6 days till Go Time. Its interesting how when I got to one week pre surgery, yesterday, the knot in my stomach started, maybe its just a right of passage. In any case, the knot tightened a bit today.
I wasn't going to go to work today, was gonna take the day to relax, work out, and just lay around. But then, with this knot in my stomach, I figured I'm better off in the office, where I found some things worth getting done. Mostly personal stuff, paying bills, etc, but did talk to a few clients.
One of the clients I talked to is age 50 and gets a PSA done every year, because his father, also a client, had PC 15 years ago. I had spoken to his father last week, and told him what was going on with me, but was not able to get him (the son). Left a message, and he called me today. He made a comment that struck me. He said "I feel sorry for all the guys that just don't know enough to check PSA, or get diagnosed and just do what the doctors tell them to do without taking control." That comment reminded me, that I feel sorry for the guys that don't know about
Healingwell, Tall Allen, Yooper, PDA, Compiler and the rest of the guys here.
My son came over yesterday just to say hi. We were talking and I expressed my nervousness about
the upcoming surgery. He's 34, and really smart, I look at him as a peer, as well as a son, and someone I can talk to. But I shouldn't have done it. I have made an effort to make this very light, when talking to my son and daughter about
it . I really don't want them stressing any more than necessary. There will be plenty of time for that if things don't go as well as expected.
In fact, another thing I was thinking last night, regarding my kids and my wife - I thought to myself, that if I was alone, with no close family that depends on me, emotionally, I think (maybe I'm wrong) this would be so much easier. I think a lot about
"what if" (no s**t Sherlock) and one of the big what ifs is what if I didn't have other people to worry about
. But I guess it doesn't matter, because, what if my grandmother had B*lls? Well, then she would be my grandfather. But she doesn't.
3 hours from now, I am going to a friends house for New Years Eve. I have no interest in doing this, but I don't want my wife home watching me mope around. So I'm going. Its a group of good friends, 4-5 couples, and we do it every year. Last year we had it at my house, but I told my wife I wanted to do it at one of the others this year, so I can leave and go to bed at 12:15. (its in my condo development)
All the friends that will be there know about
what I've got going on, except one. I'm not one who needs to keep it a secret, so I don't care. Not sending out any blast emails, but I'm not hiding it either. The one couple though who don't know about
it, won't know until I get home from surgery, and the others know that that's what I insist on. Because if this couple knew, it would be in the New York Times tomorrow, and all over Facebook, which I don't need.
I keep saying to myself G6, G6, G6, I'll be fine. 2015 will start of with a bang for me, Happy f'n New Year. Hope it ends better than its starting.
And hope its a good one for all here!!!
Post Edited (Pratoman) : 12/31/2014 3:00:09 PM (GMT-7)