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InTheShop
Elite Member
Joined : Jan 2012
Posts : 11468
Posted 2/3/2014 8:50 PM (GMT -8)
It never gets easier.

On Saturday, I got word that a mentor of mine when I was in high school has just been put in hospice care She's 100 and we've been expecting it. Still it's sad to see someone you've known and admired pass away.

Then this morning I got an email about a dear friend who is slightly younger than I am had a 'catastrophic brain hemorrhage' last night. He isn't expected to live and they are gathering the family as quickly as they can. Talk about a kick to the gut. He was in better health than me, ate right, exercised - everything. We were working very close together on a number of projects for our church and actually had been making progress on them.

Now I've lost a friend. I am just stunned and can't think.

Don't think I'll be posting for awhile.
Andrew
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142
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2010
Posts : 7298
Posted 2/3/2014 9:09 PM (GMT -8)
Andrew,

I am reminded of a visit I was to make to a friend who was helping me with a project to write a local history in my family's home county in a neighboring state.

I arrived only to find the EMTs. She had gone to a college recognition dinner the night before, and come home early to rest. Her housekeeper (she was 90+) found her that morning dead in her bed, hands folded on her chest, with her cat sitting watch at the side of the bed.

I lost the last connection with my Dad's early history (her husband was my Dad's CO before WWII).

But the good news was that I met her, and we had a year of time in which to get a few Saturdays to talk about things that were important to both of us.

We get the good days we are intended to have. Every day is a bonus. The rest are not important.

You are still here. There is a reason.

There is no "easy" on our path.
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Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2008
Posts : 5246
Posted 2/4/2014 3:02 AM (GMT -8)
Andrew - do take some time off to gather your thoughts.

One of the down sides of getting old is that our friends and family members are getting older too.


"Have you hugged a friend today."
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MikeM53
Regular Member
Joined : Apr 2013
Posts : 398
Posted 2/4/2014 3:21 AM (GMT -8)
Sorry for your losses Andrew. That's a lot in a short time. Like Steve said, best to take some time for you.
Mike
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Purgatory
Elite Member
Joined : Oct 2008
Posts : 25448
Posted 2/4/2014 7:49 AM (GMT -8)
Andrew, very sorry for these losses, my heart goes out to you.

David
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compiler
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2009
Posts : 7699
Posted 2/4/2014 8:08 AM (GMT -8)
My daughter complains about having to go to so many weddings (I think 5 are scheduled this year).

She has no clue that when you get older you can replace weddings with funerals.

I prefer weddings

Mel

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gedman
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2013
Posts : 1134
Posted 2/4/2014 4:37 PM (GMT -8)
I'm young (42) and therefore unaccustomed to my peers or even my mentors reaching the end of their lives in this world, thankfully.

Then, last week, the wife of a friend of mine died of cancer at age 27 not long after initial diagnosis. She was young, talented and newly married (less than a year). Totally took the wind out of my sails.

-Gedman
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F8
Veteran Member
Joined : Feb 2010
Posts : 5714
Posted 2/4/2014 4:53 PM (GMT -8)
Andrew -- a buddy of mine recently had a heart attack at work and didn't breathe for 25 minutes. he was brain dead and they pulled the plug on him a couple of days later. he had no history of heart problems and he was only 50.

I know where you are coming from but life has been showing up so frequently the last few years I swear I'm almost numb to it. what I do now is I'm there for friends who are ill or survivors of friends who have died, which is pretty much new behavior for me beginning with my own trip into the bucket. take care.

ed
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InTheShop
Elite Member
Joined : Jan 2012
Posts : 11468
Posted 2/4/2014 5:20 PM (GMT -8)
Thanks for the replies. Turns out he is brain dead and on life support. Some of his family lives on the east coast and are currently traveling here. They plan to pull the plug when the family is gathered.

I took the day off work - couldn't about much else and ended up spending much of the out in the workshop.

Well, our church is holding a prayer service for him and the family so I am off to that in a few minutes.

Guys, I'll say this again, go live life - you just never know.

Andrew
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Cajun Jeff
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2009
Posts : 4175
Posted 2/4/2014 5:36 PM (GMT -8)
Anderw, so sorry for your loss. Death is a life progression. That being said does not make it easier for us to understand. One of the reasons that I try to make each GFMPH gathering is they are fun and we are allowed to live our life above this C. and we get the shake a hand and hug a dear friend that we only get to see a couple of times a year.

I hope the prayer service helped bring you some peace.

Cajun Jeff
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InTheShop
Elite Member
Joined : Jan 2012
Posts : 11468
Posted 2/5/2014 1:47 PM (GMT -8)
Jeff - I agree.

But it is harder with a younger person, someone that hasn't lived a long life.

Yesterday, I went out to the shop yesterday and finished a box I was making for a couple that got married last year. Here's a picture: andrewsviewoftheweek.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/img_03021.jpg

and we just got word, my friend will be taken off life support tomorrow.
Peace,
Andrew
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Swimom
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2006
Posts : 1732
Posted 2/5/2014 8:12 PM (GMT -8)
100 years old. What a jewel she must have been to all those whose lives she touched. May her spirit shine through all who will miss her.

I am sorry to hear of your young friend. May his loving memory bring warmth and comfort to all those who will miss him.

God Bless,
Swim
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MsWorryWart
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2011
Posts : 1468
Posted 2/6/2014 6:06 AM (GMT -8)
Andrew,

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I read your blog. Your words are so beautifully written and powerful.

Keeping you and yours in thoughts...
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81GyGuy
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2012
Posts : 3531
Posted 2/6/2014 6:47 AM (GMT -8)
"Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear,
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come."

--Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, Act II, Scene 2, lines 34-37.

Maybe so, but its arrival is still rather unsettling when it does come.

BTW, Andrew, the above art from your workshop is superb, as usual.
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Todd1963
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2008
Posts : 3565
Posted 2/6/2014 9:07 AM (GMT -8)
Andrew, bro I am so sorry for you. That totally sucks. My co workers daughter was hit by a car that was driven by my nephew. It was a terrible accident with no one at fault. She was 15 and didn't live to see the ambulance show up. He was devastated. His faith has helped him through but it has been a long 8 months. He found a scripture that basically was quoted in the song " Only the good die young" Stupid of me to say but we must all seek to find solace in our time of grief. Death is hardest on the living.
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InTheShop
Elite Member
Joined : Jan 2012
Posts : 11468
Posted 2/6/2014 4:41 PM (GMT -8)
I was talking to a friend at church last night and I asked, "Why do good things happen to bad people?"

Laughter was good but of course I meant to ask, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" but we ended up talking more about the first question.

Perhaps I think a bit different than most. At first I was stunned but now have gotten past that and now seem to be spending a lot of my time helping other church members understand what has happened.

It is all about the cycle of life, death comes to us all but when it's sudden and the person is young, it's harder to understand. I guess it's the thought of things left undone that bothers me the most.

Peace,
Andrew
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tatt2man
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2010
Posts : 2845
Posted Yesterday 2:57 AM (GMT -8)
Andrew -
-so sorry to read your posting.
- time for some R & R for you and yours. Mortality hits us hard , especially when family and extended family are involved. It's the heartfelt attachments that get messed up and send us in a whirlwind of confusion and doubt.
Rest and Reflection add to the good memories that you shared with you and your Mentor. Helping build future memories as you continue on the path - never alone.

sincere hugs,
Bronson and Steve
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