Yesterday was the longest day in plus 40 year marriage. The exenteration surgery ,(removal of bladder, colon, rectum, and anus, ) leaving two permanent colostomies, was the latest in SEs of prostate cancer.
Not to scare anyone, but, you must realize that each choice you make, (and often, you think afterwards for awhile, that you are right), there are consequences. Impotence is often the one that scares the most . Be aware, that that is NOTHING in the long run.
The initial external radiation and seeds failed. Salvage surgery five years later produced incontinence and a first fistula. After an AUS installed, and multiple fixes that never totally worked, another fistula and radiation induced rectal cancer, which led us to yesterday.
Don't get me wrong, it has not been totally bad. We continue to enjoy life, travel and friends, and our lives together. It is just not what we would have expected, but then no ones life is what you think it will be.
Peter and I both say..if we could do it over, he would have had nerve sparing surgery from a wonderful surgeon, and then not worry about
recurrence, use Viagra, pads, and enjoy life. If cancer begins to return,
Watch the psa, but don't worry too much. If it gets too high, see
radiation then. If it comes back even then, there are HT therapies that go on for many many years .
We don't talk often about
the choices that were made, but, peter talked to both our sons who are In Their late 30s about
his decisions. The biggest error that we made was having the salvage surgery after the radiation.
I hope I didn't scare anyone or make worries. My focus is on those who are choosing what to do. Each person is different, and more importantly, each doctor is different, and each cancer is different. Radiation might be fine for some, and maybe surgery may not be. Just don't have radiation because you think it will be the easy way out. It is NOT the easy way out.
There is no easy way ..you just have to find you own way.