2013 9:20 AM (GMT -8)
Great post Casey!

HW does not depress me, but I must admit that I sort of pick and choose what I will or will not read.

Perhaps that is shallow, but some things have the ability to send me on a research mission, while others seem to suck the life out of me.

I love researching and I love life, so I chose wisely.
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InTheShop
Elite Member
Joined : Jan 2012
Posts : 11468
Posted 10/3/2013 10:14 AM (GMT -8)
I got depressed reading this thread.
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Ed C. (Old67)
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2009
Posts : 2543
Posted 10/3/2013 10:47 AM (GMT -8)
I find Healing well to be a great source of information that has helped me along the way. I try to help others especially new comers if it is something I experienced myself. The part that can be depressing is reading some of the our PCa brothers who suffering from their advanced disease and losing hope.
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Cajun Jeff
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2009
Posts : 4175
Posted 10/3/2013 10:54 AM (GMT -8)
Like others have said. I now do selective reading. I get sad when some of my brothers are having a difficult time and I offer support however I can. With that being said. Many of the threads are upbeat and enjoyable. Some of them are funny and I really enjoy the comments that my friends post.

This is a great site and the most frequent posters are the new guys trying to get info. Most of the older members fade into the dawn. I encourage members that are doing well to continue to post those zeros! It is important for new members to know that we do have members with GREAT Results of treatment.

Cajun Jeff
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A Yooper
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2012
Posts : 2149
Posted 10/3/2013 10:57 AM (GMT -8)
HW depresses me when I read posts from some of our PCa veterans that are facing challenges. HW depresses me when we lose a brother - Our Bud certainly still hits my heart to this day.

HW depresses me when I read posts from the newbies that are scared and don't know what to do. I quickly change that mode of depressing to inspiring by lending whatever I can to them - my own mantra of "Pay Forward." (BTW thanks Casey for posting the historical blip again, that you posted on one of my threads from nearly a year ago when I discussed my Pay Forward / Pay Back attitude!)

HW inspires me when I read of the success stories that show up here, from those that at this point are doing great / no issues to those that refuse to lose and are thus winning - Todd is the first to come to mind. . . .

HW inspires me everyday, because truth be told I am addicted to this site; I am on here continually throughout the day and night, every day. I can't stop it either - nor do I want to at this point as I've got way too much "Pay Forward / Pay Back" to do yet. . . .

Thanks for putting this thread out here Mel, really got me into some deep thinking, reflection. . . .
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tdnjam
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2013
Posts : 586
Posted 10/3/2013 11:12 AM (GMT -8)
I don't get depressed but reading this site is a reminder and I would rather focus on things non Prostate Cancer. I don't visit the site as much as I did when first diagnosed because it is a reminder.  Plus the site can cause me some unnecessary worrying.  Just recently there was discussion of PSA test after surgery and someone commented (paraphrasing) they know their cancer may have returned when the number starts climbing and no one really challenged the statement.  In their case the number had risen from "0" to something like .05.  Now mine had gone from undetectable to .1 in three months and yet my Uro told me not to worry until and unless it reaches .2   Now you can probably guess that post had all kinds of thoughts running through my head and I admit I was really worried to the point of making myself sick.  I had convinced myself, because of the post that my Uro was keeping bad news from me.  Days later I read other post that confirmed what my Uro had told me and it eased my mind.  I have tried to educate myself but have to admit all of this still confuses me from time to time. Guess part of the confusion comes from why some of you insist on PSA test carried out to two decimal places? If there is no need to worry until the PSA hits .2 then why even be concerned if a PSA rises from .01 to .05 or even .10 for that matter?  Probably shouldn't have posed the question as I might not like what I hear.LOL
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compiler
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2009
Posts : 7710
Posted 10/3/2013 12:57 PM (GMT -8)
I have a friend with PC. He used to read here and post. He had surgery and is doing well, with basically undetectables (with the exception of one shock that turned out to be a lab error). Anyway, it has been about 5 years for him. A few years ago, he read on HW about someone who had a string of zeros but then had a BCR. It upset my friend. He no longer reads HW and he is much happier.

In short, there are probably certain circumstances/situations/psyches where one is better off NOT reading HW.

Like Yooper, I think I am at least somewhat addicted to this site.

Mel (still learning!)

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Steven D
Regular Member
Joined : Apr 2013
Posts : 368
Posted 10/3/2013 3:11 PM (GMT -8)
Cancer depresses me, HW enlightens me.
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F8
Veteran Member
Joined : Feb 2010
Posts : 5775
Posted 10/3/2013 3:30 PM (GMT -8)
a wise man once told me:  "whatever you focus on will grow". 

ed

 

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Redwing57
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2013
Posts : 2821
Posted 10/3/2013 3:56 PM (GMT -8)
I really enjoy discussions here; it's the whole personal PCa situation that sometimes brings me down. The lack of clear cut answers or guidelines frustrates me. The stats about limited long term survival for T3 G9 cases depresses me, quite apart from this forum. I was planning on living into my 80s, but this diagnosis makes that seem pretty unlikely.

I have an "undetectable" PSA after end of radiation therapy, so I'm rejoicing in that! It's tempting to just turn away 100% from this site, and maybe I should, to clear my mind of it. It's good until it's not good.

But, I'm so grateful for everyone's input that I feel it necessary to share my experience where it may be helpful. Also, I'm still undergoing HT so venting here is sometimes helpful. Mostly I'm ok, but sometimes my mind starts running out the darker possibilities of my diagnosis, and I have a bad day (like yesterday). It's not clear if HW kicks that snowball down the hill, or if it helps to stop it.

I have to admit, my recent G9 thread "Welcome and how ya doin' ", while intended to be helpful to this subgroup, has freaked me out a bit (an unintended side-effect). There aren't a whole lot of good-news stories there, but some very brave people facing some difficult situations.

My faith is all that keeps me out of the vortex, but I understand and accept this isn't the forum to discuss that.
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F8
Veteran Member
Joined : Feb 2010
Posts : 5775
Posted 10/3/2013 4:39 PM (GMT -8)
the same wise man told me "be wary of anyone who says their sole purpose is to 'help you'".  I come here for ME.  if someone gets helped by something I say or do "far out!" i'm glad to help but I've found that cancer is a selfish disease.

ed

 

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Tall Allen
Elite Member
Joined : Jul 2012
Posts : 10645
Posted 10/3/2013 4:54 PM (GMT -8)
I'm more prone to anxiety than depression. I generally find that avoiding something increases my anxiety, while facing it head on decreases my anxiety. HW and my support groups definitely reduce my fear and anxiety.
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A Yooper
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2012
Posts : 2149
Posted 10/3/2013 6:30 PM (GMT -8)
ed, regarding your comment "the same wise man told me "be wary of anyone who says their sole purpose is to 'help you'".  I come here for ME." 

I honestly have to respectfully disagree - from MY perspective.  Most probably because I am one of the fortunate ones (up to this point at least) that was treated for my PCa and have no issues, PSA is good, health is great and no SE's at all.

So then based on where I AM, I AM here to help others.  So then I guess if you must, go ahead and be wary of me.     smilewinkgrin

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