Dunno if it will help you to know, but nonetheless truth in advertising requires me to point out that most of the commenters on your threads -- the guys who are so calm and sure -- the ones telling you how to keep it all together -- were nervous wrecks when they -- when we -- were where you are now. I had a pretty distinct tremor; my hands shook constantly and I needed to set my alarm clock for 1:00 am to take my second sleeping pill to try to sleep until sunup.
Yep, I'll second that. I was completely freaked out for the first couple of weeks. Completely. First few nights up at 3 am, a couple of times just shivering bodily with abject fear. Very scary days and nights.
My "calm and sure" comes and goes, ebbs and flows! The guys here helped me a lot, but it was very hard at first, still is sometimes. Vent as necessary...
IGRT by IMRT, 44 done 8/28/13: 50.4 Gy pelvic nodes, 79.2 Gy prostate
ADT2 3 yrs: Lupron/Casodex 5/1/13
Age 57: 55@Dx 4/16/13-
Bx 6/12 pos G9=5+4 (80%, 60%), 4+5 (2 at 100%, 80%, 10%), PNI+
3T MRI: Bilateral EPE, NVB+, SV-, LN-, cT3a
Date PSA fPSA
2/6/14 <0.01, T<10
8/13 <0.1 (ADT2, post-RT)
3/13 5.2 12% PCA3=31
9/12 4.1 15%