Dave, I for one, appreciate what you wrote and shared with us.
Some people would never want to know a reasonably accurate prognosis, and others do. I am in the school of wanting to know. Of course, its an estimate, best-guess, educated guess, but never a fact written in the sand.
I have known my situation from day one with my urologist. So far, most things he has predicted for me have come true. My oncologist have spoken in terms of prognosis, and he's been pretty right about
a case like mine.
I was given a 7-10 year window, regardless of treatment(s) choice(s). I am approaching the 5 1/2 year mark, and obviously still here. No, I haven't planned any funeral, made any arrangements, or even window shopped for caskets, lol. But I do keep this deep in the back of my mind, as it helps me deal with all that I am dealing with, and helps me plan how I want to spend my remaining time, whatever it ends up being ultimately.
I am ready to go mentally, emotionally, and foremost, spiritually. However, in the flesh in a literal sense, I am not quite ready to check out, so I am not quite ready to buy my ticket. I know one day, all this day to day suffering will end in the next world, even if it never improves in this life, and I am ok with that. Our human lives are short to begin with, in the bigger spectrum of time and space. Whether one lives to be 60, or 80, 100, or even 110, that is but a drop of sand in the eternal hour glass.
I am aware of my cancer state of being, every single day. But that doesn't mean I am dwelling on it, or worrying or fretting about
it. It's reality for me, just as it is for you. Not a single one of us can choose to simply forget about
it, the human mind doesn't typically work that way.
My wife and I, generally have always adopted the day to day approach to life. Live for today, and let tomorrow to become tomorrow when its the next day. At this point in my life, I do little, if any long term planning. That part of my life is over with. I am soon to be 62, haven't been able to work in over 5 years, and never will be able to get back into my former career. It took me a long time, for my brain to process, that I am through with that segment of my life. That part is over and gone for me, and all the wishing in the world isn't going to change that.
As my quality of life continues on this slow downward spiral, all I can do, is to adjust my mind to each new and changed reality. Instead of despairing over what I could do even six months ago, and can no longer do, I accept the new change, and try to live with how it is now, not how it use to be. I find that to be mentally healthy, at least for me. If I didn't think that way, it would far too easy for me to fall into deep despair, and to become a bitter man, which I refuse to do.
As I have mentioned frequent times over my years at HW, the cancer may own my body, and may even be the source of my death directly, but I will never, ever, allow having cancer control my mind and thoughts. That part of me belongs to me, and constitutes the real me. And I am happy with the real me, even with all the negative things going on in my body.
Didn't mean to ramble, but your post got me to reflecting and thinking, of course from my own personal perspective. I don't expect everyone to agree or disagree, because these are very much personal and subjective views of one's own life.
This is what keeps me going at this juncture in my life. With each passing day of my life, I become more and more conscious of the fact, that how long you live isn't really important, its how you live that counts. I absolutely will take quality of life at this point, then any amount of quantity of life. And this attitude will determine what I choose to have treated or not treated during the rest of my life.
My best to you, I think you are doing really well.
David in SC
Congratulations on your most recent PSA
Post Edited (Purgatory) : 4/4/2014 9:36:36 PM (GMT-6)