My brother in law has stage 4 pancreatic cancer, and is down to 134 pounds. Gaunt, on chemo, anyone would perceive that as "cancer".
PCa, until very late stages, doesn't look like that. My friends comment on how good I look (well, given what we have to start with anyway). The side effects from our treatments aren't very visible. The fact that sex is typically a huge part if the male mind scape doesn't mean a lot to women, in fact they joke and mock it.
A disease whose treatments attack the very foundation of "maleness", in a rather invisible manner to all but yourself (mainly), and you spouse, is both horrendous and unspeakable. Nobody even knows what the prostate does, and if you dare to explain it all you'll get is, "Eww..." and a quick change of subject.
The only aspect I share of my ongoing hormone therapy is fatigue and hot flashes. This are far from the only ones, but they're all I can mention. Lost interest in sex? Can't climax anymore? Pretty awful, but we sure don't talk about it.
Is it real? Heck yes. Mine would kill me without treatment, and still may even with treatment. Let that be on someone's mind and see if it feels real. Just don't expect validation from those who've not experienced that existential threat. In fact, they'd prefer if it is not "real". Recognizing that reality causes people to at least briefly consider their own mortality, and no one enjoys that.
Exactly, very well said and the OP very valid. Even before I had my surgery, I kept hearing "well, if you have to have cancer, PC is the one to get". Where as, I was thinking while trying to decide which treatment and/or horrible side effects vs possible cures I wanted to gamble on, I thought "bloody hell it's the one to get, don't they know what is going to be done to me?".
Still, you couldn't tell there was anything wrong with me, and no symptoms, before the surgery. And in a very short time post-op, no one can tell anything is wrong with me physically. Since they don't know my sexual status or that I am peeing myself as we stand there talking about
how well I am doing. And they have no idea that statistically I may well have a lot more to deal with down the road. Things a lot of you guys already know about
all too well. And I have not yet lost any weight or had any pain from the cancer. So I can see why they would all think, based on what they see so far, that if you have to get cancer then PC is the one to get.
And hey, maybe it is? At least so far, for most of us hopefully. Or, like another thread here is titled: "It Could Be Worse". I guess that applies to most of us. And if most of us get a lot of years after diagnosis, pretty much pain free, then I guess we do have something to brag about
compared to most cancer diagnosis. At least I will keep telling myself that! ( EDIT: it still sucks though!