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What a GFMPH gathering is...and what it isn't

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Prostate Cancer
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Sephie
Veteran Member
Joined : Jun 2008
Posts : 1804
Posted 10/3/2013 5:59 AM (GMT -8)
As a first time attendee at the Rochester GFMPH gathering, I wanted to share some of my observations. Hopefully, some of what I say will persuade those of you "on the fence" to attend one next year.

My husband and I knew that this gathering was not going to be about prostate cancer…it was simply a gathering of men diagnosed with prostate cancer, in various stages of their journey, along with their spouses/partners. From reading and hearing about past GFMPH events, we were expecting this weekend to be uplifting, filled with new friendships, laughter, and perhaps even a tear or two. We weren’t disappointed.

Prostate cancer really does take a back seat at these gatherings. Yes, there are the jokes about pee pads, ED injections, hormone treatment, and even a few references to pulling out a ruler (one guy suggested a yardstick!), but I never heard anything remotely resembling self-pity by the guys or their partners. Just didn’t happen.

I found it truly amazing that my husband and I, who had never met anyone gathered at Worried Guy’s house, could walk into the middle of such a gathering and be welcomed so warmly and with so much love. It was obvious from the moment we arrived that this group was family, and they welcomed us with open arms.

These gatherings are not pity parties. When we weren’t eating or drinking, we were talking about where we grew up, where we went to school, what we do for a living, places we’ve been and places we hope to visit. Sure there were discussions about how PCa has impacted our lives but no one there has allowed PCa to define who they are. The atmosphere is totally fluid and there are no cliques – you can walk up to a group of people who are discussing something and join in without feeling you are intruding. You can sit down next to someone you don’t know, and right away a conversation starts. It’s amazing how easy it is to fit in with this group.

As promised, the GFMPH gathering in Rochester was life-changing…more importantly, it was life-affirming. We got to meet so many interesting people from all walks of life, and we got to know so much more about them other than Gleason scores and PSA levels. This, in and of itself, was worth the trip.

If you’re thinking about attending a GFMPH gathering, good for you. I think you will find it to be a thoroughly positive experience. If you’re worried that your spouse/partner may not feel comfortable, put that thought out of your head…no one feels uncomfortable or out-of-place at a GFMPH gathering. No one is made to feel more or less important than anyone else there – everyone is included in everything and everyone is important. How often do we get to experience something like this in our lives?
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James C.
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2007
Posts : 4464
Posted 10/3/2013 6:47 AM (GMT -8)
Sephie, really sorry that we couldn't meet this time. You did a fantastic job of describing GFMPH, especially for a first time attendee. I really feel a little sorry for those who pass up an opportunity like that, when they probably could use it more than most. Like you said, you gotta experience it to understand it.
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clearwatercowboy
Regular Member
Joined : Oct 2009
Posts : 135
Posted 10/3/2013 8:49 AM (GMT -8)
Sephie

Way to describe it !!! I never could have come even close to your description. And, that you experienced such positive energy about the GFMPH gathering, makes it the whipped cream on the top of the ice cream sundae. We also enjoyed the entire gathering, and like you, we encourage any of our PCa Brothers to join us again sometime.

Hugs to you and all
Clearwatercowboy
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Todd1963
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2008
Posts : 3592
Posted 10/3/2013 9:04 AM (GMT -8)
Nice job Sephie. We attend our first gathering, thanks to spme not so.subtle persuasion by water guy on Dec 1 which happens to be the day before I am old. Yea, ....... Todd turns 50 on Dec 2nd. I wish we.could have made N.Y. but I wish y'all could come in December. Bbirthdays are for friends and family after all and you people are both.
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MsWorryWart
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2011
Posts : 1470
Posted 10/3/2013 9:13 AM (GMT -8)
Sephie,

"Awesomeness" is often hard to put into words.

You NAILED it!

Thank you!
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Sephie
Veteran Member
Joined : Jun 2008
Posts : 1804
Posted 10/3/2013 10:17 AM (GMT -8)
James C, thanks for your kind words. We went back and forth about deciding whether or not we should make this gathering...next time, there won't be any hesitation on our part.

Clearwater: Good to hear from you. We missed you and your wife and everyone we met at Worried Guy's house the minute we began our journey downstate from the motel. Our appetite has been whetted and we're ready for next year's Rochester fest. Maybe next time we can have the ladies go off into the woods while the guys stay behind and decorate the tent. Yeah, I think I'll put Cajun Jeff and Worried Guy in charge of that one!


Todd, so you're turning the big 50. Been there, done that years ago. Trust me, it's nothing but a number. And it's the beginning of the best years of your life...remember that my dear friend. As to our being with you on your birthday, we won't be there physically but you'll feel the love coming at you all the way from the East Coast.

Ms. WW, it was awesome, wasn't it? Such a treat to meet you and the other ladies of HW - an impressive bunch of broads (err, I mean ladies) and I'm proud to be one of them. Love you lots, and hugs to Mr. WW from Sephie and her John.
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Cajun Jeff
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2009
Posts : 4175
Posted 10/3/2013 11:02 AM (GMT -8)
Sephie: WOW great description of the gathering. You know it has been a great gathering when you thought of so many moments keep drifting back to the event. I have thought of each and everyone of you guys that attended and Pat and I have talked about how much fun it was just to be there and celebrate. Thanks to both you and John for being there. It was great getting to know you 2.

Cajun Jeff
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Nomar Lupron 4 Me
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2013
Posts : 1922
Posted 10/3/2013 1:42 PM (GMT -8)
Sephie represented the view of a first time attendee so well, that I can only say ditto for the moment.

Her spouse John and I were the two PCa newbies, plus first GFMPH for a few of the spouses/partners.

I will reiterate the offer I made a few days ago on the last time I looked 5-page GFMPH Rochester thread. Anyone who wants the low down via private email rather than somewhat public forum, use my profile data to contact me.

Just checked and Sephie has not yet added her mail to her profile.

Great job Sephie. You even spelled "no cliques" correctly whereas my post on other thread had it as "no clicks".

One thing I feel obligated to mention is that if Mr Worry Wart offers you one of his special recipe mints, find a way to kindly refuse.

LupronJim
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Jazzman1
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2010
Posts : 1203
Posted 10/3/2013 2:41 PM (GMT -8)
Sephie,

You nailed it alright. Your post gets my nomination for post of the month.

It was terrific meeting you and John. I knew you'd be cool just from your posts, but meeting you both was a real pleasure. Tell him I listened to his CD on the way home. It was a soulful ride that capped off a soulful weekend.

See you next year,

Jonathan
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Sephie
Veteran Member
Joined : Jun 2008
Posts : 1804
Posted 10/3/2013 3:00 PM (GMT -8)
Jazzman, this is John... I am glad you liked the CD. To say it was a pleasure meeting you (and everyone) is an understatement. Hope to see you next year.
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MsWorryWart
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2011
Posts : 1470
Posted 10/5/2013 10:17 AM (GMT -8)

LupronJim said...


One thing I feel obligated to mention is that if Mr Worry Wart offers you one of his special recipe mints, find a way to kindly refuse.

LupronJim

Mr. WW is laughing and said that is one recipe that he does not claim!
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barfinkl1
Regular Member
Joined : Oct 2013
Posts : 23
Posted 12/18/2013 8:14 PM (GMT -8)
Really great to read all the comments about the gathering. My wife and I are hoping to attend in March (I think that's the next one?). We'll be driving down as we also have friends in The Villages that we'll be visiting while in FL. We're friends of Cajun Jeff. Met he and Pat at their home in LA this fall…such wonderful people. They are the best!
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Cajun Jeff
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2009
Posts : 4175
Posted 12/19/2013 5:36 PM (GMT -8)
Barfinkl, I am really jazzed up that you guys are really planning to join us in FL. I heard from Sonny today and he told me that you have requested info. WOW awesome news.

Sephie, every time I read your discription I see in my mind you moving around the corner of my RV saying you must be Cajun Jeff. I smile and remember that warm hug of friendship. Sure do miss you and John.

Cajun Jeff
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